


Nonsense from Paris

by AvezVousDejaLu



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Cat Puns, F/M, French, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Original Akuma, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-01-09 23:23:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 54,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12286386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvezVousDejaLu/pseuds/AvezVousDejaLu
Summary: These are fan-made episodes that take place after the end of season one. They're designed to fit in between season one and two, although season two has yet to be released. I've been avoiding spoilers (and there are a goddamn lot of them) so these chapters are designed not to reveal anything that hasn't been established in season one. I created these "episodes" in the spirit of the original show and tried to bring the humor and things I love about the show to the forefront. I've also incorporated a lot of French jokes because I love French jokes.While in the "spirit" of the show, I did decide to explore some darker/more mature topics that the original might not have the opportunity to being a "kids" show.





	1. Freedom Writer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first thing to note is that when I watched Miraculous Ladybug, I watched it in French with subtitles. Notably, I watched it on Netflix, which just uses the English dub script for their subtitles. Since I can understand basic French, it was like watching the two versions at once so I have a general understanding of what the dub vs. sub fans know about the show.
> 
> In this fic, I'm focusing heavily on the original French version, using the original villain names, including calling Hawk Moth _Papillon._ I'll also be integrating simple French phrases because I like them or they fit.  
>  DON'T PANIC.  
> I've included translations and notes at the end. It used to be in the end notes but there were problems.

“What’s the rush, Marinette? You’re actually ready early today,” Tikki asked as Marinette fluttered about her room, double checking she had everything she needed for school.  
  
“It’s Lila. I didn’t see her at school the past two days and I’m worried. You saw Alya’s blog…” Waking up early hadn’t been hard for her after the fretful night’s sleep she’d had. It was only a few days since Volpina’s defeat. Marinette had only seen Lila in school the day immediately after. “If I don’t see her today I’ll know it’s not because I was late and missed her.”  
  
“You don’t think she’s skipping because of that, do you?” Tikki asked, concerned.  
  
Marinette sighed, pulling on her backpack. “I think I just made things worse, Tikki. She was still so angry at Ladybug, what if she gets transformed again?”  
  
“You apologized! However Lila is choosing to handle this, you chose to do the right thing.”  
  
Marinette wasn’t so sure. The day after Volpina’s grand entrance, _The Ladyblog_ posted an excited new piece about the possible new superhero and what it meant for Paris. Alya had once again done extensive research into the history of foxes and what her powers meant. But Marinette had known that Volpina wouldn’t appear again, and if she did, it wouldn’t be to help the citizens of Paris. It was dangerous to have people think otherwise and she’d still felt guilty about how angry and withdrawn Lila was at school. And so, Ladybug had once again called upon Alya to give an exclusive interview. It had seemed like such a good idea at first; the interview itself was harmless. She informed people that Volpina was just another akuma and would hopefully not reappear. The hard part was admitting her wrongdoing. She’d been extremely vague, or thought she had, in telling Alya that it was her, Ladybug’s fault the akuma appeared. That she had been too harsh on a girl who was using her name for popularity. It had been the perfect heartfelt apology and it had even generated numerous positive reviews, not that it mattered; the person herself clearly hadn’t accepted.  
  
The problems came when Alya put two and two together. _A girl using Ladybug’s name for personal popularity._ Lila’s interview about being “best friends” with Ladybug had gotten _The Ladyblog_ more traffic than ever. It probably hadn’t been hard at all for Alya to make the connection. Almost immediately after posting the interview, she had followed up with an article adding Lila Rossi to the akuma list, even modifying the post with Lila’s video interview to reflect the new information. Marinette had been a pit of nerves and regret from the moment she saw the update. She’d grown more and more concerned as Lila disappeared from view and then the comments started flowing in. Alya had finally had to remove them from the Lila pages last night. Marinette had hardly slept for worrying.  
  
“I hope you’re right, Tikki. I really do.”  
  
“Everything will be OK, Marinette! And don’t forget—today’s the day you promised to meet Master Fu on your lunch break. He should be done studying the book by now,” Tikki reminded cheerfully.  
  
“I know,” Marinette chuckled as she hurried down the stairs out to the bakery. “Akumas notwithstanding, I’ll be there.”  
  
“ _Marinette?_ But you’re early!” gasped her mother, handing a customer her baguette.  
  
“It had to happen sometime!” she joked, hurrying past.  
  
“Even if by accident,” Tom winked.  
  
Marinette made a face at her father as she hurried out the door. “Later, Maman, Papa! Love you!”  
  
The crosswalk indicated it was safe for pedestrians as she hurried up to it, dashing right through. As she approached the stairs, a startled Nino called out to her.  
  
“Marinette? It’s not possible! Am I actually late to class?”  
  
She slowed and walked over to him. “Very funny. Have you seen Alya?”  
  
“I just got here but she might be inside already. Those of us not named Agreste or Dupain-Cheng are usually at school before it’s five minutes to class.”  
  
She pursed her lips. “I think you’ve gotten sassier since you started dating Alya.”  
  
He laughed outright. “Not at all! I’ve always been a sass master. We just talk more now.”  
  
“I suppose that’s true,” she mused, smirking in spite of herself. “Ah! I see Alya!” She had been scanning the courtyard for signs of Lila (nothing yet) and spotted Alya leaning against a wall, chatting with Rose and Juleka. They headed over.  
  
“Hey, Nino! What a pleasant surprise, Marinette!” she teased.  
  
“I’m not _always_ late.”  
  
“True. But you’re almost never early,” Alya amended, putting an arm around her best friend.  
  
“But it’s a welcome change!” Rose’s enormous blue eyes shined as she beamed at her, not wanting her to feel unwelcome.  
  
“Thanks, Rose,” Marinette smiled at her warmly before looking around again. “Actually, I was looking for Lila. Have any of you seen her?”  
  
“ _Lila?_ ” Alya gasped. “Why would you of all people be looking for that scam artist? You hate liars like her.”  
  
“That’s not true! Well, it is. But I’m still worried about her. I haven’t seen her since your post on _The Ladyblog_.”  
  
“So she’s not a superhero! She’ll get over it,” Alya said dismissively, waving her hand. “Almost everyone in class has been an akuma at one point, if anything it’ll help her fit right in.”  
  
Lila didn’t want to _fit in_ , she wanted to _stand out_ but Marinette didn’t think there was any point in pointing that out to Alya. Rather, Rose and Juleka were looking at each other uncomfortably like they were deciding whether to say something.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Nino asked them.  
  
“It’s just…” Rose faltered.  
  
“You haven’t heard? Lila dropped out of school,” Juleka said, awkwardly glancing from Marinette to Alya.  
  
“WHAT?”  
  
“Is it because of _The Ladyblog?_ ” Marinette gasped, her worst fears coming true.  
  
“That can’t be true!” Alya declared firmly. “No one would transfer just because of that!”  
  
Rose fidgeted. “Well, it wasn’t just that.”  
  
“Hey, everyone!” Adrien greeted cheerfully, waving as he arrived on the scene. “What’s going on?” he added, noticing the dour mood.  
  
“Lila quit school!”  
  
“WHAT? Why would she do that?” Adrien exclaimed, a horrendous sense of guilt washing over him. It couldn’t be because of Ladybug? Or was she embarrassed because she’d tried to impress him and got caught in a lie? He didn’t return her feelings but he wouldn’t want to avoid being her friend because of that!  
  
“Chloé,”Juleka said simply by way of explanation. A cold sense of understanding crept over the four of them. They all got the feeling they knew where this was going.  
  
“Not just her, either,” Rose admitted miserably. “After I got to spend time with Prince Ali, he gave me his private email and we’ve been pen pals ever since. So… when I wrote him saying his good friend Lila had transferred to my school I thought he’d be delighted… but he wrote me back saying he didn’t know who she was. She’d never met him like she said.”  
  
“ _No one_ has met that pretentious little poser.”  
  
Everyone jumped and turned around. Chloé had arrived on the scene, Sabrina in tow, evidentially having followed Adrien and overheard their conversation.  
  
“She’s a horrible liar who made up everything. I bet that imposter never would have dreamed that Jagged Stone himself was staying at my daddy’s hotel. All that nonsense about him writing a song about her, it’s totally lame. She probably thought there would be no way to prove her wrong but all I had to do was ask him myself. Turns out that song was about his crocodile. Then when I heard Rose say she’d lied about meeting _another celebrity_ —after all that stuff with Ladybug!—I naturally had to warn everyone about what a horrible liar she was. It was only a matter of time before the rest of her lies unraveled. She’d practically told everyone she met one tall tale or another, I’d be shocked if anything about her was true.”  
  
Rose wrapped her arms around herself miserably, ashamed of her part in Lila’s demise, though Marinette seriously doubted she’d intended for Chloé to hear about Prince Ali. Juleka put a comforting hand on her shoulder and mumbled, “There’s no proof her parents were even diplomats.”  
  
“Me, I seriously doubt it,” Chloé scoffed. “It serves that little poser right for hanging all over _my_ Adrien.”  
  
Marinette normally would have grumbled something about _he’s not_ your _Adrien_ but she was still feeling sick to her stomach. Luckily, Nino rolled his eyes for her. Adrien hadn’t seemed to notice.  
  
“Come, Sabrina. Let’s get to class,” Chloé said imperiously as she sashayed away, Sabrina following smugly behind.  
  
“I can’t believe her,” Alya growled. “How did I not hear about this?”  
  
“You weren’t in the classroom when it happened,” Rose admitted. “Lila stormed off and didn’t come back to class and the next day she’d put in her transfer notice.”  
  
“I can’t believe this,” Marinette whispered.  
  
“Yeah, I guess she hasn’t met Spielberg,” Nino said awkwardly. “But Chloé’s right about one thing, we should probably get to class.”  
  
They began to awkwardly shuffle up the stairs, none of them comfortable with the way things had turned out. Alya hung back to walk next to Marinette, whose misery was causing her to move slower than normal.  
  
“You OK? I guess you were right to be worried,” she confessed.  
  
“I feel so guilty.”  
  
“Why? You were the one person who didn’t do anything. You never even talked to Lila,” Alya had no way of knowing how wrong she was. “In fact, you had her nailed from the get-go. You were the only one who didn’t buy into her lies; I’m surprised you didn’t see this coming.”  
  
“But your blog! People all over the country have been saying such horrible things about her and now this happens!” Marinette exclaimed, trying not to raise her voice. The interview had been a mistake. She never should have mentioned that Lila had lied about Ladybug. She should have known what an easy a connection it would make. Lila and Volpina looked exactly the same. Her name was out there for anyone in the world to access. _Look at the girl who lied about being friends with Ladybug for attention. She turned into a supervillain in order to pretend to save Paris so she could seem important, what a joke._  
  
“But you had nothing to do with that!” Alya protested as they filed in the classroom. “And besides, my blog had nothing to do with why she left! Her lies would have come out eventually! Chloé thought that Lila only lied because she didn’t think anyone in class knew any celebrities but what about me? Giving a false interview online about a popular public figure to someone who could ask Ladybug the next time they met was way risky! She had to have known that.”  
  
She had a point but it didn’t make Marinette feel any better. Lila’s lack of planning was beside the point. “But you put her name on your website for anyone to see!”  
  
“It’s public information! The news does the same every time they cover the latest akuma; names _and_ faces. It’s nobody’s fault when they get transformed, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Even I’ve done it. And I didn’t give her name—she did! She wanted everyone to know ‘My name is Lila Rossi and I’m best friends with Ladybug!’ All I did is say, ‘This is the girl who was Volpina.’ I couldn’t take back her name. Once something is on the internet it stays there.”  
  
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” mumbled Marinette, slouching in her seat.  
  
“ _TU BLAGUE!_ ” Before they could argue further, Chloé’s shriek had cut through the air. Red faced, she shot out of her seat, clutching her phone like she wanted to strangle it. Mlle. Bustier jumped, nearly dropping the attendance sheet.  
  
“Mlle. Bourgeois, what do you think you’re—”  
  
“It’s an _emergency!_ ” Chloé cried, dashing out of the classroom without further explanation. Even Sabrina looked stumped.  
  
“S-settle down!” Mlle. Bustier stammered, trying for calm even though no one had spoken. “Class is starting now—with no more interruptions!”

 

When class ended for lunch, Chloé had still not returned. Class had gone on as usual, though with a slightly more bored than usual Sabrina. She’d had to partner with Nathaniel for a class exercise, their red and orange hair creating a fiery pocket among the sea of heads. Marinette stretched over her desk and groaned, thinking of the extra lesson to come and hoping Master Fu had prepared snacks. She was giving up her lunch hour, after all. Beside her, Alya pulled out her phone to check the text she’d gotten earlier in class.  
  
Marinette had no idea what to expect from Master Fu. When she’d delivered him the book—whatever “the book” was—he’d grandly declared that it was time for her to learn the secrets of the Miraculouses. He’d given her a precursory explanation: he was the keeper of the Miraculouses; there were more than hers, Chat’s, and Papillon’s; he was the one who had chosen her and the current Chat Noir. She’d asked questions, of course—she’d had a _million_ more questions—but he’d kept it short. He promised to reveal more, everything, in time but first he wanted to decipher the book. He’d already read the book but he wanted to take time to reread it and prepare for her coming lessons. He said it had been a long time since he’d read it; apparently, Master Fu was _insanely_ old. He’d told her to come back in a few days and bring study materials to take notes on the important secrets he was going to reveal to her. The pressure of that daunting statement was making her nervous but she was also excited to finally be given answers.  
  
Ready or not, it was time to go.  
  
“ _Euh_ , Alya,” she began uncertainly. “I have an important thing to do during lunch so I’ll see you later.”  
  
“That’s fine!” Alya said surprisingly breathlessly as she suddenly started gathering her things. “I got a text from my mom that I needed to meet her at work as soon as possible.”  
  
“Is something wrong?” Marinette asked, surprised.  
  
“She didn’t say,” Alya looked worried as she hurried out the door. “I’ll see you later!” she called back.  
  
Marinette felt uncertain about leaving her friend alone at time like this but there was nothing she could do and she had somewhere to be. She grabbed her own things and headed out.

 

 

“Don’t worry about Alya, I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Tikki said reassuringly. Marinette wanted to agree with her but that was the same thing she’d said about Lila this morning.  
  
“I’m sure she will, Tikki. I’m just nervous to finally get some answers,” she said as she headed towards Master Fu’s door.  
  
“Don’t be! This knowledge can only help you!”  
  
“I suppose.”  
  
Marinette raised her hand to knock on the door to the shop but before she could, it opened of its own accord. Wayzz, Master Fu’s turtle kwami was hovering at the door knob, smiling in welcome.  
  
“Come in,” said Fu from his seat across the room. “We have a lot to cover.”  
  
Marinette walked cautiously in the room and sat down across him, folding her legs in imitation of him. There was no lunch in sight.  
  
“You know why you’re here?”  
  
“You’ve finished decoding the book and you’re going to tell me the secrets of the Miraculouses.”  
  
“True,” he smiled mischievously. “But before you can understand the Miraculouses, you must understand their history. Take out your notes. We begin in ancient China.”  
  
“A history lesson!” Marinette exclaimed, shocked.  
  
“It will be hard work to defeat Papillon. He’s got complete control over Nooroo so we know he’ll know as many of the secrets as possible. To defeat him; you must study,” he set down an impressively large and heavy book in front of him, as if to emphasize the point.  
  
“Aw, _man!_ ” she whined, throwing a pouty glance at Tikki. Tikki shrugged apologetically. “You know my lunch break is only an hour long, right? How are we going to cover all of history starting from ancient China?”  
  
“You will have to return after class. We will cover the information over the course of many sessions. Which reminds me, have you seen Chat Noir lately?”  
  
“Not since the last akuma attack, why?"  
  
“The next time you see him, you must send him here. As your partner, he needs this knowledge just as much as you do. Tell him that I have the book; his kwami will know how to find me.”  
  
“OK.”  
  
“Excellent. Now there is one more matter we must address—about the book.”  
  
Marinette sat up straighter, eager again. “Yes?”  
  
Fu looked at her curiously. “I forgot to ask last time; where did you get it?”  
  
She recoiled. She’d forgotten all about that. She had no idea what it meant that Adrien Agreste had been the one in possession of the missing book. While stealing it hadn’t been a very Ladybug thing to do—a Marinette thing, maybe—it was technically Tikki who had gone for it. Although, to be fair, Lila had stolen it first, before _throwing it away._ Adrien never would have gotten it back anyway. But where he got it in the first place had never occurred to her. She really didn’t want him to be mixed up in this or to get him involved, if he wasn’t already. But she knew this was an important question that needed an answer.  
  
Wayzz settled on Fu’s shoulder as he waited calmly for her reply.  
  
“A boy in my class,” she said finally. “His name is Adrien Agreste. I don’t know where he got it.”  
  
Fu raised his eyebrows but gave nothing else away. “Interesting,” was all he said.  
  
“I’m sure he’s not involved with this—I can ask him, if you want. It’s probably a library book or, or some other thing—”  
  
Fu held up his hand. “I don’t suspect the boy,” Marinette’s breath released like someone let the air out of a balloon. “A boy that wealthy, it wouldn’t be surprising if they had rare collectable items. Perhaps his father wanted to use the pictures as inspiration for a new clothing line. Don’t worry about talking to him; you’ll only risk exposing yourself. I will ask him myself.”  
  
“You?” she gasped, rudely.  
  
“I have my ways,” he chuckled, giving a knowing smile to Wayzz, who looked concerned. “Now that that’s settled—we begin in ancient China!”  
Marinette groaned and flopped backward onto the floor.

 

 

Alya rushed up to the doors of _Le Grand Paris_ , stopping in front of the doorman. “I’m here to see my—” he gestured her inside before she could finish her sentence and she ran in, looking around wildly.  
  
“This way, _Mademoiselle,_ ” The mayor stood sternly at the front desk, apparently waiting for her arrival. This was certainly unusual but he said nothing more as he turned and walked away. Alya followed him uncertainly as he led the way in oppressive silence up the elevator to an unused dining room in the restaurant. Inside were her mother and “…Chloé?”  
  
Marlena Césaire, looking concerned, stood up at her daughter’s arrival. Chloé, on the other hand, folded her arms and glared down her nose at Alya with a pointed “HMPH!”  
“But what is going o—” Alya began again but was cut off by the mayor.  
  
“THIS! This is what’s going on!” He bellowed, slamming a piece of paper onto the table in front of her. Surprised, Alya picked it up and discovered it was a cutting of a front page newspaper article. There was a large picture of Chloé making an obnoxious face at the camera with the headline _The Most Unpleasant Girl in the World._ Alya was unable to choke down the surprised laugh that escaped her.  
  
No wonder Chloé had left class in such a rage.  
  
“ _Ridiculous! Completely ridiculous!_ ” Chloé began shrieking.  
  
“SLANDER!” Bellowed the mayor.  
  
“Please, calm yourself, Monsieur,” begged Marlena.  
  
“But I still don’t understand,” Alya said, trying not to chuckle. “Why am I here?” This was hilarious, but it hardly had anything to do with her. And why bring her mother out of work for this? It should be the lunch rush at this time.  
  
“Read further,” was all he said.  
  
With another confused glance at her mother, Alya did so and was given another shock when she recognized a different face. Smiling handsomely from his small picture at the end of the article was its author, Afaitu Janvier, whom she had met with a few days before. In fact, she had given him an interview. She quickly and carefully read the article, a growing sense of dread filling her stomach.  
  
“But… I don’t… This isn’t…” she choked.  
  
“’… _Performed extensive research into the villainous actions of the Papillon with author of the world renown blog,_ The Ladyblog, _Alya Césaire_ …’” the mayor quoted venomously. “It mentions you by name!”  
  
“But this isn’t what he interviewed me for!” Alya panicked.  
  
“Everyone please calm yourselves!” Marlena cut into the ensuing argument. “Give her a chance to explain!” The mayor still looked deeply unimpressed and Chloé was still fuming but at least they stopped shouting. Satisfied with the relative calm, Marlena turned to her daughter and nodded at her to begin. “Go on, Alya.”  
  
Alya took a deep breath. “M. Janvier contacted me asking if I’d help him with research he was doing on the outbreak of supervillains in Paris.”  
  
“And I, I’m a supervillain now, am I?” Chloé snarled.  
  
“Mlle. Bourgeois, please!” Marlena scolded.  
  
“Of course not!” Alya snapped. “Like it says in the article, we were researching Papillon!”  
  
The mayor harrumphed importantly. “And who is that?” he asked disdainfully. “What do butterflies have to do with supervillains?”  
  
Alya gaped at him. “He’s the head supervillain! Do you not remember the giant floating head made out of black butterflies that threatened everyone from the Eiffel Tower if Ladybug and Chat Noir didn’t give him their powers?”  
  
“Oh… _Him_.”  
  
“Yes, _him!_ He’s the one turning other people, regular people, like myself and _your daughter_ into supervillains to do his bidding! Afaitu wanted to research the people who got turned into akuma to find out how he chooses his victims and _hopefully_ find a way to prevent more! He contacted me because I’ve followed many of the villains and their identities while chronicling Ladybug. It was more of a consult than an interview, really.”  
  
Chloé just scoffed again. “And if that were true, why would he write such a disgusting article full of lies about _me?_ ”  
  
Alya wrung her hands together and avoided looking at any of them. “Well, in talking to the victims, it seems like people get transformed when they’re upset or angry. When we went through the list of akuma and tried to figure out what made them so upset—trying to find a way to prevent this type of thing for others, of course—we made a, euh, a bit of a connection. Turns out a lot of—if not most—people were upset by, well… you.” She finally dared to look at Chloé.  
  
The two of them stared at each other for a moment before Chloé erupted again. “What terrible lies! I have no idea what you’re talking about!”  
  
“Did you even read the article?” Alya demanded, getting angry herself. “It’s true! It says it all in there!”  
  
“Alya!” her mother gasped.  
  
“So many of our classmates have transformed into akuma and the last thing they remember is getting mad at you or something you’ve done to them!”  
  
“ _You dare_ —”  
  
“You humiliated Kim in front of the whole class! You mocked Nathaniel for having a crush on Marinette! You locked Juleka in the bathroom on picture day! You sabotaged Cheng Shifu’s soup on national TV!”  
  
“That is enough, young lady!” The mayor bellowed.  
  
“Not to mention the time you had your father fire your _best friend’s father_ because you were convinced Marinette had stolen a bracelet that was in your purse the whole time!”  
  
Alya was pleased to see this last revelation caused the mayor to recoil a bit with the shame of the memory. But he straightened himself and refocused his anger. “Be that as it may, to suggest that my daughter is a _danger_ to others is totally out of line!”  
  
She couldn’t help herself. “We were looking for the key to not getting akumatized. Apparently, the key is having no contact with Chloé.”  
  
“Alya! This is not a joke!” her mother cut in severely. “M. Janvier made some serious accusations!”  
  
At this, Alya flinched. This is what had shocked her so much about the article. Alya had truly expected an article on the dangers of Papillon and how to avoid becoming an akuma. Maybe some relaxation techniques or tips to letting go of grudges. She had thought the Chloé revelation was interesting (and not all that surprising if she was being honest) but she had thought that would be the end of it. She never imagined Afaitu would publish an article calling her out on it. What was worse was that he brought the mayor into it. He didn’t stop at pointing out that the mayor had done a terrible job of raising his spoiled bitch of a daughter; he called on the mayor to do something about it. He had indeed reasoned that Chloé was a danger to those around her, greatly increasing your chances of becoming some sort of monstrous supervillain because of her horrible attitude. But even beyond telling him to do his duty as a father and mayor and discipline his child for once, Afaitu took it further and tied the story up neatly with allegations of Mayor Bourgeois’ frequent abuses of power. This, she knew, was what was really getting her into trouble. The mayor was overprotective enough to be enraged at a slanderous article about his daughter on its own. But it wasn’t just damage by association. It was specifically damaging to his reputation. Alya knew he definitely wasn’t about to let that go, although she secretly agreed with Afaitu on both counts. Chloé was a pest and Paris would be better off if the mayor focused more on his job, rather than being a self-important hotel owner.  
  
Alya braced herself and faced the mayor. “I didn’t have anything to do with the rest of the article, Monsieur. We talked about what little we know of Papillon and went over his victims one by one. We both noticed the Chloé trend but he never mentioned changing the focus of his article. When we were done discussing akuma, we parted ways and I haven’t heard from him since. He wrote the rest of the article on his own without my knowledge. Those are his conclusions and his opinions.”  
  
The mayor continued to cross his arms and glare at her, unconvinced. Had it been any other time she would have been amused that Chloé was the mirror image of him; the same haughty tilt to the posture and the same withering scowl.  
  
“If you’re going to be mad at anyone—be mad at him!” Rats. She hadn’t meant to throw him under the bus.  
  
Marlena let out a deep breath and visibly relaxed. “You see? There you have it.” She walked over to her daughter and put her hands on Alya’s shoulders. Her boss had been on a tirade since this morning when he’d seen the article. Pulling Chloé out of school had just worked the both of them up further and made things noisier. He’d been deaf to any and all reason all day but finally having vented the majority of his anger and being met with reason and calm, he seemed to be running out of reasons to blame her daughter.  
“Hmph! Very well, I guess I have no choice but to accept your apology.”  
  
“ _Papa!_ ” Chloé was scandalized.  
  
“But I must warn you against foolish things like interviews with strange reporters in the future. And I will be having this garbage redacted and removed from circulation immediately!”  
  
“You can’t do that!” Alya cried.  
  
It was the wrong thing to say. Marlena’s hands tightened around Alya’s shoulders, recognizing her daughter’s stubborn streak. But it was too late. The mayor, who had adopted an air of putting the matter to rest, flared up again. “Young lady, this so-called article is full of slander and libel! The paper that published it is a disgrace!”  
  
“But the people have a right to know!” Alya interjected. “You may not like the opinion portion, but you can’t censor a paper for its opinions! And the facts are all true! It should be left as public information!”  
  
“That is not a matter for you to decide! And if you dare to put any of these slanderous accusations and drag my daughter’s or my name through the mud on your so-called blog you will be hearing from my lawyers as well!”  
  
“But you’re a public figure! And the people who have been akumatized are public record—they’ve even been on the news! Letting people know as much as possible about the akumas is a matter of public safety! You’re the mayor! Don’t you want less crime and fewer supervillains?”  
  
“This and that are totally different! Besides, Ladybug and Chat Noir can handle it. Now I believe you owe me and my daughter an apology.”  
  
“But I didn’t do anything wrong!”  
  
Marlena had been afraid of this. Her daughter was notoriously stubborn, most of all when it came to challenging her sense of justice. The whole matter could be settled with a short apology and any repercussions would fall on the shoulders of the man actually responsible for the article. But she knew Alya would never allow that. Real life superheroes had only affirmed everything that Alya had believed about stepping up for what is right and speaking out against what is wrong. She would never let being only a middle school student stop her from feeling the responsibility to be one of those people. If only she would realize this wasn’t about right and wrong; it was about ego. Neither Bourgeois actually cared about their actions, only how people perceived them. Neither one would learn anything from this experience unless public opinion swayed against them, and to have that, one would have to swallow one’s pride and give them what they wanted in the short term to stay alive long enough to face them in the long term. Unfortunately, Alya had never learned to pick her battles.  
  
“’Nothing wrong?’” Screeched Chloé. “I hardly think so!”  
  
“Alya, just apologize,” her mother warned.  
  
Alya wasn’t listening. It was too unjust. The two of them mouthing off threats and insults as usual until the only reasonable people in the room relented to get them to stop. And once again, she was in the crosshairs because something wasn’t going Chloé’s way. Alya balled up her fists, hatred bubbling up inside her. “I refuse! Afaitu was right about both of them! Chloé has no intention of treating people better and the first thing M. Bourgeois does after being accused of abusing his position is to try to censor the press! I won’t apologize for something I didn’t do and I won’t apologize because Afaitu wrote the truth.”  
  
“You go too far, young lady!” roared the mayor.  
  
“Please, M. Bourgeois! She was tricked by that reporter. It was a mistake that she got mixed up in this. Her name shouldn’t even have been published—she’s too young!” Marlena pleaded with her boss.  
  
“Enough! You leave me no choice! I can’t have my staff associated with such libel and people who spread lies about me and my daughter! Mme. Césaire, you’re dismissed!”  
“WHAT?” Alya felt like she’d been doused with a bucket of ice water. “You can’t do that—”  
  
“As a matter of fact, I can,” the mayor said imperiously.  
  
“Please, M. Bourgeois, let’s be reasonable and talk about this. Alya, go wait in the lobby. I will talk to the mayor alone,” Marlena was desperate; it was just as she feared. But cooler heads had prevailed once. Maybe with the teenagers out of the way she could convince him this was a mistake.  
  
Alya was too shocked and numb to notice Chloé follow her out of the room to the elevator. _What had she done?_  
  
“Serves you right!” Chloé mused. “You and that rat reporter are both going to pay for what you said about me. It’s ridiculous. Everyone loves me but a few jealous nobodies get upset on their own and you start treating me like the villain? I’m the victim! You should write an article about how many supervillains attack me. Put that on your dumb blog.”  
  
“Shut UP, Chloé!” Alya had so many things she wanted to say to this horrible excuse for a human being but she knew it wouldn’t do her any good. She hated Chloé so much right now. But she was even angrier at herself. More than anything she wanted to be alone and so without another word she marched off the elevator. Chloé didn’t follow her. Alya wasn’t sure if she had followed her down to the lobby specifically to harass her or if she’d just changed her mind. She was beyond caring as she curled up on a seat in the lobby.  
  
In the dining room, Marlena continued trying to reason with the mayor. “Please, I’ll talk to Alya and get her to apologize for what she said. She’s stubborn—she’s _young!_ —but if I talk to her I’m sure she’ll see sense.”  
  
“It’s too late, Madame,” the mayor said solemnly. “The damage has been done.”  
  
Panic was starting to settle in. He’d always been bull-headed and difficult, but never this impossible. After all her years of service he had to know what a mistake this was. He couldn’t. He _wouldn’t._ She couldn’t believe this was happening. “No, no, _please!_ You can’t do this! I have three children to look after!” she was begging now.  
  
“And I, I have my own daughter to think of as well. Now please, pack up your things. Don’t make me call security,” he said coldly. He had made up his mind. It was final.  
  
A sigh of longing broke through the darkness of Papillon’s lair. He had known it was only a matter of time before someone’s heart succumbed to darkness after such a callous article was published. He had considered a return of Antibug, or even a shot at the mayor himself. But an indirect firing would do just as well. “To lose one’s job is such a terrible thing, but to be wrongfully dismissed over someone else’s actions is completely unjust,” he reflected aloud, selecting a butterfly and grasping it in his hands, encasing it in darkness. “Fly away, my little akuma, and darken her heart!”

 

 

Marinette was sprawled across the floor of Master Fu’s shop, scribbling furiously in an effort to keep up, half a biscuit hanging out of the corner of her mouth. Master Fu was still talking, cradling a cup of tea Wayzz had prepared. The two kwamis were chatting over a plate of snacks Wayzz had been forced to prepare when Marinette’s stomach growling had become too great an interruption.  
  
“…And together with his brother, Yang Shi, it was decided that they would intercept the king—What is that noise?”  
  
Marinette’s phone rang, interrupting Master Fu’s lecture. He glowered as Marinette sat up quickly, scrambling for her phone, but let it go since he’d gotten off on a tangent anyway. Although, the story of how a young male Chat Noir dressed as a woman to seduce King Mu in the Zhou dynasty was hilarious. Or it would be, when he got through explaining key historical figures to Marinette. His Ladybug was a surprisingly poor study.  
  
Marinette, who was confused and bored and beginning to suspect that Master Fu was teaching her unrelated things, was grateful for the interruption. A look at the caller ID told her who was calling. “It’s Alya! It might be important.”  
  
“Almost as important as the knowledge of the secrets of your Miraculous,” Fu suggested jocularly.  
  
“Exactly! _Allô_ , Alya?” Marinette agreed, answering. Surprised and yet somehow not surprised that she missed the sarcasm, Fu raised his brow in amusement at Tikki who gave an apologetic shrug. _That was Marinette._ “What?” she asked, followed by another cry of “WHAT?” and later “DISMISSED?! She can’t do that! Stay put! I’m coming over!”  
  
“Is it an akuma?” Fu asked.  
  
“No, but—”  
  
“Then I think you’ll find this a little more important, if seemingly less pressing. Now, where was I?” Fu looked down at his book to try to find where he’d left off before getting distracted, oblivious to Marinette gathering her notebook and things—with a few added snacks for the road.  
  
“Sorry, but it’s an emergency. I’ll come back after school, OK? Later!” and with that she fled out the door.  
  
“Huh? Wait!” Fu objected, too late. He was not used to such disobedience from a Ladybug. Chat Noir, sure; Plagg, definitely. But with Tikki as a moral compass, the Ladybugs were usually much more resolute. Plus, she was quick for one so clumsy. “I’ll admit I did not see that coming.”  
  
“She _is_ young, Master,” Wayzz commented.  
  
“Yes,” he smiled. “And a wonderful Ladybug, despite her quirks. I just hope we have enough time to prepare them. Papillon makes for a dangerous enemy.”  
  
“What are we going to do about the boy? To think that it was Chat Noir who had the book—why didn’t Plagg say anything?”  
  
“Because he’s Plagg!” chuckled Fu. “I do not know how Adrien got it, but we shall just have to ask him when he gets here. Don’t worry, Wayzz. All will reveal itself in time.”

 

 

Papillon’s akuma flittered into the kitchen of _Le Grand Paris_ as Marlena Césaire cleared her work station in despair. Otis’s salary wouldn’t be enough to sustain them. Would she be able to find a job right away? The mayor wasn’t angry enough to give her a bad reference, was he? She had done nothing for him to treat her this way; her _family_ this way. “ _What am I supposed to do now?_ ” she cried, finally releasing her frustration as she slammed the chef knife she was holding point-first into a cutting board. What did she care if the knife dulled? She didn’t work there anymore.  
  
Her grip slackened as the akuma flew into the knife.  
  
“ _Chef de Fer_ , I am the Papillon. You’ve been cast out by a man who doesn’t understand justice and reason. I will give you the power to serve him the cold truth if you do one thing for me. Bring me the Miraculouses of Ladybug and Chat Noir and you can slice through any injustice you see fit.”  
  
“Coming right up,” Marlena sneered, grabbing a cleaver in her other hand as darkness bubbled up around her.

 

 

Adrien and Nino had finished lunch and were returning to the classroom to hang out until lessons began again. “No way—you were there when Ladybug told off Lila?”  
  
“Yeah,” Adrien sighed. “Lila was telling me that she came from a long family of superheroes when Ladybug showed up and called her out on it.”  
  
“I guess to a real superheroine, pretending to be one is serious business.”  
  
“I guess,” Adrien agreed halfheartedly. He didn’t want to admit it, but it had seemed more like Ladybug had come to pick a fight. She had been so angry at the time it didn’t seem like she cared _why_ Lila was making things up; only that she had involved her. His Lady hated liars, after all. Now she seemed to deeply regret her actions. “I tried to say hi to her the next day but she ran off. I should have done more to support her. I thought she was just embarrassed about getting caught in a lie. I thought it would be better to give her time to get over it but now I wish I hadn’t hesitated.”  
  
“Dude, you couldn’t have known what she was going through. It wasn’t until later that we knew she was Volpina,” Nino assured him, patting him on the back. Of course, Adrien _had_ known what she was going through but there was no way Nino would know that. “But that makes more sense now.”  
  
“What does?”  
  
“That she was pretending to be a superhero. She wasn’t just mad at Ladybug, she was upset because it wasn’t true. So she became an akuma, the next best thing.”  
  
“I don’t think she really cared that much about superheroes,” Adrien admitted reluctantly. “I think she was just… trying to impress me.”  
  
Understanding dawned on Nino’s face. At the time, he had been too preoccupied with his own excitement over Lila’s supposed adventures but now that he thought about it, Chloé had been right; she _had_ been all over Adrien. “Well,” he put his arm around his best friend’s neck and ruffled his blond hair. “She wouldn’t be the first girl to do that. Or the last. You’ll be old and gray and still have women falling all over you.”  
  
Adrien chuckled, feeling a bit better. Nino always could cheer him up. “Wanna bet?” he joked as they headed into the classroom. They were immediately greeted by uproarious laughter.  
  
“What’s up?” Nino asked the group huddled around Max’s phone. Kim and Alix were doubled over laughing.  
  
“You two, look what Max found!” Kim wheezed, as Max held up the device.  
  
They gathered round and were surprised to see a picture of Chloé on what appeared to be an online version of a newspaper article. The caption read in bold letters, _The Most Unpleasant Girl in the World._  
  
“No wonder she stormed out this morning, ah?” Alix cooed, clearly loving every second of this.  
  
“I Googled Chloé Bourgeois to see if I could figure out why she freaked out this morning and this was the top result. It was just published this morning,” Max breathed, taking off his glasses to wipe a stray tear.  
  
To his credit, Adrien didn’t laugh. Nino laughed _a lot_. But Adrien knew, for all her faults, Chloé didn’t deserve this. Most likely. Unless she had done something he didn’t know about. “Can we read the article?” he asked and Max obligingly scrolled down the page.  
  
“You guys are horrible!” Sabrina scolded, stomping her foot. “It’s not funny! It’s a terrible thing to happen to someone, she must be so upset!”  
  
“ _Peuh!_ She deserved it!” Alix jeered, earning murmurs of assent from Ivan and Juleka.  
  
“Nino, look! It mentions Alya by name,” Adrien realized, pointing to the spot in the article.  
  
“What?” Nino cried, looking where Adrien’s finger was.  
  
“Oh, does it? I don’t think I read that part,” said Mylène.  
  
“Oh no! This is bad, man!” Nino moaned. “Alya got called to _Le Grand Paris_ by her mom about something urgent, I hope it wasn’t this.”  
  
“You don’t think her mom is angry, do you?” Adrien asked worriedly.  
  
“It’s not her mom I’m worried about. It’s the mayor! I hope he doesn’t take it out on Alya and her mom.”  
  
“Don’t be ridiculous!” Sabrina gasped. “The mayor is a nice man! He has a right to be angry about that outlandish article and deserves an apology. Why would he do anything to Alya’s mom? It doesn’t make any sense!”  
  
“For the same reason he had your dad fired for following the law; because Chloé threw a fit and told him to,” Nino countered. The only adult he liked less than that idiot mayor was Gabriel Agreste.  
  
Sabrina looked stricken and struggled for a defense. “I—that—he apologized!” she fumbled. “And gave him a promotion!”  
  
Nino ignored her and pulled out his phone to call Alya. “Voicemail!” he cursed, turning to Adrien. “I’m going to the hotel to check on her.”  
  
“I’ll come too,” Adrien said firmly, clapping Nino on the shoulder.  
  
“And me! To support Chloé!”  
  
The boys ignored her and ran out of the classroom, Sabrina trailing behind.  
  
Alix kicked her feet up on her desk. “You know, if our class officer were here, it’d be her job to remind them not to be late.”  
  
“But our class officer is always late and never here,” Max pointed out.  
  
“Yup.”

 

 

The doorman to _Le Grand Paris_ was helping an old woman to her car as Marinette sped past through the door. He had just enough time to notice her and cry out in objection but she was already in the lobby.  
  
“Alya!”  
  
“Marinette!”  
  
The two spotted each other immediately. Marinette raced over to her friend and promptly hugged her. Alya returned the hug, happier for the support more than she could say. “I’m so sorry! I got here as fast as I could! What’s this about your mom being fired because you gave an interview?”  
  
“It was a misunderstanding!” Alya flared up and then fizzled out immediately. “It was supposed to be a misunderstanding… I was helping a reporter track the reasons people turned into akuma. It was supposed to be an informative piece but he turned it into an attack on Chloé and the mayor without my knowledge.”  
  
“That’s not your fault!” Marinette cried, sweeping her arms out wide. “And besides, what do Chloé and the mayor have to do with akuma?”  
  
Alya shrugged. “It turns out she’s the reason a lot of people wanted revenge badly enough to become supervillains.”  
  
“That… makes so much sense,” Marinette was impressed. Not with Chloé, obviously, she’d seen the effect she had on people. But for Alya to have figured all that out in order to even notice such a pattern, her friend had done some serious work. Marinette had more or less known the reasons each particular akuma had been transformed but she hadn’t put any more thought into it than that. She could see where Alya thought this would have been useful information. “And the mayor?”  
  
“Is a terrible parent and politician.”  
  
“Did you talk about them in the article?”  
  
“Not at all, he just used me as the expert from _The Ladyblog_ in reference to his source for figuring out the misdeeds of Chloé.”  
  
Marinette was flabbergasted. How bad could the article have been to justify a revenge firing? Chloé and her dad weren’t _that_ bad. “Then you had completely nothing to do with it! Did you tell the mayor?”  
  
“Yes…” Alya hesitated. “And then I told him I agreed with everything the reporter said.”  
  
Marinette gasped. “Alya!”  
  
“I know!” she grimaced, covering her face in her hands. “I lost my temper! He wanted to take the article down! Manman stayed back to talk him and they’ve been gone way too long! This is all my fault!”  
  
She looked at Marinette then, the picture of regret and despair. Marinette had felt guilty and hopeless many times since becoming Ladybug but she usually had to shoulder the burden relatively alone in order to keep her secrets. But Alya didn’t have to. Marinette wasn’t going to let her.  
  
She put her hand on Alya’s shoulder. “It’s going to be alright,” she said confidently. “Whatever you said to make him angry, it was still a mistake to fire your mother. There’s no better head chef in Paris! We’ll talk to him again, and this time you’ll apologize properly. Worry about your mom first and _then_ the article, OK?”  
  
Alya nodded. “You’re right, Marinette. I’m glad you’re here.”  
  
Marinette grinned and pumped her fist comically. “For sure! Nothing would stop me from helping my best friend! Not even—”  
  
A wall to their left blew out suddenly, the immense force of it knocking the people closest over. Chunks of plaster scattered about the room along with other debris emanating from the X that had been sliced into the wall to destabilize it. Two sword-sized knives glinted into view as the daunting figure of a woman emerged from the rubble.  
  
“—an akuma!” finished Marinette, mouth agape.  
  
The woman’s face was obscured by a white metal mask that molded around her eyes and descended down her jawline like a Roman soldier’s helmet. Large red spokes jutted from the center of the face, forming a V from the bridge of her nose. The mask banded around her head and obscured her ears, though her dark brown hair was still visible, pulled into a plump bun at the top of her head. Her skintight costume was mostly white around the legs and arms, but with red, black, and blue accents and heavy metal gloves and boots. The black lines on her blue torso mimicked that of a chef’s coat with red metal coattails jutting out sharply behind her. A white metal collar was accented with red metal shoulder pads that jutted out into points to match the V of her mask. In her right hand she held a chef’s knife, the size of which would have made for an overlarge sword. Her left hand held a wicked-looking meat cleaver that was even bigger.  
  
People screamed and fled the scene. Normally a few brave souls would pull out their phones and start filming but the size and sharpness of her knives was causing people to make better choices. Marinette’s best friend wasn’t usually counted among the people smart enough to run, however. Expecting her to reach for her phone any second, Marinette grabbed Alya’s arm to try to pull her to safety. However, Alya stood resolute through the chaos, staring openly at the akuma before her. “But that’s— _Manman?_ ”  
  
“What?” Marinette gasped but when she turned to look back at the akuma she realized it was true. Losing her job had been the only catalyst Papillon needed.  
  
“Where is the mayor? Bring him to me! I’ll slice up this whole hotel and anyone who stands in my way!” Chef de Fer declared, her knives making _swooshing_ noises as she swung them around.  
  
“ _Manman!_ ” Alya cried, making a run towards her but Marinette held her back.  
  
“That’s not going to help right now! We need to get you to safety!” she needed to find a chance to transform but she wasn’t going to leave Alya in danger. Her words seemed to stir Alya out of her daze and Marinette was able to pull her behind the hotel’s front desk. They ducked behind it and peeked around the corner.  
  
Chef de Fer whipped around, swinging her chef’s knife to land so close to a bellboy’s nose his knees buckled and he fell backward in terror. “Where is the mayor?” she demanded again.  
  
“W-w-w-with his d-daughter! He went u-upstairs!” the man stammered as if he might faint.  
  
It was time to move while the akuma was distracted. Marinette pulled Alya back behind the desk. “Stay here! Don’t do anything crazy and just leave everything to Ladybug. Getting video for your blog isn’t worth your life.”  
  
“My _blog?_ Are you crazy?” Alya demanded. “That’s my mother! It’s my fault this happened!”  
  
The elevator pinged loudly and Chef de Fer strode into it looking menacing. Marinette wanted to argue with Alya but she had stopped listening and was watching her mother intently, stooped in a runner’s crouch.  
  
“I’m not going to stand around while she kills somebody! I have to help her!” Alya dashed out from behind the desk the moment the elevator doors shut, making for the stairs.  
  
Marinette bit back a scream of frustration, clenching her fists and gritting her teeth at the ceiling. She quickly glanced around for witnesses and fled to the nearest unoccupied room, opening her purse to release Tikki.  
  
“Surely Mme. Césaire wouldn’t hurt her own daughter?” Tikki reasoned.  
  
“I hope not, Tikki. But the only way to help Alya or the mayor is to become Ladybug and _quickly!_ Tikki, transform me!” Tikki flew into her earrings, triggering the transformation into the bespeckled superheroine. Grabbing her yoyo, she ran purposefully out of the room. “I have to get to the mayor first!”  
  
She charged outside the hotel doors, only stopping when she had a good angle to unleash her yoyo. The crowd of people who had fled the hotel had barely enough time to register the arrival of their hero as she zoomed up the side of the building to cheers of “Ladybug! Ladybug!” Ladybug ignored them and focused on her mission; Chloé’s balcony. As she swung up and around the hotel, she knew this was the only way to cut off the akuma. She hoped Chloé had left the balcony door unlocked but if need be she wasn’t opposed to breaking it down.

 

 

Chloé Bourgeois was furious. Getting revenge on that nasty Alya Césaire was a start but she was a little fish compared to the real target of her anger. She couldn’t make the people who had already seen the article unread it but she could force the paper to publish a follow up article denouncing and destroying the reputation of the smug asshole who wrote it. The thought of that was enough to pacify her, or it would have been, if the article weren’t _still in circulation._ “Completely unacceptable! I want that man hanged in a public square!” She shrieked, completely unaware that the longer she spent ranting at her father, the less time he spent actually fixing the problem.  
  
“Now, now, _ma Cherie,_ these things take time,” the mayor said uncomfortably, somehow skipping over the part where his daughter had demanded he have someone killed. The fact was, he had already called the newspaper to no avail. He had thought the usual intimidation and outrage would work but it seemed to only amuse the editors. These were people who were used to upsetting the rich and powerful. They would not be moved by ordinary means. He realized he was going to have to get a lawyer involved after all and was beginning to doubt whether he would be able to issue a retraction in time, if ever.  
  
“We don’t have _time_ , if people see this at school I’ll be ruined!” she wailed dramatically, pacing across her living room and gesticulating wildly. “I’ll have to quit school and live like some monstrous hobo like Lila Rossi!”  
  
“I’m sure it will be fine. No one in your generation even reads the newspaper,” her father reasoned.  
  
Chloé stopped her pacing and fake crying as an idea struck her. “Do you think we could get Ladybug to beat up that reporter?”  
  
“ _Beeen_ … perhaps not,” said the mayor as a knock sounded on the door. He moved to answer it, walking into the center room. “And who might that be?”  
  
The sound of metal on metal resounded as a giant knife sliced through the hinges of one of the double doors. Chloé screamed as the door was kicked open, falling to the ground with a thud.  
  
“ _Toc toc_ , M. Mayor!” Chef de Fer’s blood red lips curled into a satisfied snarl and her robotic eyes reddened as they zeroed in on their target. “It’s time for lunch!”  
  
“W-who are you?” the mayor gasped, stumbling backwards into the table and holding out an arm as if to shield his daughter in the other room. Chloé screamed again and hurled herself behind her couch.  
  
“The blade of Justice, come to deliver you a _slice_ of humble pie,” Chef de Fer sliced her knives through the air for emphasis. “For you, it will be your last meal! _Bon appétit!_ ” she roared as she struck out at the mayor.  
  
The mayor cried out as the chef knife swung down upon him, shielding himself futilely with his arms. At the last second, a yoyo wrapped itself around the knife’s handle, pulling it off course and wedging the blade into the floor just a foot away from its target.  
  
“Ladybug!” Chloé cheered, peaking behind the couch as the heroine appeared from the terrace entrance in the next room. The mayor scrambled to his feet and ran towards his savior.  
  
“Stop this, Mme. Césaire! Killing the mayor won’t solve anything!” Ladybug commanded, ignoring the cowering man before her.  
  
“Mme. Césaire?” the mayor repeated in disbelief.  
  
“I’m no longer Marlena Césaire! I am _Chef de Fer!_ ” decreed Chef de Fer. “This rat causes injustice to those around him and will do so again! I am here to right the wrongs by making _ratatouille_ out of this pest!”  
  
“ _Ratatouille is a vegetarian dish!_ ” Chloé corrected, popping out behind the couch to comment before immediately ducking back down again.  
  
“I will chop down anyone in my way!” the akuma raged and pulled her knife free.  
  
A butterfly surrounded her field of vision as Papillon looked through her. “Yes, my akuma!” he raved. “Cut down Ladybug and take her Miraculous! Chat Noir won’t be far behind!”  
  
Chef de Fer lunged forward, knives swinging as Ladybug ensnared the mayor with her yoyo and pulled him to safety. She swung him left, right, back, and left again as the onslaught continued. It was hard enough dodging two huge weapons on her own; yanking an out of shape old man around like a marionette was not something she could keep up for long. Where was Chat Noir?

 

 

Adrien had a bad feeling when they saw the crowd swarming outside of _Le Grand Paris_. The boys stopped abruptly as Sabrina caught up, panting heavily.

  
“What’s going on?” Nino asked the nearest member of the crowd.  
  
“There’s another akuma attacking the hotel,” the doorman explained. _Typical._  
  
“What? But Alya’s in there!” Nino cried.  
  
“ _And Chloé!_ ”  
  
“Ladybug’s already on the scene,” said Théo Barbot.  
  
Well, at least Ladybug was there. Adrien didn’t know how late he was but it was time to suit up and spring into action.  
  
“We can’t do nothing,” Nino said, turning incredulously to Adrien. “She could be in danger!”  
  
Adrien nodded firmly. “I’ll see if I can find a way in!” he whispered and dashed stealthily around the side of the building. He had no intention of helping Nino get inside—he was safer where he was—but it was the best excuse he could think of. He hadn’t expected it to be easy but he quickly found an unlocked side door. It was so easy, in fact, he was considered locking it so Nino couldn’t follow him. He decided against it, however, in case someone inside needed to use it as a quick exit. Finding himself alone, pulled his over-shirt back to reveal Plagg.  
  
“Before we transform, perhaps we could stop in the kitchens to—”  
  
“Plagg, transform me!” Adrien cut him off before he could whine about finding some camembert. That came after the transformation.  
  
The moment his transformation completed, he pulled out his baton and opened its phone function. “Where are you, Ladybug?” he muttered to himself as he accessed the tracking feature. “Gotcha!”  
  
She was on the fifth floor, which meant the akuma couldn’t be far. The fastest way to get there was the outside terrace. He dashed back out the door and extended his baton to lift him up. “ _I’m coming, Milady!_ ”

 

 

“STOP DESTROYING MY STUFF!” Chloé screeched as another dodged blade cleaved more of her furniture in two.  
  
Ladybug had unwound the mayor and was trying to get a chance to use her yoyo on her opponent. But her shot was always ruined by needing to dodge one enormous knife or the other and then shove the mayor out of the way. The cleaver swung heavily at her head. She threw up her right arm to block its broadside, still holding her yoyo, as the chef knife moved in for the kill. Bracing herself against the cleaver, she kicked heavily at the blade of the other knife, reflecting it and jumping back again to put at least some distance between her and the blades. She had just enough time to get her footing when the next attack was bearing down at her. She ducked and rolled to the side. The wrong side. The akuma was now standing between her and the mayor. Chef de Fer turned her full attention on her true target.  
  
This gave Ladybug the chance she needed; she ran sideways and lined up her shot, unleashing her yoyo. It stuck its target and wound both of the blades together, trapping them and stopping the assault. Ladybug pulled the yoyo tighter, reining in the furious akuma. The mayor and Chloé ran screaming for the hallway, arms waving frantically in the air.  
  
“No! He’s getting away!” snarled Chef de Fer, straining to pull her weapons apart.  
  
“You can’t cut through this! Give up!” Ladybug instructed. She yanked on the string and tried to pull the knives from her hands, but Chef de Fer just grasped them tighter, pulling them back towards herself and nearly pulling Ladybug with them.  
  
“Very well, the mayor will be dessert! For now, why don’t I prepare the main course?” her knives glowed briefly before shrinking instantly down to normal cutlery proportions. Ladybug gasped as her yoyo tightened around air, the knives pulling free easily in their new form. In another instant, they were back to their impractical size and advancing on her. She tugged her yoyo back into her hand but the huge weapons closed the distance too quickly. The chef knife lunged for her heart before she could react. Ladybug saw black.  
  
The knife caught on the baton that had extended itself into the fray. Chat Noir had once again jumped in in the nick of time, literally placing himself in harm’s way to save his partner. “Afternoon, Milady,” he said, straining against the weight of the akuma bearing down on him. He was so close that his back ensconced most of her vision.  
  
“Chat Noir!”  
  
“Miss me?” With a grunt of effort, he pushed the knife back and the two heroes retreated to recover some ground. “It’s an insult to Milady’s sweetness to not count her among the dessert,” he taunted, resizing his baton and adopting a fencing stance. “Why not have me as your main course instead?”  
  
“Yes,” Papillon rejoiced, reinstating his link to his minion. “You have them both before you. Take their Miraculouses now!”  
  
Chef de Fer readied herself for another swing when someone shouted from the doorway. “ _MANMAN!_ ” Alya arrived, panting from running up the stairs. The battle stopped abruptly before it started as they all turned to face her.  
  
Chat Noir recognized the Créole word for mother and knew at once that Nino had been right. Something had gone wrong and Mme. Césaire had been akumatized. The mayor and Chloé—wherever they were—were definitely targets. The million dollar question was whether she was angry at her daughter as well.  
  
“Me, I am _Chef de Fer_ now,” she announced, thankfully giving no indication of a desire to attack her daughter. “Don’t interfere! You should leave this place before it’s too late.”  
  
“Please, _Manman_. You can’t blame the mayor! It was my fault; I should have apologized! I regret doing that article in the first place. I didn’t think about the consequences,” Alya admitted ruefully, reaching out to her mother.  
  
“The mayor never would have accepted your apology!” Chef de Fer roared. “He is a corrupt man who does not listen to reason! Don’t you see? I cannot stand by after what he did to our family! The only way that man will serve Paris is sliced up and served for dinner!”  
  
She charged toward Alya then. The heroes moved to block her but, to their surprise, she didn’t attack and moved past her. She was going after the mayor again. Chat Noir realized her plan in time to jump in front of her, baton aloft like a sword. “Par le Fer!” he exclaimed.  
  
She knocked his baton aside with her cleaver and moved to strike him with the chef knife. He had expected this and swung his baton around to parry.  
  
“Money makes even the cats dance,” she noted, sizing him up.  
  
“Not at all! This kitty will dance for anyone for free,” Chat said smoothly with a wink and a casual shrug of his shoulder. This earned him a heavily aimed blow from the cleaver that he barely dodged.  
  
The assault resumed and he deflected blow after blow, trying to prevent her from gaining ground as she pressed to move the fight into the hallway. He adapted his fighting style, since the regulation fencing he was used to didn’t allow for one opponent to use two swords against one. He added kicks and spins, even jumping off the wall for leverage.  
  
Ladybug rushed to Alya, grateful she wasn’t hurt. She considered scolding her but Alya beat her to it, huddling down on the floor and hugging her knees.  
  
“Ladybug, it’s all my fault!” she cried. “My preoccupation with the akumas and how they’re transformed has gotten my own mother akumatized. Marinette was right—” (Ladybug briefly wondered if she should pretend to ask who Marinette was) “—My blog hasn’t helped anyone. It’s only hurt people.”  
  
Ladybug bent down and put her hand on her friend’s shoulders and said the words she had wanted to say as Marinette. “Your blog is amazing!” she said gently. “I’m always amazed at how hard you work on it. You might have to adjust how you handle the privacy of others, but truth be told, you _have_ helped. I never would have put together that pattern with Chloé! I never even thought about tracking the people who got akumatized or their reasons for transforming. You just have to strike the right balance. It may take some trial and error, but I know you can do it. Wanting to find ways to prevent more akumas is a great idea and it shows how much you care.”  
  
Alya gazed at her, enraptured. Ladybug knew how much this must mean to her and she meant every word. She held out her hand and pulled Alya to her feet.  
  
“Thank you, Ladybug.”  
  
“Don’t worry about your mom,” Ladybug grinned, putting both hands on her hips. “Chat Noir and I will handle this just like we always do. You just get to safety.”  
  
As if to emphasize the danger of the situation, Chef de Fer sliced through another wall, sending debris and rubble flying into the next room.  
  
“I still want to help!” Alya protested. “Isn’t there something I can do?”  
  
“Actually, there is something,” Ladybug said thoughtfully as she turned towards the fight. Chef de Fer and Chat Noir were blocking the door now. Ladybug braced herself and turned back to Alya. “The way she’s going, she’s going to knock down the whole hotel. When the way is clear, I need to you to evacuate the guests and staff. Can you do that?”  
  
Alya nodded, fists pumped. “Leave it to me!”  
  
Ladybug poised to throw. “Ready? …Now!” she tossed out, immobilizing one of Chef de Fer’s arms. Chat had the other knife matched with his baton and the violence broke just long enough for Alya to slip past into the hallway. It was finally a two against one match to the superheroes with no civilians in immediate danger.  
  
“Ha! Give it up, Chef. Your goose is cooked!” Chat cheered.  
  
“Really? Didn’t you already do food puns?” Ladybug groaned.  
  
“She started it! Not my fault they’re relevant again.”  
  
Chef de Fer bore down on Chat, incrementally closing the distance between them. Chat matched his footing accordingly, unintentionally stepping within range. She pulled back and kicked him, immediately turning her free blade to strike at Ladybug who was forced to retract her yoyo and dodge. Chat Noir leaped in front of Ladybug again and resumed parrying the dual knives.  
  
“She’s a former hotel staff member fired by the mayor,” Ladybug explained unnecessarily. “The akuma has got to be in one of her knives!” Marlena didn’t wear a lot of accessories while working, not that she could see any on Chef de Fer’s costume. There were no pockets either; it couldn’t be anything else. But which knife was it?  
  
The fire alarm blared as Alya made good on her promise to evacuate the building. People would be filing out into the street, but would the mayor and Chloé be among them? Chat Noir could see Chef de Fer thinking the same thing, as she glanced towards the windows. He swung at her stomach and forced her to keep her attention on him as she dodged.  
  
“I got this!” Chat grunted. “You protect the mayor!”  
  
Ladybug nodded and ran out of the room. She would make sure they were hidden somewhere safe and then return to finish the fight. She could trust him to hold his own until then.

 

 

Alya pounded on a door that still had music blaring from inside. Penny Rolling answered the door with a cranky Jagged Stone behind her.  
  
Surprised to see the star but determined to carry out her mission, Alya cupped her hands around her mouth shouted over the noise. “Sorry to bother you, M. Stone but the hotel is under attack from an akuma! Ladybug has asked everyone to evacuate the building!”  
  
“What? Again?” Jagged shouted back.  
  
“We should go!” bellowed Penny.  
  
“Fine!” Jagged yelled, turning behind him. “But help me get Fang.”  
  
The crocodile wagged its tail, tongue lolling.  
  
With the elevators out of order due to the fire alarm, Alya soon found herself carrying the back end of a half-ton crocodile down the stairs, with Jagged at the front and Penny lugging the middle. They made it down a whole flight before Ladybug caught up with them.  
  
“Have any of you seen Chloé or the mayor?” she called over the sound of the alarm.  
  
“No! I think we’re the last of the people in the hotel but I have to double check!” Alya shouted. Penny and Jagged shrugged.  
  
“If you see them, tell them not to go outside! They’ll be too easy to spot in the crowd! They should stay put and wait for me!” Ladybug commanded. The three nodded and Ladybug dashed on down to the next floor.  
  
She had no idea where they’d be but she decided she could skip the guest floors. The mayor probably wouldn’t have had any room keys on him so there was no reason to check the rooms one by one. Her best bet would be the staff-only areas or outside. She tried to decide if they would have chosen to hide or flee as she kicked open the door to the ground floor.  
  
She chased around, calling their names in various back rooms. She had already checked the floor above Chloé’s room before meeting Alya and found the restaurant and kitchen just as empty as she had expected it to be. “Chloé! M. Bourgeois! It’s me, Ladybug!” she called again, opening one of the supply closets.  
  
“Ladybug!”  
  
Chloé popped out from underneath a set of linens on a maid cart and the mayor emerged from a broom cupboard.  
  
“Thank goodness, is that horrible woman gone? Any longer in this smelly room and the chemicals would melt my hair,” Chloé complained, patting her hair for emphasis as she climbed out of the cart.  
  
“Ladybug, the fire alarm is sounding! Is there a fire in my hotel?” the mayor asked worriedly.  
  
“There’s no fire; that was just to evacuate the hotel. And she’s not gone, that’s why I’m here to protect you,” Ladybug explained with as much patience as she could muster. “You’ll have to stay here for now, it’s too dangerous outside.” She held up her hands defensively and rolled her eyes as they both bombarded her with objections. Keeping them _quiet_ would be the hard part.

 

 

Chat was starting to get the hang of this. Fighting two swords to his one (two knives to a baton, really) had been difficult but Chef de Fer was running into a pattern. She could only slash with the chef knife and chop with the cleaver. The lack of versatility was easy to defend against.  
  
“I can kelp this up all day! Lettuce battle for victory until one of us is crowned the _champignon!_ ” he didn’t know what Ladybug was complaining about; food puns were _hilarious_.  
  
He knocked her chef knife aside and sent the cleaver plunging into the floor. He didn’t have the upper hand for long as she dodged his strike and pulled the cleaver free. She jumped back and with a flash, the cleaver transformed into a boning knife. Now having two more sword-shaped blades, she adopted a proper two-handed stance.  
  
“ _Houlá!_ ” he squeaked.  
  
Chef de Fer struck quicker and more easily with the new blade. He had to resort to more exaggerated dodges to avoid being skewered. He parried a slash from the chef knife with his baton and launched himself sideways to avoid the long point of the boning knife. He was losing ground, retreating further and further back. He attempted a risky move as he dodged the thinner boning knife, attempting to land a blow to the torso before the chef knife followed through and sliced him in half. But as he thrust his baton forward, the chef knife swung upwards and batted his attack away. He might have recovered if she hadn’t followed through with her knee and sent him tumbling backwards through the open door to the balcony.  
  
Chat Noir dragged his claws into the ground to stabilize himself and raised his baton for the attack he knew was coming. She slashed and stabbed at him again as he continued to parry and dodge. In fact, her attacks were becoming slightly repetitive again. He fell into the rhythm and waited for his opportunity to strike. She slashed out with the chef knife, which would be followed by a stabbing motion from the boning knife that was thinner and easier to dodge. He evaded the chef knife and positioned himself out of the line the boning knife would be following, thrusting his baton outwards.  
  
He’d fallen right into her trap. The chef knife transformed instantly into a cheese knife that she raised to block the attack. But cheese knives were full of holes, which his baton passed right through. She angled the knife sharply, using the leverage of the hole to jerk his baton out of his hands and send it clattering across the terrace. She’d disarmed him.  
  
A terrible grin spread across her face and the boning knife turned back into a cleaver. “ _Raison pour le chien, raison pour le chat!_ ” she sneered before bringing the knife down.  
  
He had no choice. “Cataclysm!” he cried, catching the large blade between his hands as it came down upon his head. His destructive power consumed it, reducing it to dust. No akuma flitted out, which was just as well, since Ladybug wasn’t here to catch it. That left only one place it could be.  
  
“NO!” roared Chef de Fer. She returned her now one and only knife back to its original form and swung it down hard on Chat. He scrambled out of the way of the impact and made a run for his baton. He looked up, upon retrieving it, to find Chef de Fer on the edge of the balcony, facing the upper floors. “Fine! If you insist on hiding the mayor from me, _I’ll just have to cut him out myself!_ ” she screamed and raised her glowing chef knife high above her head and carved a giant X into the air.  
  
“NO!” cried Chat in horror.  
  
A horrible noise rang out on each slice as the top two floors of the hotel separated from the rest of the building. The three sections slowly began to slide down, smoke and debris trailing in the air. The left and right sections fell to the sides and the top section teetered before descending forward. All those people gathered around outside were about to die.  
  
Chat Noir didn’t lose a second more as he launched himself into the air, pole-vaulting over the tumbling roof of the building. He had to get there first and save as many pedestrians as he could! As he cleared the edge of the crumbling building and hurtled towards the ground he was amazed at what he saw. The policemen and firemen had arrived; no doubt because of the fire alarm. They had handled the situation according to the fire safety code and moved any spectators outside of a wide perimeter, blockaded by the police cars and fire trucks. That gave everyone a head start in running as the top of the building came down.  
  
“OUT OF THE WAY!” yelled Chat as he twirled his baton to slow his landing. The moment he hit the ground, he turned to face the roof that was nearly upon him. He dashed as far out of its range as he dared, extending his baton into the ground and skywards, trying to push as hard as he could with the indestructible staff. The road splintered at the force of it but he got what he wanted; the collapsing section hugged the hotel, instead of falling forward, closer to the crowd. The impact hit, the immense force of it shattering several of the remaining windows and sending Chat Noir flying across the street. He was thrown into a fire truck, creating a human-shaped dent that shouldn’t have been possible to survive before falling hard to the ground.  
  
He wanted to lie there forever, but his baton was ringing.  
  
He struggled to his feet and surveyed the scene. He didn’t see any bodies, but two police cars had been smashed. The police inside of them had run for cover. “Is anyone hurt?” he called out for reassurance as people coughed through the clearing dust and slowly crept forward to survey the rubble. There were general murmurs of well-being among the crowd. Satisfied, he answered Ladybug’s call.  
  
“CHAT NOIR! What happened?” Ladybug’s frantic voice came through his staff. “It sounded like the hotel came down and you didn’t pick up—” Aw. She’d been worried.  
“Sorry for the delay, I’m a little beat up,” Chat smiled ruefully. “And you were half-right. _Part_ of the hotel came down.”  
  
Ladybug gasped in horror.  
  
“Yeah, _Le Grand Paris_ is down to four floors. But Alya did a good job on crowd control; nobody’s hurt, if you can believe it.”  
  
Ladybug was just saying how she didn’t believe it when a voice cut through the crowd. Speaking of, it was Alya. “Chat Noir!”  
  
Chat turned to face her as Nino and Sabrina followed after her, ignoring the barricade. He felt unbearably relieved to know his friends were safe. “Are you all OK?” he asked.  
  
“No!” shouted Nino. “My friend, Adrien Agreste, is missing! He went into the hotel.”  
  
He felt a twinge of guilt for putting Nino through a death scare but there was nothing he could do at this point. “Don’t worry about him,” Chat said, waving it aside. “He never got into the hotel. I saw him captured by security while trying to sneak in. He must be around here somewhere in the crowd.”  
  
Nino looked less frightened, but still concerned. He must have already searched the crowd.  
  
“And Chloé! Chloé is still inside!” Sabrina wailed.  
  
“Just a second,” he said, and turned back to his phone. “Ladybug, are you with Chloé and the mayor?”  
  
“Yeah, they’re with me. We’re all safe. What’s going on?” she asked.  
  
“She’s with Ladybug, they’re fine,” he told Sabrina who looked relieved enough to faint. He put the phone back up to his ear. “Everything’s going to be O-”  
  
“But Marinette!” Alya cried. “I can’t find Marinette!”  
  
Chat’s blood went cold. _Marinette?_ What was Marinette doing here? She hadn’t come with them. But she hadn’t been in the classroom, either. She must have come with Alya!  
“Did she go into the hotel?” Chat asked, trying not to panic. As far as he could tell, the lower floors were relatively unscathed. He told himself there was a good chance she was alive.  
  
“I left her in the lobby when I went after Manman!” Alya explained, near tears. “I have no idea where she went from there. She’s not picking up her phone.”  
  
So, anywhere. She could be anywhere. She could be back in school by now. Or bleeding in the lobby. Or crushed under the top half of a building. From what he knew of Marinette, she wouldn’t have abandoned her friend. She would have stayed at the hotel, in danger.  
  
“Chat Noir!” Ladybug called over the connection. “Chat Noir, what’s going on?”  
  
“It’s Alya,” he croaked, trying not to sound as emotional as he felt. “Her friend, Marinette is missing. The one with black hair and pigtails.”  
  
“M-Marinette? Ah, that girl! I saw her in the hotel! She’s fine,” Ladybug’s reassurance was clumsy but Chat was too relieved to notice. Before he could ask more questions, she’d changed the subject. “I’m in a supply closet with Chloé and the mayor on the first floor. Meet me here right away—we need to come up with a plan to stop Chef de Fer before she brings down more of the hotel!”  
  
“I’m on it!” he said, snapping his baton shut. He turned to Alya. “Ladybug said she saw her. Everyone’s fine for now but I have to go before something else happens. Stay behind the barricade.”  
  
Alya’s face flooded with relief at his words and Nino put a comforting hand on his girlfriend’s shoulder.  
  
Chat spotted Roger, who had come forward from the barricade to retrieve the civilians. “Keep everyone behind the perimeter in case more of the building comes down!” he ordered. Roger nodded solemnly, ushering the teenagers away. “I have to go meet Ladybug!”  
  
The door to the hotel, and indeed most of the front, was obscured by the wreckage from the roof and impossible to access. Chat Noir hopped among the rubble until he found access to one of the windows that had blown out. He scrambled inside and used the phone function of his staff to find the closet where Ladybug and the Bourgeoises were hiding. He didn’t bother to knock before opening the door, startling Chloé into a mop bucket.  
  
“Chat Noir!”  
  
Ladybug ran up to him, looking relieved. He took advantage of the situation and swept her up in his arms. “I’m so glad to see you, Milady!” he swooned.  
  
She returned the hug for the briefest of seconds before pushing him away. See? She had been worried about him. “No time for that,” she chided playfully before turning serious. “We need to capture this akuma!”  
  
“She only has one knife left, I had to use Cataclysm on the other,” he informed her, holding up his ring for good measure. He had only two paw pads left.

  
“We’d better hurry,” she decided, pulling out her yoyo. “Lucky Charm!” she cried, casting her charm. They all looked up and watched as a fishing pole fell from the ceiling.

  
“And what are you supposed to do with that?” asked Chloé skeptically.  
  
For once, she agreed with Chloé. Ladybug looked around the room, searching for ideas. A fishing pole plus… she spotted a box of general supplies with several rolls of duct tape, the mayor, the linens on the maid cart, and the door to the closet. That plus her yoyo gave her an idea.  
  
“I’ve got a plan!” she announced, turning to the others. They all looked at her enthusiastically. “Chat Noir, I need you to find Chef de Fer and bring her down here to this room.”  
  
“Roger!” Chat said, grabbing his baton for good measure and dashed out of the room. Rumbling from the above floors suggested she was looking for them. He quickened his pace.  
  
As he left, Ladybug turned back to the mayor. “Mayor Bourgeois, do you have your cellphone?”

 

 

Chef de Fer stood in front of the elevator on the third floor and slashed her knife through the walls of one entire side of the hallway. She’d bring the whole hotel down on top of him if she had to. “Come on out, little rat! Are we playing cat and mouse?” she taunted. “There’s no time for games, you’ll be late for dinner!”  
  
“Are you sure? Not even time for a quick game of tag?” Chat Noir asked, lounging against the wall to the stairs. Chef de Fer whipped around. “You’re it!” he singsonged as he struck out with his baton, landing his first hit all day. She snarled in frustration. He responded by making a silly face, wagging his hands atop his head, before fleeing down the stairwell. The roar of anger told him she was following him.  
  
Chat hopped over the stair railing, jumping from one flight to the next as Chef de Fer bounding down after him. He landed on the ground floor and ran helter-skelter towards the supply closet, knowing she couldn’t be far behind. Turning the corner to the hallway with the supply closet, he skittered to a halt and threw himself through the first available door before Chef de Fer could spot him.  
  
The akuma turned the corner and realized she’d lost him. “What’s this? A surprise game of hide-and-seek?” She slowed her pace and stalked down the hallway, raising her knife. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to cut it short.”  
  
“Quiet, Chloé, or she’ll hear us.”  
  
Chef de Fer froze and listened.  
  
“But, Papa! Hiding is boring and I want to leave!”  
  
She stalked silently over to the door where the whiney voice was coming from.  
  
“Now, Chloé! I am the mayor and everyone must do as I say! Because I am the mayor!”  
  
The door was left ajar. Opening it carefully, she realized the fools had actually taped a bed sheet over the doorway to conceal themselves. She opened the door further and raised her knife. “ _Coucou!_ ” she called sweetly as she brought the knife slashing down.  
  
The blade sliced through the bedding, which Ladybug had been waiting for. Dropping her yoyo, which was still relaying the sound of the mayor’s exaggerated acting, she gripped the near-invisible fishing line she had tied around the door handle and pulled it through the gap she’d left in the duct tape seal. The door swung instantly shut on Chef de Fer’s knife before she could retract it and the blade shattered.  
  
“NO!” cried Chef de Fer and Papillon as one, as inside the storage closet the akuma fluttered out into the open.  
  
Ladybug calmly picked up her yoyo and opened it. “You’ve done enough harm, little akuma. I’m freeing you from evil!” She swung it around and gracefully captured the butterfly. “Gotcha!” She watched as the purified butterfly flittered away. “Bye bye, little butterfly.”  
  
She grabbed the fishing pole and opened the door, stepping through the hole in the sheet into the hallway. Chef de Fer was on her knees in utter despair.  
  
From the darkness of his lair, Papillon strangled his cane and growled murderously. “Don’t let it go to your head, Ladybug. You may have survived this time, but mark my words, I _will_ have your Miraculous—with your and Chat Noir’s head on a platter!” he declared as his window slowly closed shut.  
  
“Miraculous Ladybug!” Ladybug cried as she tossed the fishing pole upwards. It looked as if it might hit the ceiling but it seemed to dissolve into it before it disappeared in a shower of ladybugs as the spell cascaded outwards, fixing the damage caused by the akuma.  
  
“Ladybug!” Chat Noir ran towards her excitedly from his hiding place.  
  
“Well played!” they fist bumped.  
  
“…What happened?” Marlena asked, holding her head and standing up.  
  
Ladybug put a sympathetic hand on her arm. “Head out into the lobby. Alya will be worried about you.”  
  
“Alya?” Marlena asked, momentarily confused before it hit her. She ran to find her daughter.  
  
“Well, me too, I’d better _pounce_ ,” Chat said, curling his hands and posing for one last cat pun. He turned to go before he detransformed but Ladybug grabbed his arm and pulled him back.  
  
“Wait, Chat Noir!”  
  
His heart stuttered as she pulled him closer. What was she doing? If she kept him any longer he would change back. Did she change her mind about their identities? She cupped one hand around her mouth and pressed her lips to his ear, the other hand still grasping his arm. _What was happening?_  
  
“I have a message for you from Master Fu,” she whispered. “He has the book and wants to see you. Tell your kwami; he’ll know the way.”  
  
What did _that_ mean? Who was Master Fu? What book? Was that it? Worst of all, Ladybug pulled away as soon as she was done with the message like nothing had happened. She took one look at the dumbstruck look on his face and gave him a hearty whack on the back.  
  
“What are you waiting for? Hurry! Before you destransform!” she turned the other way and left herself, heading for the lobby.  
  
He stared after her for another second before he ran for the back door he had used to sneak in. No sooner than he got there, he was once again Adrien Agreste.  
  
“Plagg,” he began as the kwami settled into his outstretched hands. “Who is ‘Master Fu’ and why did Ladybug just tell me to find him?”  
  
“If she sent you to Master Fu, it must be very important,” Plagg answered, his words in contrast with his bored expression.  
  
“Important? Does this have something to do with the Miracu—” he was cut off by a dramatic moan by Plagg.  
  
“Oh, you know how I wish to help,” the kwami groaned. “But I couldn’t possibly have such an important conversation on such a horribly empty stomach. It would take me pounds of camembert to recover enough to properly guide you through such information that could deeply impact your future. That, and perhaps a nap.”  
  
Adrien rolled his eyes and searched his pockets. “I only have the one wedge with me,” he said as he handed over the cheese. Plagg scarfed it down in one gulp.  
  
“It’s a start.”  
  
“Fine, we’ll continue this later,” Adrien grumbled, resigned. He peaked out through the door. For now, he had other business to attend to. The coast clear, he dashed out the door and went to find a way to sneak into the crowd.

 

 

“Alya?”  
  
Marlena called out her daughter’s name as she hurried into the hotel lobby. She stopped awkwardly in her tracks as she came face to face with her former employer and his daughter, who were staring at her coldly. She paused uncomfortably for a few seconds, unsure of the situation when their faces lit up at something behind her. “Ladybug!” they cried and Marlena turned around. Ladybug had just arrived on the scene.  
  
“Merci, Ladybug, once again for saving the day!” boomed the mayor as he walked toward the superhero.  
  
“It’s no problem, M. Mayor. I just hope everything’s OK here?” Ladybug added as she glanced toward Marlena.  
  
“ _Manman!_ ” Just in time, Alya charged into the room with Nino and Sabrina right behind her.  
  
“Alya!” Marlena cried, relieved, as she scooped her daughter up in her arms. “What happened? What’s been going on?”  
  
Sabrina tackle-hugged her best friend. “Chloé! I was so worried!”  
  
Chloé pushed her off as she glowered at Alya. “What is _she_ doing here? You and your mother and no longer welcome here. I demand you leave!” she commanded, swinging a pointed finger around with gusto.  
  
“Please, M. Bourgeois! Please don’t fire my mother for something that I did!” Alya ignored her and turned toward the mayor, beseeching. “I’ve reflected on my actions and I’m ready to apologize! Please reconsider!”  
  
“She’s right, man— _euh_ —sir! You can’t fire her! That’s totally messed up!” Nino agreed.  
  
“I think not! She tried to kill me!” the mayor argued.  
  
“What?” Marlena gasped.  
  
“You were an akuma, _Manman_ , it’s not your fault,” Alya explained quickly, with a gentle hand on her mom’s shoulder.  
  
“Well, I’m not sure of the details,” Ladybug cut in. “But I’m sure it can all be settled with an apology, right M. Mayor? Mme. Césaire is a very talented cook; it would be a shame to lose her.”  
  
“I—But—” the mayor fumbled, still angry but not wanting to argue with the superhero.  
  
“Is everyone alright?” Adrien interrupted, panting as he dashed into the room.  
  
“Adrichou!” cooed Chloé.  
  
“Bro, where were you?” Nino demanded, bear-hugging his friend. “I looked all over and couldn’t find you!”  
  
“Sorry, I got caught trying to sneak in. They held me outside and wouldn’t let me leave in case I tried it again. After they let me go, I decided to try inside since I couldn’t find you out in the crowd,” he lied, trying not to show how guilty he felt. He was about to ask if Marinette had turned up too when he realized Adrien didn’t know about her; that was Chat Noir.  
  
“Be—be that as it may, Ladybug,” the mayor continued, finding his voice. “I still have the right to dismiss my staff for their actions. Mme. Césaire has brought shame upon my good name and I cannot have her employed at my hotel.”  
  
“But they weren’t her actions—they were mine!” Alya objected.  
  
“If that’s true, it sounds like you’ve got a case of wrongful termination on your hands.”  
  
The group turned to see who had spoken. Afaitu Janvier strolled casually towards them, a recorder in hand.  
“Y-you!” gasped the mayor, outraged.  
  
“You should be careful, Monsieur. To cause a scandal so quickly after such bad press—you wouldn’t want to be accused of abusing your position?” he said lazily. He was on the shorter side for an adult, but good-looking. His dark hair was messy and he had the beginning of a beard growing.  
  
“Afaitu! What are you doing here?” Alya wondered in surprise.  
  
“Hey, Alya,” he smirked. “Me? I just came to cover the latest akuma attack. Though it seems I’ve stumbled onto something even more interesting. Akumatizing another person, M. Mayor; for shame! And you accuse others of bringing harm to the Bourgeois name.”  
  
“You have no right!” the mayor bellowed. “Coming in here and accusing me of more false accusations! I will have your job for this!”  
  
“Another power play and a threat rolled into one?” the reporter chuckled. “You really do need more arrows in your quiver.”  
  
“Careful, Afaitu!” Alya warned. “He’s serious! He wants your article redacted and then he won’t stop until you’re fired!”  
  
Afaitu placed a comforting hand on Alya’s shoulder and chuckled again. “Alya, my editor never would have published the article in the first place if they weren’t prepared to stand by me,” he explained, smiling. “Really, Parisian newspapers aren’t known for backing down or apologizing. I’m just sorry you got caught up in this. I never would have imagined he’d be dumb enough to go after your family.” The mayor let out a very Chloé-like snort of disgust.  
  
“I was surprised when I saw the article,” Alya admitted. “But it was my fault he fired my mom. I provoked him.”  
  
Nino crossed his arms and watched discontentedly as his girlfriend and the stranger conversed intimately. “Who is that guy and why don’t I like him?” he grumbled.  
“Ah, well, if I had to guess, the reporter who wrote that article with Alya,” Adrien supplied timidly. Poor Nino.  
  
“I used to write full time about politics,” Afaitu explained. “Only the top stories; legislation, scandals, corruption, things that affected all of France. But they never change, these men, and while it’s important to never stop keeping them accountable, I thought I could cause more immediate good if I changed my focus to the superheroes of Paris. Imagine my surprise, of course, to find that even at the most local level, politicians were still corrupt and abusing their power. I couldn’t sit by. Now, if you’ll allow me, I’d like to help you with your mother’s job.”  
  
The mayor harrumphed indignantly. “And what makes you so sure I’d listen to the likes of you?”  
  
The reporter just grinned wickedly and held out his arms. “Not me, Monsieur, but the people of France! Do you think your reputation can survive another scandal? Personally, I think this whole thing can be resolved with or without your blessing, with the help of another article…” he glanced meaningfully at Alya. “…Or two.”  
  
“I can’t. He threatened to sue me for libel if I publish anything about him on my blog,” Alya explained over the mayor’s splutters of outrage.  
  
Afaitu laughed again. “Oh, Alya. The thing about libel is you have to prove _intent_. If you just state the facts and let people draw their own negative conclusions, the resulting loss of reputation stems from the actions themselves. Even if you give your opinion it is hard to prove libel because you cannot be faulted if people agree with you. People like the mayor love to threaten lawsuits, but unless they can prove someone has willfully misrepresented the facts in order to skew public opinion, libel cases are seldom ever won. It is the threat of legal fees that usually causes someone to back down.”  
  
“Someone like me? My mom just lost her job! We couldn’t possibly afford representation, no matter how easy a case!” Alya protested.  
  
“I doubt it will come to that,” he chuckled, shaking his head and looking challengingly at the mayor.  
  
“Don’t be so sure,” the mayor replied, though he looked unsure of himself.  
  
“Really? You’d risk it?” Afaitu turned back to Alya. “Alya, my paper can give you the reputation you need to back up your words. All you have to do is publish an article stating the events that transpired. No one will sympathize with the mayor’s actions. And it won’t just be the immediate public that’s against him. Don’t you see? Your blog has exposure not just in Paris, but all of France—even people around the world! There will be people in other countries who only know the name André Bourgeois as the power-mad mayor from Paris. And with a statement from Ladybug that the dismissal was unjust, there is no one who would go against you.”  
  
“Me?” Ladybug repeated nervously. “Well, I, I don’t agree with the mayor but—” She loved Alya and wanted to help but her public statements never seemed to end well.  
  
“His reputation is in your hands, Alya. And with the public’s sympathy, restaurants all over Paris will be scrambling to offer your mother a job. It’s your call.”  
  
The mayor had gone white as a sheet and seemed to be at a loss for words as he understood the gravity of his situation. Much as he would hate to admit it, the reporter had a point. The comment about being known only for this mistake across the world had struck him deeply. Alya looked at the mayor and contemplated revenge. Now that it was said aloud, Afaitu was right; it would be easy. Should she do it? She glanced at her boyfriend, who shrugged. Then she turned to Ladybug, whose understanding smile filled her with confidence and gave her an idea.  
  
“I have a better idea,” Alya announced. “M. Bourgeois, if M. Janvier and I agree to keep this incident out of the presses, would you agree to rehire my mother?”  
  
Everyone looked surprised at the suggestion, except Ladybug, who beamed proudly.  
  
“If that’s what you want, _Manman_ ,” Alya added quickly to her mother.  
  
Marlena’s surprise faded as she smiled warmly at her daughter. “Nothing would make me happier.”  
  
She smiled back and turned back to the mayor. “So, M. Bourgeois? Shall we call it even?”  
  
Relief spread across his face. “I think that would be best,” the mayor agreed, before adding sharply. “Provided that reporter keeps his end of the bargain!”  
  
“What?” Chloé, who had been quiet for a surprisingly long time, objected fiercely. “So you’re letting that man get away with everything he said about me! That’s not fair!”  
  
“Neither is torturing your classmates, Mademoiselle,” Afaitu smirked lazily. “You’re sure about this, Alya?”  
  
“Absolutely. I have caused unintended damage with my words too often. To try to purposefully ruin a reputation, I’m not sure I would be prepared for the consequences. I think it’s better if everything returned to as it was,” she told him confidently, with another shared look at Ladybug.  
  
“Me too, I also think this is the best solution,” endorsed Ladybug, whose earring beeped. One minute left. “Ah, well, I have to get going now but I’m glad everything’s sorted out!” she waved as she readied to go. Before she did, however, she quickly leaned in close to Alya’s ear and whispered, “ _Good job!_ ” before fleeing the scene.  
  
“Well, if you’re fine with it, I’m in,” Afaitu declared. “It was my bad to begin with. I can’t speak for other news outlets, but I’ll keep up my end.”  
  
“Thank you!” Alya cheered.  
  
“I’d better be off, then,” he noted, checking his watch. He lowered his voice and added, “You have my number, call me if anyone tries to bully you again.” He winked and left.  
  
“Thank you, Alya,” Marlena sighed and hugged her daughter once again. Nino came up and patted his girlfriend on the back. “I’ll be alright, now. You kids had better get back to school; you’re extremely late to class.”  
  
“Mlle. Bustier doesn’t count absences caused by akuma attacks,” Adrien explained. “But we should get going.”  
  
With one last hug, Alya and the rest headed back out of the hotel. Ladybug’s endorsement of the plan seemed to have mollified Chloé somewhat, or at the very least, stopped her from complaining. When they reached the door, Marinette plowed into Alya at high speed. Nino grabbed Alya’s shoulders to steady her and Adrien quickly grabbed Marinette by the arm as she ricocheted off her friend.  
  
“Are you alright?” he asked worriedly.  
  
Marinette froze as they locked eyes. She hadn’t expected to come face to face with Adrien so quickly and his beautiful green eyes were boring into hers with heartfelt concern. She couldn’t move under the weight of his gaze, and even if she could, she would just malfunction.  
  
Adrien felt the urge to scoop Marinette up in a hug, the way he’d done with Ladybug. He’d been so worried. It was always terrible when his classmates were harmed by akuma; some had probably even died before, like when _Chronogirl_ stole people’s energy or when _Le Bulleur_ sent them into space. But the mental image of sweet Marinette suffering such a violent death as being sliced to ribbons by giant knives or crushed under a fallen building had him sick to his stomach. Even the knowledge that the cure spell would have revived her hadn’t eased his concern until she was right there in front of him. But as he looked into her wide blue eyes, he knew there was no way he could explain his relief. So, aside from the hand that still supported her arm, he kept his hands to himself and didn’t move. Until Alya jostled him out of the way as she flew towards her best friend.  
  
“Marinette!” Alya cried, hugging her fiercely.  
  
The moment ruined, Marinette snapped back to reality and her mission at hand. “Alya! Where have you been?” she scolded, hoping that by turning the tables and pretending to be angry she could avoid more questions. “You suddenly ran off! I looked all over for you! I tried to call you but my phone broke when it got stepped on in the stampede to get out the door. I’ve been looking for you ever since they lifted the barricade.” She held her phone out and waved it for emphasis.  
  
“Didn’t your phone get fixed along with everything else when Ladybug used her spell? Why didn’t you call me after?” Alya asked, somewhere between exasperation and amusement.  
  
“I— _euh_ , didn’t think of that...”  
  
Alya sighed and settled for amusement, putting her arm around her friend’s neck as they resumed walking. “You had us worried; we thought you were in the hotel when the top floors came down.”  
  
“I was,” Marinette admitted to gasps of concern from everyone but Chloé. “But nothing really happened inside! You could feel some rumbling, like an earthquake, but I wasn’t near any of the windows that shattered so there wasn’t any damage to where I was. So I, _euh_ , just ran out a back door as soon as I could before, y’know, something else happened.”  
  
“You could have died! I was so worried,” Alya exhaled.  
  
“Then next time don’t go running off into danger on your own,” Marinette offered.  
  
“Fine. That’ll go for the both of us,” Alya agreed and the two shook pinky fingers.  
  
Nino and Adrien smiled at each other over the exchange. Everything was working out great in the end.  
  
“I wonder if we missed anything interesting in school,” Adrien wondered aloud.  
  
“Impossible,” said Chloé.  
  
Sabrina jolted to attention as she remembered something she had meant to tell her friend. Wringing her hands together nervously, she cautiously began, “ _Euh_ , Chloé, about school… there’s something you should know…”  
  
The two boys startled and looked at each other in unison before pushing Marinette and Alya forward urgently. “Run!” Nino warned them and the four friends took off running as Chloé’s shouts of rage exploded from behind.  
  
“ _WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘EVERYBODY KNOWS?’_ ”

 

 

“ _’…It was confirmed that the akuma that brought down two stories_ of Le Grand Paris, _Chef de Fer, was the result of a dispute among unnamed hotel staff… further details have not been disclosed…’_ ” Nino read aloud, as he scrolled through _The Ladyblog_ on his phone. “This is good. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you didn’t have the information, rather than that you were withholding it.”  
  
“Thanks,” said Alya, amused. “No one else really got the full coverage, so it wasn’t hard to blend in.”  
  
It was the day after the attack and Alya, Nino, and Adrien were sitting at their desks at school, waiting for class. Alya had pointed out that she had to publish _something_ about the akuma since it was such a big story—a building had nearly come down, after all—and it would draw attention if she refused to cover it. She had published her take on the akuma later that day and the next morning Afaitu’s version had been released, revealing it to be similarly vague. It was titled _Knife to Meet You_ , and Adrien was positively destroyed that he had missed the chance to use such a brilliant line. A few news outlets had included witness accounts that the akuma had been after the mayor, but he declined to comment so any speculation that he had caused the transformation came to nothing.  
  
“Look—not late two days in a row!” Marinette announced as she strode proudly into the room.  
  
“Be still my heart! Nino, am I dreaming?” Alya swooned, hand fluttering to her forehead.  
  
“If you are, then I am,” Nino teased, similarly dramatic. “Adrien and Marinette on time two days in a row? It must be an akuma!”  
  
“An akuma! But of course!”  
  
“Har har,” Marinette rolled her eyes and sat down. “I just wanted to say that I liked your blog post.”  
  
“Well, I, for one, hated it!” Chloé interrupted, arms folded in annoyance as usual.  
  
“Did you even read it?” asked Adrien flatly. Chloé may have been upset about how things turned out, but he was pretty sure she was just as big a fan of _The Ladyblog_ as he was.  
  
“I didn’t have to, to know that it was just as worthless as the rest of her blog,” Chloé scoffed. “Playing at being a journalist, it’s so stupid. I don’t know anyone who takes it seriously.”  
  
Alya was about to respond when Marinette stood up in her seat and glared down at Chloé. “Do you _mind_ , Chloé? I haven’t been akumatized yet and I hear your ‘unpleasantness’ is contagious. You should really stop tormenting people by forcing them to endure your presence.”  
  
Chloé spluttered in indignation before storming off in a huff. Several of their classmates burst into laughter.  
  
“You’re the best,” Alya smirked and offered her friend a high five.  
  
“That was awesome,” Nino wiped a tear from his eye and did the same.  
  
Marinette smiled at the praise and started when she realized Adrien was holding up his hand as well. They looked at each other shyly for a second before Marinette, beaming, clapped their hands together for a high five.

 

 

 

**WHAT THE HAWK?!**

 

And now it’s time for a section I like to call, _What the Hawk?!_ Where I explain the French things I’ve bombarded you with so you’re less confused, my poor, English-speaking audience. I mean, you could Google it yourself, but let’s face it; you’re not gonna.

 

All that trouble of introducing an OC and he’s not even the akuma. Afaitu is a Tahitian name, if that gives you a better idea of what he looks like. His last name means January in French.

 

 _Chef de Fer_ is “Iron Chef” in French, in reference to the TV chef battles by the same name. If she were a villain in the actual show, they’d definitely just call her Iron Chef in the dub. The name’s punny enough on its own. I originally didn’t want to do another chef villain and played with other ideas for Marlena. I considered making her an iguana or a floral-themed akuma, in reference to old names for the island of Martinique (where the Césaire family is from) but I couldn’t tie them into the story. I even considered giving her “mom powers” but I couldn’t think of a good enough mom pun for the name. So I settled on a chef whose powers are more related to chef tools, rather than food. Her costume design is based off a Gundam, by the way.

 

So in French, _Mère_ is mother, _Maman_ is mom, so what is “ _Manman_?” It’s “mom” in Creole. Martiniquan Creole, specifically, but other forms of Creole use it too from what I can tell. I thought it would be cute/fun if Alya called her mother that.

 

Speaking of Creole, some of the phrases Chef de Fer uses are originally Martiniquan idioms.

 _L’argent fait danser les chiens_ translates to “money makes the dogs dance” in English (I have the Creole translation, as well, but I doubt any of you care). It’s a phrase that means “money can do anything,” basically. Obviously, I exchanged _chiens_ (dogs) for _chats_ (cats) because cat puns.

 _Raison pour le chien, raison pour le chat_ is more or less “reason for the dog, reason for the cat” in English. The phrase means that “there’s justice for everyone.” I left it in French because I feel the meaning is easier to discern in French and doesn’t translate as well in English.

 

When she finds out about the article, Chloé yells “ _tu blague!"_ which means “you’re kidding!” in English. But while the English connotation is more casual and lighthearted, “tu blague” as in interjection can be used in an angrier, “you can’t be serious!” or “surely thou jest!” kind of way.

 

 _Ben_ and _euh_ are both French vocal pauses; basically, “um, err, uh, etc.”

 _Allô_ Is how the French answer phones; an alternate form of “hello.”

 

You may remember “ _Par le Fer!_ ” as the catchphrase and motto of _le Chevalier Noir,_ or Darkblade, as they called him in English. The phrase literally translates as “by the iron!” which doesn’t make a lot of sense to English speakers but the “iron” here refers to the sword. If you think about how in medieval times “sword” and “steel” could be used almost interchangeably (“live by the steel; die by the steel”) it makes more sense. Just a different metal. The joke here is that Chat Noir is using a sword fighting phrase (and making a throwback to his teacher) and a pun on the “Fer” in Chef de Fer.

 

 _Peuh!_ Is a general noise of derision, which my dictionary likes to translate as “Pshaw!”

 _Toc toc!_  is “knock knock!” and “rat” in French is _rat_ so the _ratatouille_  joke stands.

 _Champignon_ means “mushroom” and also sounds like _champion_ (champion). 

I wanted to use the word “eek” for Chat Noir but the French don’t have an equivalent noise of surprise/fear. _Houlá_ means “yikes” so I went with that.

 _Coucou_ literally means “cuckoo” but it’s also what the French say when playing “peekaboo” or just a cute way to say “hi” or “heya!”


	2. Electric Bugaboo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I had the first two chapters written before I joined archive. I'm still writing chapter 3, so don't get too excited for the release. As many of you have pointed out, these are long chapters. I am a fast typer but a slow writer.
> 
> Content Alert: This chapter contains LGBTQ+ content. If that bothers you, ~~you're obviously not from tumblr~~ maybe skip this chapter. It also contains LGBTQ+ discrimination; please read at your own discretion. 
> 
> Also, please note the explanatory _What the Hawk?!_ segment has been moved from the end notes to the just the end of the main chapter text. It was too long... by a lot...

Letting Plagg navigate had been a mistake. Adrien had had to wait a full two days before he had time in his schedule to sneak out and visit the mysterious “Master Fu.” He originally wanted to go as Chat Noir, but Plagg had casually informed him of the alarming news that this Fu person already knew his real identity; also pointing out that it would be easier to guide him if Plagg wasn’t in his Miraculous. Adrien didn’t know what to make of the situation (Plagg was too lazy to explain properly no matter how much cheese Adrien stuffed him with) but he was sure they were in the wrong place when their first stop was a cheese vendor. He reluctantly stocked up on more camembert under the agreement that Plagg would take him straight to Fu with no more detours. So when they arrived at what appeared to be a small Chinese massage parlor, Adrien was sure that they weren’t where they needed to be.

“Plagg, where are we?” Adrien glared at his kwami.

“Fu’s shop.”

“Are you sure? This better not be another detour,” Adrien warned.

“Don’t be such a rich boy. Even the Guardian of the Miraculouses needs to pay the bills,” Plagg chided, bopping Adrien on the nose repeatedly with his tiny paw. “But if you still doubt me—here, I’ll show you.” Before Adrien could react, his kwami floated over and phased through the door.

“PLAGG!” Adrien yelled quietly and instinctively yanked the door open. Plagg was sitting openly in the middle of the massage mat across the room. Luckily, there didn’t seem to be anyone there to witness the strange magical creature. Adrien snuck silently into the room towards his kwami. “What are you doing? Hide yourself!” Adrien whispered as he grabbed at Plagg. Plagg jumped above his hands and bounced around the mat as Adrien scrambled to catch him. “Plagg! Cut it out! What do you think you’re doing?”

“I could ask you the same question. Most people knock before entering someone else’s home.”

Adrien spun around in shock as a small, elderly Chinese man materialized behind him holding a steaming cup of tea. Where had he come from? Adrien was sure no one had been in the room—could he have been hiding behind the bamboo panels? Before Adrien could figure out how to explain himself, the old man’s face lit up in a smile.

“I’m kidding, of course. While knocking _is_ the polite thing, even these old eyes can see Plagg up to his old tricks again.”

“You—you know Plagg?” Adrien stuttered. “Then you must be…”

“Master Fu,” Master Fu finished. “And you are Chat Noir, here to join us at last. Good; you’re late. I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come and you’re behind enough as it is.”

“Behind? Behind on What? And how do you know who I am?” Adrien asked as Plagg flew up to greet Fu.

“Before we begin the long and tiresome explanations, I don’t suppose you’ve prepared anything for me?” Plagg prodded sweetly, turning his large head to the side in imitation of a real cat.

Fu chuckled. “Camembert, wasn’t it? Wayzz, would you be kind enough to fetch some for him?” he added, looking somewhere behind Adrien.

“Yes, Master.”

Adrien turned around to see a small green turtle floating above the gramophone on the chest of drawers behind him. “Is that—another kwami?” Adrien gasped as Wayzz flew past him and through the wall to the next room.

“His name is Wayzz. He is the kwami of one of the many other Miraculouses besides yours and Ladybug’s,” Master Fu replied, holding up his bracelet. “In fact, he is mine.”

Adrien looked in amazement at the bracelet and then back at Fu. “You’re a Miraculous holder?”

Fu chuckled good-naturedly. “Is it so hard to believe for you young people? I’ve been the holder of this Miraculous and the Grand Guardian of the rest of them for over a century. It was I who chose you and Ladybug to wield the powers you now possess.”

“You?” Adrien repeated, astounded, as Wayzz returned with the cheese and a tea tray with snacks. “Why—but—thank you!”

“You needn’t thank me,” Fu laughed again. “You did earn it. Now before I begin answering your questions, there is a matter we must discuss.” Fu gestured to Adrien, who sat eagerly on the edge of the massage mat. Fu walked around the mat to the chest of drawers. Adrien couldn’t see what he was doing, but when he turned around Master Fu was holding a large, leather-bound book with a familiar golden design on the cover.

“The book!” Adrien exclaimed and jumped to his feet. “I looked everywhere for it! Where did you—How did you—?”

Fu grinned mischievously. “Ladybug stole it.”

“ _LADYBUG_?” Adrien’s head was reeling. _The_ Ladybug stole from him? When did she take it? Had she been following him? “It couldn’t be—that day in the park, _that_ is what she was there for?”

“Her kwami recognized it for what it was. This book is extremely old and valuable. It details the secrets of the Miraculouses and is written in a code only I can decipher. It’s been missing for quite a long time.”

“Then this is the book Ladybug mentioned in her message to Chat Noir,” Adrien reasoned. “Wait—her _kwami_ recognized it? Plagg, why didn’t you say something if it was that important?”

Plagg looked up from his diminishing pile of cheese and shrugged, not the least bit interested. “I did say it looked familiar.”

“Plagg!” Wayzz scolded.

Fu, on the other hand, laughed. “See, Wayzz? What did I tell you?”

“You’re lucky Tikki saw it,” Wayzz shook his head. “There’s no telling how long you would have just sat around with it. Your memory is only good when it comes to cheese.”

Plagg responded by stuffing an entire wedge of camembert in his mouth and smiling wide to reveal a cheese grin.

“Plagg, that’s disgusting,” Adrien complained as the kwami swallowed loudly.

“We’re getting off topic,” Fu interjected. “As I said, this book has been missing for quite some time. Imagine my surprise when Ladybug told me she took it from one Adrien Agreste.”

Adrien went quiet as he let the words sink in.

“Where did you get it?”

“From my father,” Adrien admitted. “Actually, we took it without permission, me and Plagg. He’s been looking for it but we took it out of a safe he kept it in. He doesn’t even know I know about it, so I… I don’t know where he got it.” Adrien’s stomach was a pit of nerves. Was he being interrogated? Would Master Fu think his father stole the book? _Did_ his father steal the book? What would that mean? It _was_ super weird that he kept it in a secret safe behind the portrait of his mother. Would Master Fu want him to ask his father where he got it? That would mean admitting to taking it in the first place. There was no way this was going to end well for him.

Master Fu looked at him cryptically for a moment before smiling widely. “Ah, your dad, of course! I figured as much but I needed to be sure.”

Adrien let out the breath he didn’t remember holding. “You figured… So, it’s not a problem that he had it?” he couldn’t tell if he was more surprised or relieved.

“Well, of course it’s a problem that he had it—that _anyone_ besides me had it,” Fu said as he settled himself down comfortably on one end of the mat, placing the book out in front of him. “But I suppose we should be grateful he picked it up so that fate could bring it home again.”

He gestured for Adrien to resume his seat and he did so, eager to hear more.

“It does not surprise me that your father had it,” Fu continued casually. “As I said, this book is _very_ old—ancient, in fact. Not to mention, it’s one of a kind. Even if no one could decipher the code, a book like this makes a fabulous collector’s item. Someone would have to pay a hefty price for it, and if anyone had the means, it would be your father. Now, if you’d gotten it in a library or from a man with a butterfly brooch, then I’d be worried.”

Adrien still felt relieved but one thing was bothering him. “But my father doesn’t collect rare books. Why would he have this one?”

“Inspiration for a new fashion line?” Fu suggested. “Maybe it was a gift. You could always ask him, if you’re curious.”

Like hell. That was the last thing he wanted to do. “It was probably one of those,” he replied awkwardly, not meeting Fu’s eyes.

Master Fu clapped his hands in front of him. “Now, with that out of the way, we can turn to our real business.”

“What’s that?” Adrien asked, surprised.

“Now, now,” Fu chuckled, running his hand along his goatee in amusement. “You didn’t think I called you here just to ask you where you found the book?”

Kind of.

“As the Great Guardian, it is my duty to teach you the secrets of the Miraculouses and help you defeat Papillon and return his Miraculous to me, so that I can free Nooroo and he can be cleansed of evil. I see you don’t have any study materials with you today, so we shall save the lessons for another day. For now, I will give you a precursory explanation and answer as many of your questions as I can.”

“Study materials?” Adrien repeated. “There’s that much to teach? I have a lot of questions. Do I need to write the answers down?

“Calm yourself,” Fu chuckled. “Today’s questions will be more of an overview to catch you up to Ladybug with the basics. You won’t need to write anything down until later.”

Adrien frowned and persisted. “When is later? Today was the first day I was able to sneak away, what if I can’t come very often? You said I’m falling behind; I don’t want to disappoint Ladybug.”

Fu stroked his beard thoughtfully. There was little chance Ladybug of all people would hold him accountable for lack of knowledge in an area she was barely paying attention to—but he had a point. “You’re not too far behind, you needn’t panic. But I understand your schedule is a little tighter than Ladybug’s. We can schedule in advance; it seems I’ll need to give your lesson timeslots greater priority than Ladybug’s. Hers can be adjusted easily. Sessions are typically arranged as often as possible around your civilian obligations and can last for as many hours as you’re prepared to give.” In Marinette’s case, the longest she’d lasted was four consecutive hours before crashing. “When are you next available?”

“I’m available now,” Adrien said eagerly. “I’m free until this evening. I can run and get some study materials right now, if you’d like. Will I just be needing pencil and paper or will there be calculations or a reading list?”

“Hmm,” Fu said as he appraised the determined youngster before him. “Very well, since you are behind. I was supposed to meet with Ladybug today but I suppose I can reschedule.” He pulled out his phone to contact Marinette. He had a feeling she’d be delighted.

“You have Ladybug’s phone number?” Adrien gaped.

“As does Chat Noir,” Fu pointed out, holding out his phone to see the screen better.

Adrien glanced down and mumbled, “Only for her yoyo. It doesn’t work if she’s not transformed.”

“Yes, I have her civilian number,” admitted Fu, trying not to smile. “And no, you can’t have it. It’s not listed under ‘Ladybug’ either, so don’t even try to sneak a peek at my phone; it’s under a false name and the phone itself is password protected.”

“I wasn’t going to—”

Fu chuckled again as he fiddled with the buttons on his old flip phone. “I’ll be needing your contact information as well. And Adrien?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Pencil and paper will be fine.”

It took Adrien a second to recognize the dismissal, mind still on Ladybug, but he jumped up eagerly. “I’ll be right back! C’mon, Plagg!” he added, grabbing his kwami as he bounded for the door.

“But I still have cheese left—” Plagg’s complaints faded into the distance.

“This pair gets more interesting the more I see them,” Fu laughed to himself as Wayzz floated over.

“Is it all right to just let him go like that, Master?” the turtle asked worriedly. “You suspected that Papillon would be the one in possession of the book since he knew of its secrets. If the boy’s father was the one who had it, isn’t there a good chance he’s Papillon? Shouldn’t we warn him?”

“Adrien is vulnerable in his home. If the two of them begin to suspect each other for their true identities, the boy would have no place to hide. And Ladybug and Chat Noir are not ready to take on Papillon yet. I do not wish to put him in danger.  I also do not wish to put such a heavy burden on him without more proof that his father is an enemy. You and I will keep an eye on our suspect. For now, we teach.”

 

 

 

Marinette’s phone sounded, startling her awake and causing her to fall out of bed. “Oh no! Am I late? What am I late for? What did I miss?” she glanced around wildly, caught somewhere between high alert and half asleep. She’d been up late preparing for her Miraculous history lesson and had slept in since there was no school that day.

Tikki glided over to her phone and looked at the screen. “It’s a text from Master Fu,” she announced. “He’s canceled your lessons today in favor of teaching Chat Noir.”

“Canceled? Thank goodness!” Marinette sighed, disappearing behind the bed as she collapsed in upon herself. “I’ll actually get a day to myself!”

“It’s a shame about the lesson,” Tikki said, floating over to hover above Marinette’s sprawled form. “But I’m glad Chat Noir finally showed up. Master Fu was getting worried!”

“I knew he’d show up eventually. I was more concerned that he hadn’t understood my message. More importantly,” Marinette beamed up at her kwami. “What should I do with my day off? Alya, Rose, and Juleka aren’t coming over until after lunch.” Her friends were coming to study for an upcoming test but with her sudden free time she could do something fun for once.

“You could take the time to study!  Master Fu is expecting you to memorize the historical figures as much as possible. If you start now, there will be less to absorb later,” Tikki suggested cheerfully.

“Oh… yeah… I suppose…” Marinette agreed halfheartedly. Her normal method of “reviewing” her notes was to type them up and organize them in a way that made sense. She usually had to write so much so fast that her handwriting was hardly legible and she often had to resort to awkward shorthand. Even if she tried to format as she went along, it was difficult to maintain and Master Fu went on a fair number of tangents. It was impossible to keep related information together. And when he did digress from his main topic, Marinette could never tell if Fu was telling her something useful and related, he’d forgotten to mention something, or he was just getting off topic until he’d finished talking and moved on to the next thing. Picking through her notes and organizing them in a linear fashion was helping her keep things relatively straight but she hadn’t sat down and fully committed to studying her revised notes. Truth be told, having just spent the previous night going through pages and pages of notes, reading them again was the last thing she wanted to do. Tikki had a point, though, so she settled for a compromise.

“I have an idea,” Marinette declared as she sat up. “Why don’t I call the girls and see if they can come over sooner? That way, we can study for the math test until I’m sick of numbers and formulas and when they leave I can switch to studying the Miraculous history. That way, I can keep studying for longer by switching subjects.” And if she had any luck at all, her friends would stay to hang out after they were done studying and she could keep putting off the boring stuff.

“A great idea! Whatever helps you study,” agreed Tikki.

“Great! I’ll go get ready and have breakfast and call them over.”

An hour later, her friends arrived and they immediately got down to studying. Alya claimed the chaise longue, so Marinette and Juleka took the desk chairs and Rose sprawled out on the floor. They were going strong for a few hours, huddled around Marinette’s room, until Rose noticed the unthinkable.

“Oh, no! We’re out of snacks!” she cried, reaching her hand into the empty box of cookies.

“Is it lunchtime yet?” asked Alya, stretching. “I could use a few dozen croissants.”

“It might as well be. I give up! I can’t possibly look at another number for as long as I live!” Marinette declared as she flopped dramatically over the back of her chair.

“No, don’t give up yet!” Rose encouraged, sounding very much like Tikki (who was hiding on Marinette’s bed). “You’ve made so much progress!”

Juleka looked over Marinette’s shoulder at her work. “No, she’s right. She needs a break. I think she’s getting worse.”

“Bah! This is hopeless!” Marinette sighed.

“Well, I think we’ve all earned a break,” Alya declared, sitting up and holding out a piece of paper. “I finished grading your practice test, Juleka; you got 100%.”

“How wonderful!” Rose cheered while at the same time Marinette whipped around in her chair and gaped at Juleka.

“WHAT? Give me your brain!”

Juleka wheeled her chair over to the chaise longue and grabbed her test from Alya. “Even _my_ brain needs to study.”

The other two giggled at Marinette, who continued pouting. “What time is it anyway, if we’re thinking of breaking for lunch?”

Alya glanced at her phone. “It’s about a quarter to one—close enough, I’d say.”

“We probably still have some time. Knowing my parents, they’ve prepared a grand lunch for us. They’re probably still cooking. I can check what time they’ll be ready—”

Alya’s phone pinged for the umpteenth time since she’d arrived. “Awesome! My energy’s refilled!”

“Energy?” repeated Juleka.

“What’s been going on with you and your phone for a while now?” Marinette asked, walking over to her friend. Alya’s phone had been sending her multiple alerts that would cause her to stop what she was doing and look at the screen only to put it down again, declaring “It’s not important,” or “It can wait.” Initially, they thought it had been texts from Nino but Alya’s text alert made a different noise.

“It’s this new app,” Alya explained sheepishly. “It’s one of those dumb phone games. Nino made me get it so I could send him supplies but now I’m hooked on it. I’ve got notifications turned on so when a building finishes construction or supplies are made or Nino sends me a request, I get notified right away.”

Her friends couldn’t help but laugh as she went from a bashful admittance of a guilty pleasure to an excited reverence for her new favorite thing. “Why the urgency?” chuckled Marinette.

“To beat Nino!” Alya declared passionately, raising her fist in solemnity. “Since he started before me, he’s way ahead of me. But I intend to catch up and make my town _way_ better than his. Also, because this game is addicting. I’d play it all the time but you only get so much energy for tasks before you’re out and you have to wait until it refills, which is stupid, but at the same time I get it. You’d have to pay for the game otherwise and it keeps players occupied between updates. Look,” she held up her phone and the others gathered around her. “It’s called _TownWorld_ —I’m pretty sure it was made in the US but you can play it in French. The goal is to make a town—the coolest town; whatever town you want—and make it totally your own. You can decorate it with whatever you want but the goal is to get useful buildings that make supplies to build your economy so you can make more buildings and get more people to move to your town. I am Mayor Alya of ‘Ladybugville.’ You can swap supplies with and visit the towns of your friends—see, this is Nino’s town, Ninotopia—and here you see how many citizens I have and how much money my town has and—look! My restaurant has finished!” She tapped on a check mark floating above what looked like a boarded up construction site. The construction walls fell down and a 50s diner-looking building appeared from beneath the smoke.

“That’s cool,” Rose said encouragingly.

“But watch this!” Alya singsonged, holding down her finger on the restaurant’s image until a screen popped up declaring she had no items ready or in the making. She clicked the button below that that said _Open_ and after a brief loading screen featuring a happy cartoon chef flipping plates into the air and a stressed cartoon waitress trying to catch them on platter, the screen showed what appeared to be the inside of the restaurant. “What’s different about this game is that each building is a minigame and that’s how you earn experience and materials. The materials are used to make the supplies you need for the buildings. You can play as many minigames as you want, but every time you lose, it takes up some of your energy. You can also customize the look of the buildings to some extent.” She clicked on a paintbrush icon in the corner and opened the customize area, tapping around on various items in the restaurant to see her options.

“Ooh! Do pink walls!” begged Rose.

“How is the paper money different than the coins?” Juleka asked, pointing to line on the screen where it showed the price of changing the items. Some of the numbers featured the coin symbol Alya had described as the game’s currency and others had a stack of green bills.

“The paper money is more valuable because it’s harder to get. You get 15 to start with and I’ve earned exactly two more since I started. It’s meant to be purchased with real money to get ahead in the game by skipping timers or get special items. If I save up without paying real money, I’ll eventually be able to buy cheaper things, like this ugly chicken clock. Or this super cool dinosaur lamp for 50 bills, if I’m willing to wait forever.”

Alya chattered on about the game’s workings before she returned to the restaurant and clicked on the chef to launch the minigame. After a brief tutorial, she started level one, her friends cheering her on as her waitress avatar caught plates raining from the sky.

They were having so much fun watching her that they lost track of time until Sabine Dupain-Cheng popped her head out from the trapdoor. “How’s studying going, girls?”

They all looked up guiltily as Alya quickly hid her phone behind her back.

“Ah! Good!” Marinette fumbled. “We were just thinking of taking a quick break…”

Her mother smiled knowingly. “Perfect timing, then. Lunch is ready!”

“Excellent!” exclaimed Alya.

“Thank you!” said Rose. Juleka mumbled something that was probably also “thank you.”

They all headed eagerly down the stairs, Alya tap, tap, tapping on her phone as she quickly assigned her town tasks to work through while she was forced to put her phone down to eat. “You guys should totally get this game and send me stuff,” she suggested. “It’s super fun and there’s a good variety of minigames and building a town totally lets you fulfill any God Complex fantasies.”

“That does sound fun,” Juleka agreed before Marinette could ask why Alya assumed they all had God Complex fantasies.

They had a nice lunch before returning, stuffed, to Marinette’s room. Rose declared she’d have to save the macarons she’d bought for today’s _goûter_ for another day. They redoubled their efforts in studying and focused on their weak points, her friends giving the struggling Marinette extra attention. When Rose pointed out she should be using a formula that they’d learned in class (and Marinette had missed for superhero reasons) it got a lot easier to understand. By three o’clock, the girls declared success and the study group dispersed, dashing Marinette’s hope for an out on her promise with Tikki. Rose had promised her mom to help with something after finding out Marinette had rescheduled and Juleka was headed to the library.

“Et tu, Alya?” Marinette asked with semi-sarcastic despair.

“I’m afraid so, girl,” Alya giggled. “Nino’s texted me a SOS. He forgot his science textbook and just realized he hasn’t done the homework yet. He can’t get ahold of Adrien so I’m his only hope.”

“Fine. I’ll be here studying if you think of something super fun you need my help with.”

“More studying? You’re going to fry your brain out and forget everything.”

“I’m switching subjects. I’m just trying to stay afloat of everything.”

“We’ll make a good student of you yet,” Alya teased. “I’ll call you if there’s a fun emergency. Later!”

“Later!” Marinette waved. When they were alone she added sadly, “Well, Tikki. I guess I have no choice. I’d better get to it.”

“All your hard work will pay off in the end!” Tikki praised.

Marinette just sighed and slumped off to her desk to get to work. A whole day of studying and doing homework. She almost wished there was an akuma.

 

 

 

 

Adrien flopped down on his bed and stared up wondrously at the ceiling. He had left Fu’s shop in time to have dinner alone without his father again. He hadn’t minded the absence. It gave him more time to think. There was so much he hadn’t known—so many questions answered and today was just a hint of what Master Fu had to teach him. Part of him wished he had gone sooner, but another part of him knew he wouldn’t have had as much time if he had snuck out the previous days.

Plagg hovered into his vision, looking bored.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?” Adrien asked.

“What? Boring stories and history lessons? No one wants to hear about that.”

Adrien propped up on his elbows. “Not just that, you didn’t tell me anything about Papillon or any of the other Miraculouses.”

“There was no reason to,” Plagg blinked his enormous green eyes. “Master Fu wasn’t appointing anymore Miraculous holders and I told you all I know about Papillon; he’s corrupting his powers in order to steal your and Ladybug’s Miraculouses.”

“But there _was_ a reason! I never knew there were other superheroes! If I had known about them, things could have been different. Like with Volpina.”

“Volpina claimed to have a Fox Miraculous, though she didn’t know the term. If you had known there was such a thing, you would have just believed her more. You might even have exposed your true identity to her.”

Adrien couldn’t deny that. He had no idea what he would have said or done if Ladybug hadn’t interrupted. He would like to think he wouldn’t have given himself up that easily, although he wasn’t the one who insisted on secret identities between heroes. That was Ladybug. And now Master Fu. He just remembered being so excited to think that there were more superheroes other than the two of them (turns out there were seven). He might have exposed his identity in some hapless effort to recruit her.

Thinking back on the conversation, he remembered something. “But… Lila told me she had inherited the necklace and that it was passed down in her family. But that’s not how it works. If you had told me properly about the other Miraculouses and how we were chosen, I wouldn’t have had to know that Master Fu still has the Fox Miraculous to know she was lying.”

“If you like,” said Plagg. “But that’s all ifs. What you would have done is irrelevant to what happened.”

“But you never tell me anything!” Adrien complained, sitting up and gesticulating for emphasis. “Even explaining my powers, you did a half-assed job. You were too busy looking for food.”

“Explanations are tedious and best left to those like Fu who enjoy them. And I seem to recall you being too eager to try out your powers to listen.” Plagg retorted as he settled in Adrien’s palm.

“But you knew everything… you were there. You heard Lila lie about the Miraculous. You knew she was lying, didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“First of all, you should never assume I’m listening to your conversations. While it’s usually entertaining listening to the girls fall all over you, that girl was particularly irritating.”

“Plagg!”

“I knew,” the kwami admitted simply. “She put the necklace on in front of you. Her kwami should have appeared but I couldn’t sense Trixx’s presence. While it was a surprisingly close imitation, it was just an ordinary necklace.”

“You should have said something!”

“I wasn’t about to reveal myself in front of an imposter. And there wasn’t a lot of time. Ladybug showed up and then she became an akuma immediately after. You need to let the incident with the girl go. You couldn’t have changed the outcome except to have made things worse.”

Adrien let out a frustrated growl and flopped onto his back again, unable to dispute his kwami’s reasoning. Plagg flew down and landed on his forehead, peering down into Adrien’s eyes.

“Is the tantrum over, M. Diva? Or do you have more things to blame me for?”

“You’re right, Plagg. I can’t change what happened with Lila. I’m sorry,” Adrien sighed. “Just please promise me you’ll tell me things I need to know from now on.”

“No.”

“What? What do you mean no?” Adrien glowered.

“You have Master Fu for that.”

And with that, Plagg floated off, evidently bored of the conversation. Adrien sighed again. Talking about this stuff with Plagg was useless. Who he really wanted to talk to was Ladybug. She must be just as excited to learn about the secrets of the Miraculouses as he was. She was so smart she must have a fascinating take on things he hadn’t even considered. He wondered if he caught up if they could take lessons together. He wanted so badly for her to be here and for them to talk about this and the things they had in common. They were the only two in the world who truly understood each other. They were meant for each other. He loved her so much. But he never got to see her outside of battles.

He smiled to himself just thinking of her. Then he rolled over to the side of his bed and grabbed the notebook with his Miraculous lessons. He rolled onto his stomach and began flipping through the pages again, absorbing as much as he could. His head was swimming with so much exciting new information and thoughts of Ladybug he wasn’t sure how he would ever sleep tonight.

 

 

 

Adrien barely let the car stop before he was out of his seat and rushing out the door. His father had made him meet with a client this morning. Since his father didn’t leave the house much, the client had been invited to the house so Gabriel Agreste could show off his charming son. His father had considered the new contract that inevitably formed to be worth the chance of missing part of his silly public school, unaware of Adrien’s already dismal attendance record. Luckily, Nathalie helped him escape in time so class hadn’t started yet, but he was once again running late. As the car had pulled up to the curb, Adrien hadn’t seen any other students milling about outside and he wondered if he was later than he thought.

But as Adrien waved goodbye and slammed the door on Nathalie’s safety admonishments, he realized he stood corrected; one student was outside. Marinette was rushing up the sidewalk towards him. They noticed each other at the same time and both stopped running in surprise—Marinette nearly toppling over as she hit the brakes too hard. She ungracefully recovered and walked awkwardly over to him with a sheepish smile on her face. He wondered if she was always late because she lived so close she didn’t have to leave until the last minute.

“H-hello, Adrien,” Marinette said through her stiff grin, waving hello in a jerky, unnatural fashion as she realized he had stopped to wait for her. _Dammit, Marinette, pull yourself together!_ After studying endlessly yesterday, even getting an advance on the homework for the rest of the week, she had gone to bed at a reasonable hour and actually gotten a full night’s sleep for once. She had been ready with plenty of time until her dad asked her to help him out quick with carrying a few trays. Long story short, her clumsiness kicked in and she ended up tripping and covered in flour. She was late having just run through a quick shower. She was hoping upon hope that she had gotten all the flour off, although at least she smelled nice.

His answering smile was like sunshine. “Hey, Marinette! How’re you?”

“Amazing,” she whispered as she melted from his mere presence. “That! Euh, me! I’m great. Totally awesome! And you’re awesome—I mean, you, how’re you?”

“Alright,” he smiled before pausing. Marinette stopped on baited breath. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”

“N-no! Not at all! Ask away!” Before her heart stopped.

“Well, I was thinking we were both about to get teased for our tardiness again and I was wondering why you’re late. For me, it’s usually work—but if you don’t want to tell me…” he hedged.

“Not at all, totes fine! I get it, when I live right across the street. Today I was helping my parents in the bakery when the flour—ben, euh, I mean, the hour. Euh, I lost track of the hour,” she babbled, hating herself a little. “Ah, but usually I just sleep in or forget something. It varies…”

He smiled but was too polite to laugh. She smiled back shyly, and fiddled with her bangs as they continued up the stairs to the school’s courtyard. “I guess unlike you, I don’t have a very good reason.” It was easier to get control of her mouth when he continuously failed to react when she made an idiot of herself.

“Maybe,” he teased. “Although, I could be better. I’m not exactly hurrying now, am I?”

She giggled.

Adrien was glad Marinette finally seemed to be relaxing. It always made him nervous when she seemed uncomfortable around him. Feeling more confident, he ventured, “But it’s worth it. I like talking to you, Marinette.”

She tripped on the top step. He managed to catch her before she face-planted on the concrete and gently helped her right herself. Still holding onto her for stability, Adrien was about to ask if she was ok when he noticed her face was crimson and she was avoiding looking at him. It made sense, given that she was probably embarrassed but it also occurred to him that he was a little close. Before he could let go, her eyes went wide, staring over his shoulder, and her jaw dropped.

“ _LADYBUG?_ ” Marinette gasped.

Adrien whirled around fast enough to give himself whiplash. “WHAT? WHERE?”

Both superheroes were thunderstruck to see a crowd gathered in their middle school courtyard around none other than Paris’s favorite super heroine. Adrien couldn’t believe his Lady would be hanging out here of all places. There didn’t seem to be any trouble; she was just smiling and waving and taking selfies with Chloé (which was unlike her to do willingly). Could she have come for him? Had Master Fu told her who Chat Noir really was and sent her to find him?

The most surprised, obviously, was Marinette; who was clearly standing next to Adrien and not way over there. Chat Noir had an imposter akuma. Was this hers? What did it want? What was it doing? This didn’t make any sense! She caught Adrien’s eye and it was clear they were both thinking the same thing. They immediately ran over to investigate.

“What’s going on?” Marinette asked as they approached the crowd.

“Ah! Marinette!” Alya’s head popped out among the sea of people and she shoved her way through the crowd over to them. “Come check this out! Oh? Did you two arrive together? That’s cute.” She dragged her friend closer to the imposter with Adrien following close behind.

Marinette and Adrien both gasped as they got closer. Up close, Ladybug had a strange, almost shimmery, holographic look to her.

“But this is…” Adrien began.

“A hologram! Amazing, no?” Alya said cheerfully, snapping pictures with her phone. “Pascal made it. It does whatever he wants.”

“Pascal?” Marinette asked, looking where Alya pointed.

A short boy with spikey hair and lightning bolt motifs buzzed into the side of his head was standing to the side of the hologram next to a laptop and some serious-looking machinery. He wore a strange getup with what appeared to be sensors strapped to various points of his body on his head, waist, arms, legs, and feet, as well as wiry looking gloves.

“One more! One more!” Chloé squealed, clearly having a grand old time. “Sabrina! Charlie’s Angels pose!”

Sabrina ran over and knelt down on one knee with her hands raised in a finger gun. Chloé did the same finger gun, although standing. Marinette watched as Pascal moved, turning to the side and pointing out dramatically with his finger gun, while Ladybug mimicked him. The resulting effect was a poster-ready picture of the Chloé, Sabrina, and Chloé’s personal hero in the iconic Charlie’s Angel pose.

“KIM! Take a picture!” Chloé commanded shrilly.

“That’s amazing!” Marinette cried, astonished.

“Told you,” Alya winked. “Go stand next to it before Chloé hogs it again! I want a picture of the two of you!”

“Euuuhhh…” Bad idea.

“Marinette! Just the girl I wanted to see,” Nino beamed, walking over and putting his arm around her shoulders.

“Me?”

Adrien, who was itching for his own picture with the fake Ladybug, paused. What was Nino doing? He was hugging his old crush in front of his current girlfriend, although Alya seemed far from caring.

“Yeah. Alya told you about _TownWorld_ , right? I just put in this new bakery and none of my citizens are eating there. I don’t understand it. I even made the outside this pretty pastel color but it’s all burgers and pizzas with these people. What should I do?”

“What?”

Alya rolled her eyes at him and flicked his arm off her friend. “Living in a real bakery isn’t the same as running a virtual one. She’s never even played this game before,” she chided before sliding her own arm around Marinette and adding, “But, speaking of, I need your help passing this level.”

“ _Me?_ You just said yourself that I’ve never played before!” Marinette argued.

“Bah, you’re good at videogames so you’ll be a natural. I’ve failed this level a million times and it’s driving me crazy.”

“Hey! No cheating!” Nino scolded.

“This hardware store level is impossible and I need the wood! Do you want me to send you hammers or not?”

“Seriously, you two?” Marinette asked, literally stuck between the two. “There’s an actual super cool hologram in front of you and you’re talking about this now?”

Adrien, who had already declined Nino’s offer to join the game, decided to take this opportunity to get a closer look at the hologram. The picture quality wasn’t perfect, although it seemed to be reasonably three-dimensional. The ground was strewn with cords connected to projectors placed in a circle with one large one in the middle that seemed to together be creating the hologram effect.  Everything about the look of the fake Ladybug seemed pretty perfect; from her beautiful face beneath the mask, to her pigtails, and even the texture of her suit. The height might have been off, but it was hard to tell with the projection floating slightly above the machinery. As he brought his face closer to stare into those beautiful blue eyes, Ladybug shifted her hand to her hip in a flirtatious pose, leaned in slightly, and gave a coy wink. Flustered, Adrien jumped back in surprise, causing Ladybug’s image to laugh silently as her original cracked up at the reaction his prank had received.

“Sorry, sorry. Couldn’t resist,” Pascal admitted, grinning. Looking closer, he had orange dots stuck to his face as well.

“No harm done,” Adrien conceded, although his heart might have stopped momentarily. “You made this? This is truly amazing! My Name’s Adrien—”

Pascal (and Ladybug who was still imitating his every move) raised his hand. “I know. Every girl in school knows you and your face is on posters everywhere. But thanks. I’m pretty happy with it too.”

“Seriously, amazing. How do you even go about creating a hologram? That’s seriously advanced technology!” Adrien asked eagerly.

“Super advanced!” Max cut in. “I’ve never even seen one that was so portable.”

“Well, if you could call this portable,” Pascal pointed out, amused, as he gestured to all the equipment and wires. “But there are some setups that do require a specific location to meet complicated requirements. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to build anything. My dad’s company actually made all the equipment. All I did was write a program to combine the image projection with live-action motion-capture software.”

“How old are you?” Max gaped.

Pascal laughed again. “I’m still in 5ème. Not bad, right? Oh, I also created the Ladybug figure. I modeled, textured, and rigged it all myself.”

Adrien had no idea what any of that meant but he was impressed. “That’s incredible. She’s perfect. Even up close, it looks just like she does in person.”

“In person?”

“Oh, euh, I had the pleasure of meeting her on a few occasions,” Adrien fumbled. “Akuma attacks and all that…” _And I’m Chat Noir so I see her often and try to get as close to her as possible when given the chance to memorize every perfect detail of her face because I’m hopelessly in love with her._

“Cool! Well, aside from the akuma attacks, I guess,” Pascal said. “I’m glad you think it looks convincing; I spent a lot of time working from photos I found online to get the body, face, and expressions just right. The textures took some work too. And the scale was difficult since I had to calculate it based on her height in respect to things she was standing next to.”

“That sounds hard,” Nino whistled.

“It’s really impressive. You did an amazing job,” Marinette said, meaning it. It had even fooled her from far away. It was a little eerie to see herself, though. And it was rather off-putting to watch it move while Pascal was talking and facing Adrien, as opposed to the motion capture camera. Virtual Ladybug was looking off into the distance and having a silent conversation with no one in particular.

Adrien pulled out his phone. “Hey, Nino—do you mind getting a picture of me with Ladybug?”

“Sure thing, bro.”

Nino took Adrien’s phone as he lined up for the shot, instinctively striking a casual model pose. Ladybug put one hand on her hip in a classic Ladybug hero pose, with the other held up in a peace sign. Marinette privately vowed to oblige him if he ever asked the real thing for a photo.

“Adorable. And one more for good measure.”

Adrien adjusted his pose slightly and behind him, Ladybug did the same. Out of the corner of his eye, Adrien suddenly realized a very realistic-looking Ladybug was leaning over, lips puckered, and miming planting a kiss on his cheek. His step faltered and he felt himself blushing in surprise as Nino took the picture. His classmates burst out laughing at his reaction (aside from Marinette; who also blushed, positive she would never have the nerves to do that, even as Ladybug).

“Again, sorry. Couldn’t resist,” chuckled Pascal, striking a flirty pose and winking again to make Ladybug do the same.

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. If he was this bad with a hologram, he could only imagine what would happen if the real thing ever flirted with him. Even the gentlest teases from his Lady usually made him melt and short circuit.

“Do you think you’ll make a Chat Noir version in the future?” Marinette asked, coming to Adrien’s rescue but also genuinely curious.

Adrien looked eagerly at Pascal, who just shrugged. “Bof, I dunno. I never really thought about it.” Adrien deflated. No love for the cat. “I really just created this project to fulfill a dream of mine.”

“What’s that?” asked Marinette.

Pascal grinned. “To be Ladybug! Ever since I first saw her I thought she was the most amazing person I’ve ever seen,” he turned and winked at Alya. “I’m probably _The Ladyblog’s_ biggest fan.”

Alya smiled back and Chloé crossed her arms. “Doubt it,” she scoffed, unintentionally voicing aloud what Adrien was thinking.

“Hey, not everyone can afford a custom-made Ladybug costume,” Pascal joked. “With my resources, this was the next best thing.”

Marinette failed to hide her snort. She usually tried so hard not to think about Chloé’s obsessive imitation of her, she’d forgotten that Chloé’s escapades had been caught on camera multiple times. Judging by the scandalized look on Chloé’s face, so had she.

“How did you know about that, you, you—you homo!” Chloé snarled, pointing savagely in his direction.

All chatter and laughter died as people stared at Chloé.

Pascal frowned. “What do you mean, ’homo?’ And everyone knows about that. There are pictures everywhere online—“

Chloé retracted her finger and regained her composure, an unpleasant smirk spreading across her face. “ _Si, si_ … That’s it, non? Isn’t a boy wanting to be Ladybug like totally gay?”

“Lots of people want to be Ladybug! Gender has nothing to do with it!” Pascal argued.

“But that’s not true at all, _hein_? You’re one of those translucents, aren’t you? Those trans—trans... thingys. What are they called? Sabrina!”

“Transsexuals!” Sabrina helpfully supplied.

“That’s right, _pédé!_ You’re just a dirty gay transsexual who doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Acting like you have a pure admiration for Ladybug. Does your Papa know what you’re using his machine for? Getting yourself off until you’re old enough for surgery.”

“Shut up! I’m not!” Pascal shouted, his eyes starting to tear up.

“That’s enough, Chloé!” yelled Adrien to jeers of approval. Several of their classmates called out similar objections as the bell for class rang.

“Ah, looks like the Tranny Show is over,” cackled Chloé. “Why can’t he just wear makeup like the rest of the gays? Not that anyone would want to see that.” She laughed cruelly at her own joke as she turned and walked away, Sabrina on her heels.

“If he’s a gay transsexual, does he like boys or girls?” Sabrina asked curiously as they headed up the stairs.

“What?” snapped Chloé.

“Well, transsexuals want to change their gender, so he’d be a girl—but being gay means you like people of the same gender. So if he’s gay, then he’d like boys, but if he became a girl, then a girl who likes boys is straight. But if he likes _girls_ —”

“Shut up, Sabrina.”

Nobody else said anything or even dared to move for a moment, even though the bell had rung. Pascal reached up to one of the bands on his arm and pulled out a small remote control. Wordlessly, he pointed it at the camera and pressed a button. The camera turned off and the Ladybug hologram blinked into what looked like a standby mode; posed legs apart, arms slightly out, away from the body, and a generic smile on her face. Pascal pointed the remote at the hologram projectors on the floor and turned those off too. He then, without looking at anyone, moved over to his laptop and began pressing keys. Awkwardly, the spectators began to file out; some patting him on his back or murmuring insults about Chloé.

When everyone had gone, Pascal finally looked up and realized one person remained. Marinette smiled awkwardly and walked over to him.

“I’m sorry about what happened,” she said kindly. “Chloé’s the worst. I’m in her class and she’s been horrible to me since the day I met her. I’m Marinette, by the way.”

Hesitant at first, Pascal nodded. “How do you put up with it?”

“Oh, complaining, imagining her cruel death, burying my sorrows in ice cream…” Marinette listed off semi-jokingly, remembering the days before Alya. “But I think having friends to support you is the best method of coping with any tough situation.”

Pascal glanced down at the floor and slipped the motion capture band off his head. He then silently went to work on his gloves and armbands.

“Everyone knows what Chloé’s like. She even had that article written about her a few days ago; about how awful she is to everyone.”

The corner of Pascal’s mouth twitched up at that. “I saw it,” he commented, starting on his legs and feet.

“That’s why no one listens to Chloé,” Marinette continued firmly. “You’re incredibly smart and talented, to be able to make something so amazing. Everyone knows that as well. That’s all anyone’s going to take away from your demonstration, even if Chloé did her best to ruin it. I can guarantee you nobody believed her lies. She only made herself look bad.”

“Maybe,” he said distractedly. He carefully placed his motion capture suit into a briefcase and grabbed a blank sheet of wax paper from a pocket.

“Trust me! No one’s going to gossip about or make fun of you,” Marinette declared and confidently raised her fist, adding, “And if they do, I’ll beat them up myself!”

That took him by surprise and earned her a startled laugh. “You?” Pascal asked, eyes crinkled in amusement.

“Hey, don’t count me out! I’m pretty strong, myself,” she teased, flexing and posing.

Still smiling, he pulled off one of the orange dots from his face and stuck it to the wax paper. “Thanks, but… you should probably get to class.”

Marinette waved her hand dismissively. “Who, me? I’m late all the time. They won’t miss me. What about you, though? Do you want help carrying your stuff? There’s quite a lot of it.”

“That’s really nice of you, but are you sure?”

“Positive! I can carry the camera or, or the projectors—I mean… I’ve tripped twice today; just give me whatever’s hardest to break,” she faltered, her admission earning her another surprised laugh.

Pascal peeled the last of the stickers off his face and put it back in the case. He closed it and held it up to Marinette. “How about this? Think you can handle it?” he teased.

“No problem!” she declared with enthusiasm.

“Well then, I’ll risk asking you to help me load the projectors on the cart and wind up their cords,” he gestured to the empty shelves on the computer cart his laptop was sitting on.

“Got it,” she agreed, walking over to the hologram projectors.

She had barely touched one of them when he warned, “That machine costs millions of euros; don’t drop it.” Marinette jumped back like it bit her and cracked Pascal up again. “If you’re too scared, you can just unplug the cords and coil them up.”

“Euh, I’ll start with that,” Marinette replied nervously.

The atmosphere was lighter as they worked silently to pack up his equipment but after a while something seemed to be weighing on Pascal’s mind again. He looked like he was struggling to decide if he should say something and eventually seemed to decide to trust her. “You really don’t think people care about the things she said?” he began cautiously.

“Of course not! Consider the source; Chloé doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” Marinette assured him.

He nodded nervously, sitting down on the ground as he seemed to be working up to what he really wanted to say. “But what if… she was right?”

Marinette stopped working and looked at him. He was avoiding her eye and nervously rubbing his arm where one of the straps had been. “Right about…?” she asked cautiously.

“About… about me,” he finally met her gaze, looking like he was terrified of what she might say. Marinette was truthfully surprised that what seemed like an out-of-the-blue insult from such an ignorant person could have any basis in reality. She hadn’t expected him to confide such a secret in her, although that was why she had stayed. She could sense the direction the conversation was going now, but decided to proceed with caution until Pascal chose to clarify things at his own pace.

“It’s hard to say…” Marinette chose her words carefully. “It’s hard to think she was right about any of it. Like I said, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about; she didn’t even know there’s a difference between gender and sexuality.”

Not having been immediately dismissed, Pascal pressed on a little more bravely. “To be honest, I don’t really know about either of those things. For the longest time now, I’ve felt… different. I’ve never really thought about… that… wanting to be a woman. Except for wanting to be Ladybug. Sometimes I feel like I don’t fit in my own skin so… it’s nice to think about what it would be like to be somebody else, but I’ve never thought about, about _changing_ myself.”

Marinette sat down beside him. He looked at her; so expectant, so eager for her opinion or words of wisdom. “You know what I think…?” she asked thoughtfully. He nodded eagerly for her to go on. “I believe that love is love, regardless of gender. And if gender doesn’t matter then, why would it ever? Whatever you think or feel may be different, but it’s definitely not wrong. You’re you and that’s all that matters.”

Her smile was so kind then, he nearly broke down. He wiped at his nose and she put a hand on his shoulder. “But what about everyone else, what about what they think?”

“Honestly? Who cares,” she said simply. “I meant it when I said I don’t think anyone’s going to tease you about this—except maybe Chloé, but who cares about her? And if Chloé hadn’t brought it up, no one would’ve thought about your gender identity or your sexuality, whatever they may be. It’s none of their business! You shouldn’t let their opinions or prejudices matter to you. But, for what it’s worth, most of that crowd was made up of my classmates and I don’t think they’re the kind of people who would have a problem with those kinds of things.”

Pascal dabbed at his eyes again and sniffed loudly. “Thanks. I-I didn’t mean to…”

Marinette shook her head and quickly grabbed a kleenex out of her purse (Tikki beamed up at her like this was the proudest moment in her life) to hand to him. “No, please. I’m glad you did. You should just focus on making more amazing technological inventions instead of worrying over all this. I won’t tell anyone and you can talk to me again if you’d like—although I should warn you that I’m no expert in these things.”

He smiled at her. “Thank you so much. Truly. Although,” he added in his usual teasing tone. “Technically, I didn’t invent anything.”

“Close enough,” Marinette chuckled. “But we should probably hurry up and pack up whoever’s invention this is. We can’t leave million-euro equipment lying around.”

“That’s true. Race you?”

“You win. Rather, I can’t afford to lose,” she sighed before something occurred to her. “Wait, none of the classrooms are on the ground floor! How are we going to get this up the stairs?”

Pascal laughed. “Still want to help?”

 

 

 

It turns out Pascal had been teasing her again. He had explained to his teacher in advance that he couldn’t get his equipment upstairs to the classroom and he had been given a safe space on the ground floor to keep his equipment until it was time for his demonstration. Most of his class had already seen the earlier demonstration but he would have to present it again officially later in the day since that was technically the reason he brought it in the first place. His father had only given him permission to take the equipment out for one day and Marinette wasn’t certain that his father’s company knew he had it at all. They had wasted quite a bit of time with their conversation, but after that, it didn’t take them too much longer to get everything together and into the designated room. M. Harpèle was there, waiting to lock up the room and he promised Marinette he’d speak to Mlle. Bustier about her tardiness stemming from the generous deed of helping a younger student. She was glad she was able to help Pascal but it would be nice if she could avoid detention or another grounding from her parents.

Mlle. Bustier was distracted helping Nathanial with something and didn’t notice Marinette sneak in. There was a fair bit of chatter amongst the students that usually meant they were in the middle of working on an exercise.

“What’re we doing?” Marinette asked Alya quietly as she slid into her seat.

“Write a poem in French and English. Now, where were you?” Alya replied.

“ _And_ English?”

“Short poem; two lines, haiku, whatever—where did you go? I thought you were right behind me?” Alya persisted.

“I stayed to talk to Pascal. I wanted to make sure he was ok and I ended up helping him move his equipment,” she sighed. At the mention of Pascal’s name, Nino and Adrien turned around in their seats to listen.

“Pascal? Is he alright?” asked Adrien.

“He’s better now, but he was upset about the things Chloé said about him,” Marinette explained. “He was afraid people were going to believe her and treat him differently.”

“That pest!” Alya snarled. “Good job, Marinette. You’ve always been good at helping others, but with Chloé’s track record, this time you might have actually saved someone from becoming akumatized.” That was always the goal. Although, Marinette didn’t know how to tell Alya that she’d tried to prevent akumas before but it had never worked until now.

“Alya’s right, Marinette. That was a really cool thing to do,” Adrien beamed at her, making her blush and attempt to hide herself behind her notebook. Adrien had always thought Marinette was extremely kind and always there for her friends, but as far as he knew she didn’t even know Pascal that well. Leave it to Marinette to care so much about a stranger. It was frankly impressive what a good person she was sometimes.

“You’re like the anti-Chloé,” Nino remarked. “Reducing the number of akumas wherever you go.”

“Helping others to reduce the akuma population is a noble goal we should all aspire to. But I still say it would be easier to just get rid of Chloé,” Alya grumbled. “Honestly, did she learn nothing from that article? It’s like she’s forgotten just because we promised to keep _one_ story out of the papers. Like we won’t call her out the next time she does something wrong. I think someone might need a reminder piece…”

“What happened to not destroying peoples’ reputations on purpose?” Nino pointed out.

“Exceptions can be made.”

“Now, now,” Alya’s boyfriend chided her. “Didn’t you just learn a big lesson on that? You can’t control the power of words, actions have consequences, the internet has a mind of its own, and all that?”

“Fine,” Alya glowered, fists balled.

“That’s the spirit, Babe. Just keep thinking ‘What would Ladybug do?’”

“I expect Ladybug does her work properly,” Mlle. Bustier said, appearing behind them. “There’s an awful lot of talking going on over here. Are you doing the assignment?”

“Yes, Mlle!” Nino announced. He promptly stood up and began reciting the poem he must have finished before Marinette walked in.

 

“ _Il n'est pas ma faute si vous ne pouvez savoir_

_“La beauté d’une boulangerie vous n’aviez jamais voir._

“It’s not my fault you cannot see

“The beauty of my bakery.”

  

“Enough with your stupid bakery,” Alya rolled her eyes.

“Very good, Nino,” Mlle. Bustier said, privately wondering why a bakery poem was coming not from the baker’s daughter, but her friend.

“Should I recite mine as well, Mlle?” Adrien asked innocently.

“Not right now, thank you, Adrien,” she replied. “We’ll have a few more minutes of work time and then we’ll have time to discuss and share.” Satisfied they were working, Mlle. Busiter left to answer a question from Ivan, who seemed to be struggling.

Marinette smiled after her until her back was turned and then quickly returned to her work in a panic. “How long is ‘a few more minutes?’ What do I do? Dictionary! Where’s my dictionary?”

“You’re welcome,” Nino smirked pointedly.

“You’re a hero,” Alya replied. “But your poem is stupid.”

 

 

 

The rest of the day went smoothly. In gym, Chloé was surprised to find herself in the position of constantly dodging balls that were accidentally-on-purpose sent flying her way. At lunch, Marinette was able to beat the _TownWorld_ level that Alya had struggled with on the second try. She even managed to have a few more short conversations with Adrien while Alya and Nino argued about their game. The only downside was the text from Master Fu telling Marinette that lessons began after school ended. It was a bit of a drag, but it did give her the chance to show off how much studying she’d accomplished before she forgot everything again.

As her class filed out of the classroom, Marinette looked over the railing to see Pascal suited up in his motion capture gear, evidently having just finished presenting his project. She waved to him and got a return wave from him and his virtual Ladybug.

“Looks like the presentation went well,” Marinette commented to Alya.

“Of course! They probably made him go last so he wouldn’t put everyone else’s to shame.”

Marinette agreed. “Well, I should probably get going, see you—”

“Going? Going where?” Alya interrupted. “I thought we were going to go ask Mme. Mendeleiev about the Physics homework?”

“Oh! That’s right!” Marinette exclaimed. She’d completely forgotten. She looked down guiltily at her purse where Tikki was hiding, knowing the kwami was listening. She debated it briefly in her head but Mme. Mendeleiev never stuck around long after school unless she was supervising a detention. They’d need to catch her before she left. It wouldn’t take that long, anyway. Master Fu would forgive her a few minutes. “Let’s go.”

They raced past Adrien as he waved goodbye to Nino. He had some time to kill before his fencing lesson began and he decided to head to the library. He could look up books on Chinese History; a little self-study for the Miraculous lessons. Or maybe study for his regular Chinese lessons. Master Fu had been impressed by his fluency but he still had a long way to go on the written language. It would be fascinating if he could read a book about ancient Chinese history in the actual language; he’d surely find much more information than he could get at the school library. The book of Miraculous secrets was in code, but maybe Fu had some other texts Adrien could read.

Down in the courtyard, Pascal hadn’t had the chance to put away his hologram. He was still being mobbed with pose requests and a line of people waiting their turn for pictures. Now that classes had ended, other students were joining in and it was beginning to seem like he would be there a while. He didn’t have anywhere better to be but eventually his dad would come to pick up the equipment when he got off work. 

“So… the camera reads the information it gets from the sensors on your body and face to tell the computer how to position Ladybug?” Jean Duparc reasoned.

“Pretty much. It’s basically a puppet,” Pascal explained.

“What would happen if I stole the one on your head?” he asked eagerly.

“Her head would fly off,” Pascal deadpanned to gasps from his audience. “I’m kidding, of course. If you cover up the sensor or take it out of range, her head would just stay still. Moving it off to the side will just make her head move in an unnatural direction. You make 3D figures move by giving them a skeleton of sorts—like I said, a puppet. So what it’s really doing is matching points on the body—her hand to my hand, her shoulder and my shoulder, leg to leg, etc.” He took off the strap around his head and held it up higher. Ladybug mimed holding something above her head but was otherwise unfazed. “Even if my neck were to grow mysteriously longer, it doesn’t change her skeleton. But we can still mess with the program…” he added and moved the band over his shoulder, causing Ladybug’s head to lay on her shoulder like her neck was broken. People laughed and cheered, asking him to hold the pose so they could get pictures.

“ _Beurk_ , haven’t you sullied the sanctity of Ladybug enough with your little tranny show? And now such a grotesque appearance—it’s bad taste.” Chloé appeared among the crowd, using Sabrina to part the spectators.

Pascal took a deep breath to steady himself and then sighed. “It’s a _demonstration_ , Chloé,” he set the headband back on his head. “I was demonstrating how the technology works. You don’t have to watch if you don’t want to.”

“As if,” Chloé said haughtily. “As a personal friend of Ladybug, it’s practically my _duty_ to defend her honor against perverts like you.”

Pascal bit back his retort that he believed Chloé was friends with Ladybug as much as Lila Rossi was and turned away. Picking fights with Chloé was just going to exacerbate the situation again. He decided to change the subject. “Any more questions or requests?” he asked the crowd. Several hands shot up and chatter resumed.

“I want a picture of you and me together in that ridiculous getup!” his friend Flore declared, waving her phone for emphasis.

“Oh, me too,” their mutual friend Guillaume chuckled. “And I want one of me kissing Ladybug like you did for that model kid this morning.”

Chloé made a scandalized noise but Pascal just pointed at him with finger guns and grinned. “Request denied!” he announced to cheers and giggles from the crowd.

“No fair!”

“I was just pranking Agreste. Perfectly innocent. You on the other hand, I don’t trust you at all,” Pascal shook his head in mock-seriousness.

Flore chuckled. “Serves you right.”

“How about me? Do you trust me?” a random guy from the audience called to more laughter.

Enraged they were all ignoring her, Chloé rounded on Sabrina. “This side-show is a farce! For the good of Ladybug we must put it to a stop!”

“Ok, Chloé… but first, maybe one more picture?” Sabrina asked sheepishly. She hadn’t managed to get a turn by herself when Chloé was hogging the hologram this morning.

“No! We must stop this immediately before that freak sullies the name of Ladybug and gets his gay germs all over the place.”

“But, Chloé! If you hate homosexuals that much, isn’t your hairstylist gay?” Sabrina insisted.

Chloé waved her hand dismissively. “Yes, but he’s fabulous and can work wonders with hair. Everybody knows stylish gays don’t count. Now get to work!”

Giving in, Sabrina crept around the crowd to the power strip on the cart and began pulling plugs at random.

“Hey! What gives?” Pascal yelled as his equipment failed.

“In the name of Ladybug, this demonstration is over—” Chloé decreed to jeers from the crowd, propping her foot on top of one of the projectors for emphasis.

“Stop that! Do you have any idea how expensive this equipment is? Not even your father could pay to replace it!” Pascal cried, enraged and alarmed. Sabrina quickly dropped the cords she was holding and backed away.

“Your computer! Is your computer Ok?” Max panicked, grabbing his head and looking as if he might faint.

“Not cool, Chloé,” Kim frowned. “Just because you got your turn this morning—”

Chloé scoffed in indignation. “That has nothing to do with it! This precocious little she-male—”

“Hey! Lay off him!” Flore challenged, getting up in Chloé’s face.

“Yeah! What’s your problem?” Guillaume demanded.

“Leave Pascal alone!”

“Chloé ruins everything!”

“Turn Ladybug back on!”

Chloé had not anticipated the mob that was now closing in on her. “Back! Get back you peasants!” she nearly stumbled over the projector she had been stepping on as she backed away from Pascal’s classmates haranguing her with insults. This gave her an idea. In a last ditch effort to gain control of the situation, she kicked the outer projector into the central projector, causing both to crack in what sounded like a very costly collision.

“NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” yelled Pascal, running over to his equipment.

“ _Oh no! What a tragic accident! If only I hadn’t been forced to trip by a crowd of students,_ ” Chloé moaned dramatically in what had to be her least convincing performance yet.

“You did that on purpose!” Pascal argued, temper rising.

“I did _not!_ ” Chloé cried in mock-indignation. “It was obvious that I tripped. Such an accident could have happened to anybody who was so rudely pushed by ill-mannered children. I even have a witness, right Sabrina?”

“Right, Chloé! I saw everything!” agreed Sabrina, popping up from the back of the crowd where she clearly couldn’t have seen anything, let alone Chloé’s feet.

“ _Ben_ … we all saw you kick it,” Kim supplied.

“Priceless equipment should never have been left on the floor, anyway. I think the real crime here is carelessness.” Chloé flipped her hair as if the matter was closed.

“Don’t worry, Pascal! We’ll all back you up! She’ll have to pay for damages!” Max volunteered, to enthusiastic agreement from the crowd.

“Don’t you get it? I don’t care about the money! It’s still broken!” Pascal yelled, ripping off his headband. “My dad trusted me with this and she’s ruined everything!”

“ _Bah!_ Making such a scene, just because you can’t play LadyBoy and Chat Noir,” Chloé scoffed. “Never underestimate the drama of the gays; he must be on his period.” She laughed cruelly at her own joke.

“I’ve had enough!” Pascal shouted, throwing his headband to the ground and storming off. People tried to call out to him but were ignored. He ripped off the orange stickers on his face and let them fall to the ground as he ran; he wouldn’t need them if the machine was broken. Reaching the steps leading out of school, he threw himself into the bushes and huddled down.

Across Paris, light filtered in as the window opened in Papillon’s lair. “Middle school,” Papillon sighed in false-pity. “Such a hostile environment for the confused youth it contains, and once again, a perfect breeding ground for my akuma. It is a trial to be different, even more so to be different in the light.” He grabbed a butterfly in his hand and infused it with his power. “Darken his heart, my little akuma, and allow this youth to unleash his true self!”

It was the worst day of Pascal’s life as tears streamed down his face. He had no idea how he would face his father about the equipment. Never mind explaining why the perpetrator had chosen to pick on him in the first place. He punched the grass before him but when that didn’t make him feel any better he buried his head in his knees.

As he sat there in his misery, a black butterfly flew into the remote that peaked out of his armband. Pascal’s blank face rose up from his knees and stared into the butterfly mask that linked him to his new master.

“ _Coccinelectric_ , I am the Papillon. I have seen your plight and wish to help. In exchange for bringing me the Miraculouses of Ladybug and Chat Noir, I will make your dreams into reality and give you the power to devastate those who ridicule you. Will you help me?”

“Consider it done,” Pascal grinned wickedly and stood up to let the dark magic wash over him. As the darkness cleared, Coccinelectric inspected her appearance to find herself in the body of none other than Ladybug herself. The only visible difference was the black armband on her left arm, which housed the akuma-infested remote control.

“Am I bugging?” she asked herself. “I look just like Ladybug! I bet no one could tell the difference, not even Ladybug’s biggest fans. And I know just the fan to test that theory on!” she added, looking around. Coccinelectric spotted her target, Théo Barbot walking down the street, texting on his cellphone.

“Coucou!” she called, starling him.

“Ladybug! Is this for real?” Théo asked.

“Salut! Yes, it’s me, Ladybug!” she singsonged sweetly and pointed to his phone. “May I borrow that for a moment?”

Still confused, but delighted, he held it out. “But of course!”

“Merci!” the moment she touched the screen of the smartphone, Coccinelectric pixelated and warped into the phone, disappearing instantly to the great shock of Théo. He looked around wildly but was provided no insight into what the heck just happened.

 

 

 

Chloé Bourgeois scowled as she slammed the doors of the boy’s locker room open and imperiously marched out into the courtyard towards Sabrina. “Well?” she demanded.

“He wasn’t in the classroom!” Sabrina announced.

“ _Bah!_ Where is he? Are you sure he’s still here?”

Sabrina nodded cheerfully. “Very sure! His fencing lesson starts half an hour after class ends. He must still be waiting here somewhere. Should we check the library?”

“I suppose,” Chloé pondered moodily. She hadn’t seen her Adrien since class got out and it was really tiresome having to look around for him. She pulled out her phone and started flipping through her messages as if that would make a text appear. “Why isn’t he responding?”

“Maybe his phone’s on silent?” her friend suggested helpfully.

As the two walked towards the library doors, Sabrina’s phone pinged. They stalled as she pulled it out of her pocket. Chloé held her own phone aloft as she looked over Sabrina’s shoulder. “Is it Adrien?”

Sabrina’s phone seemed to glitch and for a second it looked as if a ladybug symbol had appeared on the screen, but ultimately there was no message. “No, it was no one,” Sabrina replied, slightly confused.

In the split moment the two girls were looking away, Coccinelectric had used the opportunity to materialize from Chloé’s phone to stand behind her.  As Sabrina looked up and Chloé turned back around they were both surprised to see none other than Ladybug standing incredibly close to them where she hadn’t been just a split second before.

Chloé screamed in initial surprise before recognition kicked in. “LADYBUG!” she cheered, completely ignoring the suddenness and strangeness of the arrival.

“Is there an akuma?” Sabrina asked worriedly.

“ _Mais non_ , not at all!” Coccinelectric replied, waving her hand dismissively and smiling wide. “In fact, I came to see you, my biggest fan.”

“ _La vache!_ ” Chloé squealed. “Ladybug came for me! I knew it was only a matter of time before we became best friends!”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” Coccinelectric said, still smiling. “Quite the opposite; there is no one in the world I find more detestable.”

Chloé and Sabrina gasped in unified horror. “WHAT? _That can’t be true!_ ”

Coccinelectric shrugged casually and paced around her. “I don’t see what’s so surprising. The only surprising thing at all is that you have any friends. It’s a wonder anyone likes you, pest that you are.”

“L-Ladybug! What are you saying?” Chloé gaped at her false idol.

“I’m saying I hate you,” she replied, causing Chloé to grab at her heart as if she had been stabbed. Each additional statement sent her whimpering in additional pain as she incrementally lowered herself to the ground. “You’re a spoiled, greedy, mean, selfish, nasty, stupid girl who has no manners or taste in clothes.” Chloé collapsed to her knees dramatically at the final comment and buried her face in her hands, wailing loudly.

“Chloé!” Sabrina reached out to comfort her friend but Chloé shot to her feet and bolted away, sobbing loudly as Sabrina chased after her.

Coccinelectric cackled hysterically at the sight of them. “What idiots! Serves them right, speaking for Ladybug when they can’t even recognize a fake,” she looked at her hands, covered in Ladybug’s red and black spotted fabric and relished in the possibilities. “But if I could fool Chloé, who else could I fool? There is no fan of Ladybug who could tell the difference! I’ll fool them all and then Paris will bow at my feet!”

“And they will, Coccinelectric, but first you must complete your end of the deal,” Papillon reminded her, establishing their link. “Bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculouses and you will be the only Ladybug around.”

“I’ll bring you their Miraculouses!” Coccienelectric decreed. “And _I_ will become Ladybug once and for all!”

“Excellent,” Papillon cackled. “Those foolish heroes won’t know what’s coming until it’s too late.”

 

 

 

“All I’m saying is that she could have just _told_ us the answer.”

“I think she wanted us to find it on our own.”

“If we could have found it on our own with her crappy explanation, we wouldn’t have had to stay after school,” Alya complained.

“Agreed,” nodded Marinette. “But at least that’s over with.” It had taken longer than she thought to get their question answered and Marinette was trying very hard not to look like she was as eager to part from Alya as she was. She didn’t have a good excuse ready for why she was in a hurry but she really was keeping Master Fu waiting. They walked down the hall when Alya simultaneously flung out one hand to stop Marinette and grabbed her cell with the other.

“No way! It’s Ladybug!” Alya cried, eagerly pointing her confused friend in the right direction.

“The hologram?” Marinette asked initially but to her incredible surprise, the Ladybug Alya was pointing to was definitely solid and not attached to a standing projector.

Who or whatever the imposter was ran down a different passage, unaware of Alya filming. “What’s she doing here?” she chattered excitedly. “Is it an akuma? Let’s follow her!”

And for once, Marinette didn’t object to Alya’s dangerous plans. She had to find out what was going on and capture the imposter for herself. She trailed Alya as they ran after the figure in the spotted red unitard, surreptitiously sending Master Fu a text that simply said “akuma @ school” to let him know she had a good excuse for her absence.

They came to the end of the hallway and saw no sign of the fake super heroine down any of the side corridors. They quickly began opening doors at random to find her. Unbeknownst to Alya, she just missed seeing Coccinelectric quickly scan through the school’s security system before disappearing into a computer. Alya burst through the door of the computer lab, but after a quick look around she shut the door and moved on to the next one. There was no sign of her.

Alya turned to Marinette and stopped recording. “ _Mince!_ She got away!”

“Where did she go?” demanded Marinette. “She’s got to be around here somewhere—keep looking!”

They split up and the moment Marinette found an empty classroom she freed Tikki from her purse.

“Tikki! A fake Ladybug! What’s going on?”

“I’m not sure, Marinette! I don’t think you’ve time-traveled again—I don’t sense my presence. Perhaps you have a copycat like Chat Noir?” A worried Tikki surmised.

“Whoever she is, she’s going down! Tikki, transform me!” Marinette transformed into Ladybug and, checking the coast was clear, sped off down the hallway. “I hope she’s still close by!”

 

 

 

Adrien read as he walked, headed back to the shelf where he’d found his current book. This was the fourth book he’d tried and he still couldn’t find something interesting or relevant. He’d be better off spending his time reading about Chinese history on the internet on his phone until his lessons began. He shut the book and sighed, moving to put it on the shelf.

“Hey there, handsome. We meet again.”

Adrien dropped the book. Sure he’d know that voice anywhere, Adrien jumped and turned around to find that it was, indeed, Ladybug who had spoken. “Ladybug!” he yelped. Wait. Had she just called him handsome? He looked around wildly to see who else she could have been talking to but there was no one behind him.

Ladybug giggled and stretched out her arm to lounge seductively against the side of the bookcase. Adrien briefly noticed the black armband she wore but was rather distracted by those beautiful blue eyes boring into him.

“No need to bug out. Is that any way to treat an old friend?”

Did Ladybug just make a pun? Wait—they were friends? “That—are we, we’re friends, you and me?” he fumbled, glancing away and back again as he felt heat rise into his face. He needed to get control of himself but he’d never even seen her look that way at Chat Noir before.

“Of course! We go way back. I saved your life, remember?” her wink made him turn as red as a tomato.

“Is that why you’re here? Am I in danger again?” Adrien never thought an akuma would make his day but if it meant spending more time with Ladybug…

She leaned back from the shelf and tossed her head back, eyeing him out of the corner of her eye, a playful smirk dancing across her face. “Why? Do you feel scared?”

He couldn’t feel his legs.

“I’ll have you know, I just came to say hello. We haven’t seen each other in so long and I missed you,” she clasped her hands behind her back and turned her head cutely to the side, looking up at him as she stepped closer and closer. “Did you miss me?”

“Y-yes…”

“I’m so glad,” she crooned, her face dangerously close to his. Adrien tried to take a step back but his brain still wasn’t connecting to his feet and he stumbled. Ladybug caught him around the waist, dipping him like a dance. Oh God. “It really bugs me when you’re not here.”

Another pun. Did Ladybug imitate Chat Noir when she flirted? Was—was she flirting? With him? Ladybug was flirting with him. His eyes grew wider and wider as she brought his face closer to his. Plagg Almighty, Ladybug was going to kiss him.

“OH, NO YOU _DON’T_!”

A yoyo launched itself abruptly between them, causing Ladybug to drop Adrien as she dodged out of the way. Adrien tumbled backwards in shock and looked up to see the projectile had come from none other than Ladybug herself. But not the Ladybug he had just been talking to.

“Two Ladybugs?” gasped Adrien. Admittedly, this had happened before, but seeing as this time they didn’t appear to be on the same team, it felt significantly less awesome.

“There is now, and has only ever been, _one_ Ladybug—and that’s me!” announced the new Ladybug, baring her fists at the other. “How dare you pretend to be me, you imposter!”

The armbanded Ladybug dusted herself off and crossed her arms. “Ha! _I’m_ the only Ladybug. You’re the one who is fake.”

The other Ladybug growled and hurled her yoyo at the first, causing the other to smirk as she flung hers out to meet it. The second yoyo’s speed was noticeably weaker and it even began to drop altitude when it met the first yoyo in the middle. The armbandless Ladybug’s yoyo plowed through the other, tossing it to the ground like a regular children’s toy. Her opponent barely managed to duck out of the way again.

A triumphant grin spread across the real Ladybug’s face. “Well, well. It seems you can imitate my face but not my powers. Now, won’t you be a dear and tell us what manner of akuma are you?”

Relief flooded Adrien to have a clear answer to the situation. He had been too shocked to properly register the facts, but thinking clearly, it should have been obvious who the fake was. Slightly ashamed of himself, but glad to see her, he ran over to the real Ladybug to put distance between himself and the fake.

Coccinelectric glared murderously at her useless yoyo before turning her rage upon them. “I am Ladybug!”

“You’re a fraud!” Adrien cut in. “And not a very good one! I should have noticed it sooner—the puns and the armband…” The flirting. “You’re nothing like the real Ladybug!”

Ladybug beamed at him and he had to turn away to stop himself from blushing up a storm again.

Coccinelectric used their momentary distraction to her advantage to grab her yoyo and vault over the railing to the bottom floor of the library, pitching into a shoulder roll to stick the landing.

“Hey! Get back here!” Ladybug called, wrapping her yoyo around the library’s central pillar and swinging down to the lower floor to give chase.

Adrien ducked behind the shelves and grabbed for Plagg, who came zooming out from his usual hiding place in Adrien’s shirt. “We better hurry! Plagg, transform me!” Transformation complete, Chat Noir grabbed his baton and launched himself down to the lower level. Looking around, he could see his Ladybug cornering the fake in front of the school’s several monitors.

“Ladybug!” he called to get her attention.

Noticing him, Ladybug laughed. “Give up! You’ve nowhere to go!”

“That’s what you think,” the imposter sneered and, without breaking eye contact, confidently placed her hand over one of the television screens. Suddenly, her body pixelated and was sucked into the screen.

“She vanished!” Chat gasped.

“So that’s how she did it,” Ladybug grumbled. That would explain how she and Alya lost her earlier. “She has my face but none of my powers. Whatever abilities she does have seem to be electronic-related.”

“Lady Wifi all over again,” Chat complained. “But where on earth did she go? More importantly, how do we find her?”

Ladybug made a baffled face. “Honestly? I have no clue.”

Suddenly, Alya Césaire burst into the library. “Ladybug! I found you at last!” she cried, phone camera aloft. “What are you two doing in our school?”

“Alya!” Ladybug cheered. “Just in time! We need your blog! There’s an imposter Ladybug running loose and we need to find out where she went.”

“An imposter Ladybug? How cool!”

“She looks exactly like me, but is wearing a black armband on her left arm. She can use technology to teleport.”

“Super cool!”

Movement on one of the screens caught Chat Noir’s attention. He turned to look as the monitors all flickered to black in unison. “Milady, look!” A ladybug symbol appeared over the black background of each screen. A blip sounded and Alya’s phone suddenly bore the same symbol. Spreading forth like a wave, the ladybug signal cast outwards onto every electronic device in Paris.

Confusion abounded at the interruption until after several seconds, Ladybug’s face appeared in place of her symbol. A black armband could be seen on her left arm.

“The fake Ladybug!” Alya gasped.

“I think we found her,” Chat Noir said. “And she’s in the computers!”

“Great. How do we get her out of there?” Ladybug protested. Chat shrugged as Coccinelectric started speaking.

“Greetings, Paris! It is I, your favorite superheroine, Ladybug!” Coccinelectric paused as the citizens of Paris stopped what they were doing to tune into their cellphones, televisions, computers, or outdoor jumbo screens to cheer on the appearance of the ever popular Ladybug. “I’m appearing before you to ask for your help in defeating another akuma. There is a fake Ladybug imitating me loose on the streets of Paris and it is up to you to stop her!”

“Say _what?_ ”

“I, the real Ladybug, have adopted this armband to set myself apart from the imposter. If you see a Ladybug who looks like me but without an armband, capture her immediately and take her earrings! Text ‘Imposter’ and your location to the number on the bottom of your screen and I will be there promptly to retrieve them and expel the akuma. Go forth, Paris! Your Ladybug is counting on you!”

The fake Ladybug’s face disappeared leaving the ladybug symbol revolving in place with instructions on the bottom of the screen to “CAPTURE THE FAKE LADYBUG” with instructions on how to contact her.

“ _La garce!_ ” Ladybug cried in outrage.

“Super. Now all of Paris is out to get you… again,” Chat Noir commented sarcastically.

“And we still don’t have any way of getting her out of there,” his lady scowled. “How do we fight a computer program?”

“By fighting fire with fire!” Alya offered excitedly. “We could use my blog! All we have to do is film a response with you and Chat Noir declaring _you’re_ the real Ladybug and draw her out! She can’t convince anyone she’s Ladybug if she’s hiding in a computer forever!”

Ladybug put her hand to her chin in thought. “It’s a good plan, it’s true—but can you override her signal? Your phone is useless as long as she’s in control of it… but it gives me an idea! Come on, Chat Noir! To the TVi studio!”

“Right behind you, Milady!” Chat trilled as they ran outside, leaving Alya behind. “You’ll be needing this alley cat to guard you on the mean streets of Paris.” 

They launched themselves onto the rooftop of the nearest building in order to avoid any confrontations with civilians. Landing lithely next to Chat, Ladybug snorted. “You must be very experienced, having gone this long without getting sent to the pound.”

Chat pouted as she smirked and they were on their way again.  They hopped from building to building as spectators down below pointed and shouted but were useless to try and stop either of them. They dropped down onto the red carpet before the TVi studio’s entrance, startling the blonde receptionist and several other people in the lobby. The receptionist locked eyes with a security guard and they seemed to be debating whether to try and detain the supposedly-fake Ladybug. Chat Noir took his cue to step in, holding up his hands in a peaceful gesture and strolling casually into the room.

“We appreciate your desire to help Paris, but I can assure you that this is the real Ladybug and she’s with me,” he said, leaning his elbow on the reception desk and adding quietly, “In more ways than one.” He winked at the receptionist.

“We’ll explain everything later,” Ladybug added apologetically. “For now we’re going up to the shooting studio. Are Alec and Mme. Chamack up there?”

The receptionist gaped at them.

“We’ll take that as a ‘yes,’” Chat decided and the two headed unchallenged into the elevator, although both the receptionist and security guard grabbed their phones to call for help.

Chat Noir leaned casually against the wall next to Ladybug, closing the already tight space of the elevator. “Be prepared for a fight when we get off. Looks like security’s headed our way,” he purred.

“Me? I’m always prepared,” Ladybug ducked out from under his arm and crossed to the other side of the elevator, adopting a readied stance. “Be careful not to hurt anybody.”

Chat sighed and pulled out his staff as the elevator came to a stop. The doors opened to reveal three security guards, looking nervous. Before they could react, Ladybug swung her yoyo around their legs and tripped them all in unison. “Sorry!” she apologized as they jumped over the guards and ran towards the double doors of the room where they filmed most of their programs.

Mme. Chamack and Alec Cataldi were apparently waiting for them, having been briefed by the receptionist. The two heroes had no doubt more security guards were on their way. Alec stepped forward in a vaguely protective gesture, though he was unarmed.

“You’ve been lied to!” Ladybug announced. “I’m the real Ladybug! There is a lookalike who controls technology trying to replace me!”

“It’s true,” Chat added. “There may be two Ladybugs, but me, I’m the only Chat Noir there is and I can confirm this one—without the armband—is the real Ladybug!”

Alec and Mme. Chamack looked at each other for a moment before Mme. Chamack nodded firmly to the super duo. “We thought that something like that might have happened,” she admitted. “But we had to be sure.”

“Yeah, totally,” Alec agreed. “Even if you made that broadcast with someone else instead of coming to us, it seemed strange you could interrupt all networks without some sort of emergency broadcast system.”

Ladybug smiled with relief. “That’s actually why we’re here. We were hoping to use the emergency override to send out a counter message to draw out the fake.”

“Everyone else’s systems have been rendered useless. Do you think you can override her signal?” Chat asked eagerly.

“The techs have been working on getting us back online since the interruption started,” Alec pondered. “The emergency broadcast system is designed to interrupt any and all programs and only play what we tell it. I don’t know how strong this fake Ladybug’s signal is but… it’s worth a try.”

 

 

 

Alya waited impatiently in front of the library’s monitors for something to happen. She still couldn’t get her phone to respond to anything; even holding down the power button didn’t do anything. She hoped Ladybug’s plan would work.

Suddenly, the television screens were interrupted by fits of snow before the ladybug symbol fizzled out and was replaced by color bars. After a brief second of the shrill standby tone, a loud blip sounded and Chat Noir’s face with its signature toothy grin appeared on the screen.

“HA! Go Ladybug!” Alya cheered. She only wished her phone had come back online as well so she could record the broadcast for her blog.

“Good afternoon, citizens of Paris and welcome back to the Chat Noir Show!”

“Chat Noir! Be serious!” Ladybug’s voice could be heard from off screen.

In the studio, Chat winked at Ladybug before turning back to the camera. According to the studio’s workers, they had managed to get through to all the televisions in Paris. The EBS wasn’t designed to interrupt cellphones or computers, so they couldn’t reach all of the infected electronics, but if they were right, it would be enough to annoy the fake Ladybug out of hiding. “We interrupt your interrupted program to bring you this important announcement. There _is_ a fake Ladybug on the loose, but it’s not the one without the armband. As Ladybug’s one and only partner, this One of a Kind Kitty can assure you that I know without a doubt that the real Ladybug is the one standing next to me.”

Ladybug walked into the camera’s view and adopted a cheerful demeanor. “That’s right, I’m the real Ladybug. We apologize for the confusion with the akuma but you needn’t worry anymore. Ladybug has never been Ladybug without Chat Noir. They can imitate my look all they want but in the end they can’t copy my powers or my partner. For that reason, there can never be any confusion about who the _true_ Ladybug is.”

Alec jumped on screen between the two of them and went full announcer-mode. “That’s right! This is Alec Cataldi live here with the _real_ Ladybug and Chat Noir here to tell you that the armband Ladybug is _fake!_ ” Winking in his typical camera-aside he added, “And not a very good one at that, if you ask me,” he stood back and railed on in his signature fast-talk. “Pretenders beware! Aside from all the _obvious_ _tells_ in the faker’s appearance, the real Ladybug can be understood from a simple two-second conversation. That’s right, viewers! You needn’t worry about discerning the real from the fake because it’s _absurdly easy!_ Anyone could do it! You only—”

The lights flickered in the studio and all of the televisions blared the horrible standby tone before Coccinelectric materialized in the studio from one of the television screens and all of the electronics dropped the ladybug symbol and resumed normal functions. The broadcast continued uninterrupted as Parisians stayed glued to their television sets and one of the cameras panned over to the newcomer. Chloé Bourgeois threw a pillow at the screen of her bedroom and yelled, “Go Ladybug! Get that horrible fake! I knew the _real_ Ladybug could never hate me!” to fervent nods from Sabrina.

“You think this will change anything? Me, I’m just getting started,” Coccinelectric raged as Alec took his cue to flee before the fight started.

“You’re not fooling anyone anymore,” Ladybug declared. “You call yourself Ladybug yet you can’t even use your yoyo properly.”

“Our powers may not be the same but that’s hardly of consequence. You’re the beta version and me, I’m the upgrade. I will be an even better Ladybug that Paris will adore!”

“Ha! Maybe in the virtual world,” Chat said smugly. “But here in reality you’ll never be able to hold your own against the real thing. Our original will never fall to a digital copy!”

A wicked grin spread across Coccinelectric’s face. “Digital copies and the virtual world, _hein?_ Not a bad idea.” She reached into her armband and pulled out the small black remote within and pointed it at Chat Noir. Just as the need to run sank in, she pressed a button and Chat digitized and vanished.

“Chat Noir!” Ladybug cried before Coccinelectric turned the remote towards her and she had to dive out of the way. She ran and dodged until she hid behind some of the equipment. She waited for an opening and then dashed out, lobbing her yoyo at her opponent, who touched the television screen behind her and disappeared again. Before Ladybug could even wonder where she went, Coccinelectric materialized behind her from the opposite TV and zapped Ladybug with her remote as well.

“Woah!” Ladybug stumbled but was caught by strong arms. “Chat Noir!” she gasped in recognition. Looking around, she realized they were alone together in the streets of a very empty Paris. “Where are we?”

Laughter sounded around them as Coccinelectric materialized to their left. Ladybug quickly threw her yoyo at her but the villain simply disappeared and reappeared two feet to the right.

“What?” Ladybug gasped.

Chat moved to strike Coccinelectric with his staff but she disappeared again, popping in an out of existence around them.

“It’s no use, _Ladybug;_ you’re in my world now!” she jeered. “Do you like it? I took your _chaton’s_ suggestion and made my own world. Welcome to the digital age!”

“I—what? I didn’t mean that literally!” Chat objected.

“Enough! I know who you are now!” Ladybug responded. “I recognized that remote---you’re Pascal, aren’t you?”

“Pascal?” Chat repeated in shock.

“He’s a boy who created a super accurate hologram of me. That armband was part of his motion capture suit and that remote controlled his equipment,” Ladybug explained, though it wasn’t lack of familiarity that had provoked Chat’s outburst. He hadn’t noticed it before, but she was right; the akuma before them was highly reminiscent of the boy he had met just this morning.

“That equipment is no more and so is Pascal. You can call me Coccinelectric, or ‘the New Ladybug’ if you prefer,” she offered menacingly as a butterfly mask appeared around her eyes.

“Yes, Coccinelectric! You have them trapped, with no escape!” Papillon crooned greedily. “Now! Take their Miraculouses! Give them to me and you can be the God of your own digital world!”

“If you ever want to see the real world again, give me your Miraculouses!” Coccinelectric demanded.

“Personally, I think it’s rather cozy in here with just myself and Ladybug,” Chat quipped. “So, thanks for the offer, but I’ll have to pass.” Ladybug gave him a look of disdain. _Really?_

“Very well, I’ll just take them by force!” Coccinelectric declared before teleporting right behind Ladybug and reaching for her earrings.

Chat Noir’s reflexes were too fast and he swung out past his lady’s ear where her lookalike had been just a second before. Ladybug quickly whipped out her yoyo and twirled it like a shield; Chat did the same with his staff and they positioned themselves back to back, turning in a circle to guard against unforeseen attacks.

“Too bad Chloé’s not here, eh? We could use an _Antibug_.”

“That is without a doubt, the worst joke you’ve ever told.”

 “Put up a firewall if you want; this bug controls the whole system!” Coccinelectric cackled and threw up her arms. Suddenly, an army of virtual citizens began winking into existence around her. “Go, my followers, capture their Miraculouses!”

“Time to go!” Ladybug announced, flinging her yoyo to the farthest building she could reach. Chat Noir grabbed her waist and they zoomed off, away from the mob. “We’ve got to hide!”

“I’m not sure there’s going to be anywhere where she can’t find us,” Chat disagreed as they fled. “She controls this place like one giant Paris-themed game of _TownWorld_.”

“I never minded that game until now,” Ladybug grumbled as they scaled the Eiffel Tower. “But suddenly it doesn’t seem as innocent. We need a plan before this Coccinelectric summons up some digital monsters to attack us.”

“I think that’s trademarked.”

They paused halfway up the tower to rest, far enough away from the viewing platforms and stairs that they couldn’t be reached. Coccinelectric’s virtual citizens clustered around the bottom, unable to do anything.

“The good news is I think I can get us out of here,” Chat Noir explained.

“Seriously? How?”

“Remember when I got digitized by Numéric? I used Cataclysm to get out of there and the whole dimension shattered. I’m pretty sure I could do the same thing here.”

“That’s excellent!” Ladybug exclaimed happily before the look on Chat Noir’s face gave her pause. “Wait—what’s the bad news?”

“The bad news is it’ll only work once. It’ll wipe out this dimension but then I’ll detransform soon after. And if we don’t get that remote, she may try something like this again or just disappear into another computer,” Chat continued. “If we’re going to use Cataclysm, we need to have a plan fully thought through.”

“Agreed,” Ladybug mused. “Why don’t we—”

Before she could finish her sentence, the Eiffel Tower suddenly seemed to blink in an out of existence for a second before vanishing entirely. Ladybug and Chat Noir unexpectedly found themselves hurtling towards the ground.

“Ladybug!”

Chat stretched out his hand to grasp hers but couldn’t reach. Without missing a beat, Ladybug wrapped her yoyo around Chat’s wrist and pulled him to her. He extended his baton to reach the ground and lower them both down gently. He stopped abruptly in midair as they both noticed something down below; Coccinelectric waiting on the ground at the center of her minions, once again holding her remote control. The crowd around her was chanting “Ladybug! Ladybug!” adoringly as they lauded their creator.

“That copychat really needs to bug off!” Chat Noir griped as he tilted the baton’s angle to send them vaulting over the heads of the crowd. Ladybug latched her yoyo onto a nearby tree and pulled them to it. They jumped down from the canopy and crept along the tree line on l’Avenue de la Bourdonnais to hide from her minions.

“Which way should we go; towards the park or the river?” Chat asked quietly.

“The Champ de Mars has no cover—let’s go this way,” Ladybug nodded toward the opposite direction. “We need to find some way to sneak up on her and—”

She cut off mid-sentence as a tree behind them disappeared. They both whipped around to see more like it vanish. Coccinelectric was striding over towards them and deleting trees at random with her remote in order to find them.

“Talk about controlling!”

“RUN!”

They took off running toward the road embarking the Seine, hoping to get some cover around the buildings. Coccinelectric spotted them and teleported behind Ladybug again but she ducked and rolled out of the way. Chat Noir charged her, ready to strike with his baton but Coccinelectric teleported next to him, foot out, and tripped him. She turned to look for Ladybug, who had vanished, and found her immediately by deleting the trashcan she had been hiding behind.

“Ladybug!” Chat cried in warning as he threw a bicycle at her. Ladybug jumped out of the way as Coccinelectric teleported into the bike’s path, where Ladybug had just been. The bike was deleted in mid-air.

“We have to get that remote away from her!” Ladybug exclaimed as they ran pell-mell along the Quai Branly, which unfortunately, didn’t have many good places to hide.

“Easier said than done!” Chat replied as he threw menu signs and displays from the stands and shops around the river at random behind them. “Plus, I don’t think she needs it to teleport!”

Coccinelectric popped in and out of existence as she followed them cheerfully. With a push of a button she deleted the Carousel de le Tour Eiffel to limit their hiding places.

Switching plans, Ladybug turned to her partner. “Le Pont d’Iéna!” she called, as she made a b-line for the bridge and a crêpe stand behind them vanished.

“She deleted the Eiffel Tower, what makes you think she won’t delete a bridge?” Chat complained but followed her anyway. They swooped down to the bank, the ornate bridge acting as a very temporary cover.

“We’re not getting anywhere like this,” Ladybug declared. “Lucky charm!”

She cast her yoyo skywards in hopes that the charm would provide them with the last-ditch solution they needed. She had no idea what it might look like but she still didn’t expect the red and black spotted squirt gun that dropped down upon them.

“What on earth am I to do with this? Ladybug asked in amazement. For good measure, she held it up skeptically to her ear and shook it. It was full of water. Looking at Chat, she understood immediately. “I’ve got it!”

The bridge above them blinked and vanished, Coccinelectric standing above them at the edge.

“Cataclysm! Use it now!”

Chat Noir didn’t hesitate. “Cataclysm!” he cried, striking the ground with his curse. The whole fabric of reality seemed to crack as everything around them turned black and was erased. They were forcefully thrown back into reality, arriving suddenly on solid ground back at the TVi studio where they had started. Ladybug was ready for it. As Coccinelectric looked around in shock and rage, Ladybug took aim with her squirt gun and fired at the little black remote in her hand.

“Ouille!” the akuma exclaimed as it shorted in her hand, causing her to drop it. Ladybug quickly scooped it up in mid-air with her yoyo and threw it to the ground, smashing it. The studio crew (who were still there) cheered.

“Curse you, Ladybug! I was so close!” Papillon raged. “Next time you won’t be so lucky! I’ll have your Miraculous yet!” He shouted into the ether as the window closed on his lair.

“I free you from evil!” Ladybug cried as she swung her yoyo to catch the escaped akuma. “Gotcha! Bye bye, little butterfly.”

She turned back to her partner for their customary fist-bump. “Well played!”

Unlike Papillon, the rest of Paris was celebrating as they watched the continuing broadcast of Ladybug and Chat Noir. Realizing Pascal was about to be unmasked on live TV, Ladybug gestured awkwardly to Mme. Chamack to cut the feed. She obliged, grabbing a microphone and popping in front of the camera for a quick sign off. “And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen! Another villain defeated by Ladybug and Chat Noir. More on this story later as we return you to your regularly scheduled broadcasts.”

Satisfied, Ladybug grabbed her squirt gun and cried, “Miraculous Ladybug!” to activate her cure spell. As the squirt gun disappeared into the void, a shower of ladybugs burst forth to remedy any damage caused by the akuma; including the repairs of Pascal’s hologram projectors. Suddenly back to normal, Pascal looked around in confusion. Ladybug handed him his newly restored remote. “I believe this belongs to you.”

“Ladybug!” Pascal exclaimed. “What am I doing here?”

On the other side of the studio, Alec Cataldi grabbed a microphone and waggled it temptingly at him. “Hey, kiddo! Care for an interview?”

Chat Noir grimaced at Ladybug. “We’d better get him back to school.” She nodded in agreement and Chat promptly grabbed Pascal around the waist, carrying him under his arm like a football.

“Sorry! No comment!” Ladybug called back as they dashed out of the room.

“They got away,” Alec noted, turning to his coworker. “That’s a shame. Have we ever had a gender-bent akuma before?” Mme. Chamack shrugged as she watched the teens flee in amusement.

 

 

 

Ladybug checked that the coast was clear in the courtyard before swinging down from where she and Chat Noir had perched on the roof of the school. Spying around, she scanned the empty locker room before waving to signal Chat to come down. He artfully swung down from his baton pole like the expert showman he was, still holding Pascal, who was having a blast. They ushered him into the locker room.

“Here you are; safe and sound,” Ladybug declared.

“So I guess I turned into an akuma, huh?” Pascal asked awkwardly.

“Kind of,” Chat offered gently. “But that’s all in the past! Look at it this way; now your equipment should be fixed and you got to meet Ladybug and the dangerously handsome Chat Noir in person. You even pulled off the best Ladybug impersonation Paris has ever seen. All and all, I’d call that a win.”

“Ladybug impersonation?”

“You turned into a Ladybug look-a-like and tried to convince all of Paris you were the original. You even flirted with Adrien Agreste, not that I blame you,” Chat explained. Ladybug silently agreed.

Pascal had looked horrified at the former statement but had to bite back a startled laugh at the latter. “Oups… Well, that’s embarrassing. Sorry, Ladybug,” Pascal said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

She shook her head. “Think nothing of it.”

“I guess I owe Adrien an apology too,” Pascal chuckled.

“I doubt he minded that much.”

“Well, I guess thanks again… for defeating me,” Pascal mused. “I’m glad the equipment’s fixed. Getting Chloé to pay damages was going to be the pits.”

“Chloé?” the supers gasped in unison.

“Chloé Bourgeois was the one who broke your equipment?” Chat repeated wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose as if to ward off a headache. He was going to have to try to have a talk with that girl.

“What else did she do?” Ladybug asked testily, thinking back to Pascal’s earlier admissions to Marinette. Her earring beeped to remind her of her time limit. She ignored it.

Pascal averted his gaze and Ladybug knew exactly what must have happened. Chat didn’t know what Marinette had said to the younger student earlier, but her council had clearly been laid to waste by Chloé’s continued harassment. “Why exactly is she so mean to you? It’s not like you know each other,” he complained.

Pascal shrugged, avoiding the issue. “She didn’t like the hologram I made of Ladybug or something.”

“A life-size hologram of myself is the coolest tribute I’ve ever had the honor of receiving. If that was the issue, I could simply tell Chloé that it had Ladybug’s personal endorsement,” Ladybug countered. “But that’s not the main issue, is it?”

“No,” Pascal sighed. “I guess she also sorta said I was gay… and called me a she-male… and a bunch of other homophobic and transphobic things. She seemed to get the two confused.”

“You should never let someone disparage you for your orientation, whatever it is,” Chat Noir cut in. “Trust me as a model—o-of… _behavior_ … I can say for certain that those things don’t matter in a person.”

Pascal gave a weak smile. “I know, I know. I mean, I _do_ know that but… it’s hard to defend my orientation when I don’t even know what it _is_. I haven’t really figured it out yet and the idea of getting ousted already is kind of messing with my head.”

Chat, who was quite a bit taller than Pascal, bent down so they were face-to-face. “Let me ask you something… if you had to marry one of your classmates _right now_ , who would it be?”

“What?” Pascal asked, nonplused. “I don’t know.”

“Why? Don’t you want to get married?”

“No… not in middle school.”

“Exactly!” Chat cried grandly, sweeping his arms wide. “It’s ok not to know yet. You don’t have to know all the answers _right this minute_! You can figure things out slowly as you get older and when you have more confidence and when you’re more comfortable in your own skin. The important thing is you be yourself and that you’re happy with who you are in the meantime. When you’re happy with the big picture, you can sort out the details as you go.”

Ladybug had not been expecting such a sudden passionate speech from her partner. At most, she had hoped that maybe getting approval from his idol would help Pascal accept who he was without worry. She found herself unexpectedly glowing with pride that her usually goofy cat was actually taking something seriously and in just the right way. Flirting and puns aside, she was glad to have this man as her partner.

“Good kitty,” Ladybug cooed, scratching Chat under the chin. Chat Noir instinctively leaned into it, in instant total bliss, before coming to his senses. They were not alone and their audience was laughing at them—or rather, him.

Straightening up, Chat cleared his throat. “Anyway—you don’t have to figure out your ultimate true self right now. Self-discovery and change is a part of growing up. Got that?” he did his best to sound authoritative rather than like the swooning idiot he had presented a few seconds ago.

“I understand,” Pascal grinned. “Thank you.”

“He’s goofy, but right,” Ladybug added with a wink. “We’d better get going. Call me if Chloé picks on you, okay?”

Pascal waved as the two heroes ran out of the room. Parting in the courtyard, they exited via the roof in opposite directions to the respective appointments they were both late for. Chat Noir detransformed in the bushes along the side of the school and had to double back to make it to his fencing lessons. Ladybug only had to swing across the street to land on the rooftop of her home. Marinette again, she quickly ducked in through her skylight and swapped out her school books with her Miraculous History lesson notes.

“That was a good thing you and Chat Noir did today for Pascal,” Tikki beamed.

“I think most credit should go to Chat for once,” Marinette remarked. “If only he were that serious more often.”

Tikki giggled. “Then he wouldn’t be Chat Noir!”

Marinette laughed too. “That’s for sure.”

“And you, you wouldn’t be Marinette if you weren’t very late,” Tikki teased.

“ACK!” Marinette yelped as she looked at the clock and immediately bolted out the door.

 

 

 

The next morning Marinette looked around the courtyard, popping up on her tiptoes to search for the shorter Pascal. She unintentionally spotted Adrien out of habit, but she wasn’t looking for him today. Or so she thought. As she moved around a group of students, she realized that standing next to Adrien was none other than Pascal himself. She dashed over, past Pascal’s two friends, Flore and Guillaume, who seemed wary to approach when their classmate was talking to such a renowned older student.

“Pascal!” Marinette called as she hurried over. “Oh, and good Adrien—morning, I mean good morning, Adrien. Euh, that—how are you doing today, Pascal? I heard Cholé broke your equipment.” She quickly gave up on talking to Adrien before she got worse.

“I’m FINE,” Pascal insisted good-naturedly. Everyone keeps asking me that. The equipment’s fixed—lucky for the mayor’s wallet. My dad was more upset that I left it ‘lying about unattended’ after school.” Adrien and Marinette both knew the cause of that was getting akumatized but neither of them let on

“So you’re… okay now?” Marinette asked pointedly.

Pascal smiled. “Yeah. Thanks for hearing me out yesterday. Ladybug and Chat Noir talked to me too, which was super awesome. They’re really nice, on top of everything. I think for now I’m going to take things a day at a time and just focus on being myself without worrying about the labels.”

“Sounds like a great plan,” Marinette smiled in relief.

She glanced up and shared a brief look with Adrien, who couldn’t help but beam with satisfaction that his words had helped. Her composure began to crumble under the heat of his warm gaze but before she could turn away in embarrassment, his smile faltered. She figured out why when she was suddenly grabbed from behind.

“Hey, girl! What’s up?” Alya greeted her cheerfully, before noticing the other two. “Hey, Adrien. Pascal. How’s the hologram?”

“Ladybug’s doing just fine. Actually, I was thinking maybe I’d make a Chat Noir after all.”

“Seriously?” Adrien asked a little too excitedly.

“Yeah, he’s grown on me. And you can’t have Ladybug without Chat Noir,” Pascal remarked amicably.

“That’s awesome—it’ll be a virtual super duo!” Alya replied with enthusiasm. “They can be the heroes of virtual Paris!”

“I think I prefer the real-world Paris—no offense to you or Ladybugville, I just don’t think digital escapades are for me,” Marinette mused, thinking back to the previous day’s escapades.

“Ladybugville?” Adrien asked in amusement.

“That’s the name of my city in my _TownWorld_ game,” Alya explained. “It’s super great, but don’t worry; you’re excused from recruitment. I don’t think I’ll be playing it as much either.”

“Why? What happened?” asked Marinette.

Alya sniggered. “You haven’t heard? Nino dropped his phone in the fountain yesterday. He was playing while walking in the park and…” she broke off in a fit of giggles.

“No way!” Adrien exclaimed. He hadn’t heard of this latest development.

“He has to get a new phone and he’s lost all his data,” Alya explained, trying and failing to keep the amusement off her face. “Spielberg didn’t sync up his phone to his other devices properly. Now if he wants to keep playing, he’ll have to start all over.”

“So I guess you win by default?” Marinette suggested.

“A hollow victory,” Alya said in mock-solemnity. “But I’m the victor, to be sure. And do you know what I’m going to do with all this free time?”

“What?”

 “Spend more time with my best friend. Later boys, I’m stealing this one for myself!” Alya winked and wrapped her arm around Marinette’s shoulders as she led her away. Pascal and Adrien grinned at each other as the two friends walked off into the courtyard together, and laughed outright when Alya hip-checked her clumsy friend nearly off her feet.

 

 

 

**WHAT THE HAWK?!**

 

It’s time again for _What the Hawk?!_ where I try to convince an English-speaking audience that my jokes would be hilarious if they understood more French.

_Goûter_ is a small, optional meal between 4 and 6 pm like British afternoon tea or what Americans would call a snack.

For those who don’t know, “Et tu, Brute?” is Julius Caesar’s famous last words meaning “And you, Brutus?” made famous in Shakespeare’s play, _Julius Caesar,_ when the title character is literally stabbed in the back. The phrase is used or parodied (as Marinette does) when addressing an unexpected betrayal. _Et tu_ is also how you say “and you” in French so the quote is extra snazzy, although the two are pronounced differently.

_Ben_ and _euh_ are both French vocal pauses; basically, “um, err, uh, etc.” _Bah_ is similar but it’s used more like “well.” _Bof_ is a non-word that’s the equivalent of “meh.”

French middle schools are divided into four grades, the first being 6ème, the last being 3ème, before going onto high school, which is only three years. When Marinette drops her history book, it’s confirmed the main cast is in their final year, 3éme, making them all about 14 to 15 years old. Basically, 9th grade in the American school system. Pascal always had a younger feel in my mind so I stuck him in 5ème, probably 12 or 13 years old.

Chloé isn’t randomly using Spanish; _si_ means “yes” in French as well. It’s used as an “affirmation to the contrary.” Example:  _–Chloé n’est pas stupide! –Si!_    –Chloé’s not dumb! –Yeah she is!

It can also mean “if” ( _si tu veux_ ).

_Hein_ is a term to be used with those you’re familiar with (but Chloé’s rude and does what she wants). It can mean “eh?” or “What?” depending how you use it. If someone asks you a question you don’t hear you can say _Pardon?_  to be polite, or _Hein?_ or _Quoi?_ to be familiar (or rude). You can also tack it at the end of sentences like _Tu aimes beaucoup les chats, hein?_

_Pédé_ is an offense term for a gay person.

Although I’d normally think of French names for things (since they’re in France and I can), _TownWorld_ is in English because it’s made in the US like most of the Facebook game apps of its kind. I was thinking about what these town-building games usually call themselves and it’s always something like “__Town” or “___World” and I just thought it’d be hilarious to add them together because it’s so stupid it totally sounds like a game someone would make. Nino’s bakery struggle is based off real events.

I thought of the English bakery poem in about two seconds. The French poem is essentially the same thing, although the literal translation is “It’s not my fault you cannot know; the beauty of a bakery you’ve never seen.”

_Beurk_ / _Berk_ both mean “yuck!” _Coucou_ is, once again, a cute way of saying “hiya!” or “peekaboo!” Used in the former in this case, the latter in the previous chapter. Don’t ask what _Merci_ means.

_Coccinelectric_ is a hybrid of _Coccinelle_ (“ladybug”) and _electric_ (“electric”). In English (as if this episode could get passed US censors lol), her name would probably be “Lady Bolt,” but I, personally, like to think it would be Electric Bugaboo (the title of this chapter). Not gonna lie, 90% of the reason I actually started writing fanfics instead of just thinking about them was to share that pun with the world. (The rest is 8% French jokes and maybe 2% amusing friends.) We’ve never had a villain change genders before but I thought it was a really interesting dynamic to have Pascal and Coccinelectric be the same person but refer to them in different pronouns.

The name Pascal could be a clever reference to Blaise Pascal; a French philosopher, mathematician, and inventor. Or it could be just because I like the name Pascal. Guillaume is the French version of “William” and Flore is “Flora.” I didn’t give Pascal and friends surnames, since it seemed unlikely to come up.

_Mais non_ is “but no!” or “why, no” as we would more commonly say. _La vache!_ Is an informal expression conveying a large range of intense emotions—from surprise, delight, admiration, compassion, and more. It literally means “the cow!” but you can think of it as saying “holy cow!” in English. It can also mean “blimey,” “wow,” “bloody hell,” “oh my god,” “I’ll be damned,” or “bugger (it)!”

_Mince!_ means “darn it!” or “drat!”

_La garce!_ is pretty much the same as yelling “BITCH!”

Coccinelectric’s powers were supposed to be very digital and computer-related and I came up with the idea of a virtual Paris as a solution to the problem of fighting on a level playing field. It ended up serving as an unintended throwback to Lady Wifi when she teleported in and out of people’s phones but nowadays everything has a computer, especially smartphones, so what can you do? “The Digital World,” as I called it (which later prompted Chat Noir’s Digimon reference), was also reminiscent of Pixelator. The rule was that she could control or delete anything in Virtual Paris but she couldn’t affect things from the real world—like Ladybug. She couldn’t delete Ladybug or Chat Noir or their weapons. She was kind of a mishmash of familiar powers so I wanted to be sure to explain that unlike Antibug or _L’Imposter_ (Copycat), Coccinelectric doesn’t possess any of Ladybug’s powers. She’s a visual copy only. And voice. Ladybug’s face with a twelve year-old boy’s voice would be a dead giveaway.

_Ouille!_ means “ow/ouch,” as does _Aïe!_ and _Ouïe!_ but I chose to use the one without the umlaut.

Numéric = Pixelator

Most people in this fandom will know about the nicknames: _Chaton_ means “kitten” and is something Ladybug occasionally calls Chat Noir in order to be affectionate or patronizing. _Minou_ (“kitty”) is used much the same way. I don’t use these nicknames as excessively as some of the other fanfictions because they don’t really use them that often in the show. It’s the same with how Chat Noir will actually call Ladybug by name instead of just saying Milady all the time (milady is a legitimate English word, as well as being “my lady” in French). I just wanted to address this and get it over with so I don’t have to explain it every time.


	3. Cirque du Sheep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M NOT DEAD!!!!!
> 
> So I know I said not to expect prompt updates but this was definitely longer a wait than expected. I won't bore you with the details, but basically I got busy and then life. Life happened. As it's wont to do.  
> The only thing you need to know about this chapter is that we're taking a break from any themes and just having fun. Not all chapters will try to be serious. I'm just doing whatever I please.
> 
> Reminder that this is all PRE-SEASON TWO and that I am NOT up to date on all the new episodes. I have seen some, but let's just assume that I or others in the comments are ignorant and avoid spoilers, shall we? Thank you for your cooperation. And now some silly fanfiction.

It was quiet in the bakery as Marinette sat doing her homework behind the counter. There were no customers since the store was closed. Her parents had gone out again and left her to wait for a pickup. She’d elected to wait in the bakery for the customer to make up for the last time when she’d been across town and nearly missed the pickup. Marinette’s diligence was starting to wear on her, however, since even though the store lights were mostly off and there was a sign on the door saying “closed,” people still thought they were open. Most people (she’d lost count of how many) had tried the door or knocked before figuring it out and moving on, but there were a few stubborn idiots who tried to negotiate with her to open the door and let them in or insisted that they couldn’t be closed if there was an employee present. The worst was a foreign tourist who didn’t speak a word of French or seemingly any language Marinette recognized. She was eventually able to explain the situation through the closed door with a combination of bad English and pantomime until the tourist stopped banging on the door and left.

Another knock sounded on the door, which Marinette ignored. She waited for them to notice the sign and leave but the knocking continued more enthusiastically. She sighed and put down her pencil. She was starting to think she was going to have to hide behind the counter. “Sorry, we’re closed today—closed! _NOT-OPEN,”_ she added the last bit in English for good measure.

“ _Not open_?” Alya repeated the English phrase in amusement. “Who were you expecting?”

“Alya!” Marinette exclaimed, noticing her friend’s face in the window. “I can’t open the door until someone picks up the cake for M. Damocles. Go around back and I’ll let you in.”

Tikki hid in the bakery, standing watch in case one of the teachers came in the short time it took Marinette to let Alya in a side door.

“Stay hidden,” Marinette warned her friend as she resumed her post at the desk. “If they see too many people they’ll think we’re open.”

“I’ll be a ghost! They’ll never know I was here!” Alya giggled, ducking down.

“So? Why has such a charming ghost come to visit me? Not that you need a reason,” Marinette added. “It’s just unexpected.”

“I’ve come with a scoop!” Alya beamed. “You know my dad works at the _Ménagerie du Jardin des Plantes?_ Well, he says they’re setting up an outdoor exhibit with a petting zoo for a limited time! I’m taking my sisters; I thought you’d want to take Manon.”

“That sounds like an excellent idea! Manon would love that!” Marinette agreed. “I was supposed to babysit her soon.”

“Then we’ll go then. I’ll tell Nino.”

“Nino?”

“Yeah, I’m taking Nino and my sisters. Kind of like a two-in-one date and babysitting,” Alya explained.

“Babysitting on a date? Are you crazy?” Marinette exclaimed. “You won’t have any time for Nino.”

“You forget; I’m a pro. I can handle keeping my two favorite munchkins in line _and_ chilling with the boyfriend. Nino’s low-maintenance anyway. Besides, now you’ll be there,” Alya grinned in lazy reassurance as she texted Nino on her phone. “You’re still in, right?”

“He’s your boyfriend, so if the two of you are fine with it, so am I. I’ll call Mme. Chamack tonight,” Marinette shrugged.

“Excellent,” Alya grinned wickedly.

 

 

 

“That’s seventeen in a row!” Max cheered as a popcorn kernel sailed smoothly into Kim’s open mouth.

Nino paused before grabbing more popcorn at the sound of his phone buzzing. “Hold on—my cell,” he announced.

“Make it quick—I’m on fire!” Kim boasted.

Nino, Kim, and Max were hanging out in the park together, trying to see how many pieces of popcorn Kim could catch in his mouth in a row. Nino was throwing; Max was in charge of counting and filming. Nino’s text from Alya told him exactly what he’d been hoping to hear; Marinette was coming to the zoo with them. The moment Alya broached the idea of bringing Marinette along, Nino had the perfect plan to turn their “date” with kids to a _double_ _date_ with kids. His girlfriend had, of course, vehemently agreed and operation “set Marinette and Adrien up on a double date without them knowing” was a go.

“Hold on a sec, bros—I’ve got a phone call to make.”

 

 

 

Growing up in the fashion world of Paris, Adrien had seen a lot of weird clothes, especially when it came to _haute couture_. But this; this took the cake. He was standing backstage in his latest photo-shoot’s dressing room in the worst thing he’d ever worn. The designer whose costume he was wearing had centered his latest line around clothing with lots of decorative zippers. Specifically, zippers with overlarge, elongated zipper pulls with a D-shaped ring at the end (D for Desper, the designer’s name). Most unfortunately, he had kept the look for the main zipper on the pants Adrien now wore, creating a noticeably phallic look. The top was supposed to be some sort of strappy nonsense with spikes and harem sleeves that he hadn’t even figured out how to put on. The final look seemed to be some sort of futuristic medieval archer slash sex slave. He had to stuff Plagg in his bag to muffle his raucous laughter. He hadn’t known kwamis could cry until his had laughed himself to tears.

He cracked open the door to his dressing room and flagged down Nathalie. “I can’t wear this,” he told her simply, hiding behind the door for decency.

“Adrien, I know you don’t usually model this type of clothing, but your father worked very hard on this collaboration. He rarely does _haute couture_ and his partner, M. Desper, is well known for his _avant-garde_ looks. Questionable as his taste might sometimes be, you’re going to have to wear his designs,” Nathalie explained, her professional demeanor not betraying her inner sympathies.

“I know,” Adrien replied, opening the door to reveal his costume. “I just thought _this_ might be a little… _off brand_.”

Nathalie took one look at the prominent crotch of his pants and pulled out her phone. “The contract only states that you must wear one of M. Desper’s original designs. Sit tight. I’ll see if he has anything else for you.”

“Thanks, Nathalie!” he called as she left to get down to business. He shut the door and was about to tackle the arduous task of getting out of the tight pants and into something decent when his phone rang.  “ _Allô_ , Nino, I can’t talk long—I’m at a shoot.”

“Nice—what are you wearing?”

Dick pants. “Oh, I’m half-naked in a saucy little number. You’d love it,” he replied.

“Sounds sexy. So, how do you feel about the zoo?” Nino asked.

Adrien laughed. The abrupt shift in the middle of their mock-seductive banter only served to remind him of how the zoo had been the first place his friend had thought to take his crush on a date. “Why? We going on a date?”

“You bet your sweet ass we are.”

“My sweet ass is intrigued. I don’t think I can borrow these clothes, though, so you’ll have to settle for something PG13,” Adrien joked. In reality, he’d never be caught dead in this affront to decency in public—or anywhere else for that matter.

“Better make it PG, we’ve got kids coming,” Nino explained. “It’s a group date.”

“Oh? Who’s coming?”

“There’s a new petting zoo exhibit so Alya and I are taking her two kid sisters. Alya was going to get Marinette to come and she’ll probably bring that girl she always babysits.”

“It’s Manon, right?”

“Oh, you know her?” Nino asked in surprise.

“Yeah, we’ve met,” Adrien admitted. Of course he remembered. She was one of the more difficult akuma he’d faced and she turned him into a puppet. “She joined me at a photo-shoot in the park once. Anyway, I’m in. I could do with some bunny snuggling.”

“Great! I’ll text you the details,” Nino concluded the call and tossed another piece of popcorn at Kim. “I’m probably the best matchmaker in class. Just call me M. Cupid.”

Kim caught the popcorn and made a face at Max. “Just because he has a girlfriend now, he thinks he’s hot shit. We should go to the zoo too.”

“Are you crazy?” Max protested. “Not after last time!”

“Oh, come on! I’ll leave the carnivores alone. We can just go to the petting zoo!” Kim argued.

“So you can race goats and challenge llamas to a spitting contest? No, thank you. You’ll just end up head-butted, spit on, and probably kicked by a pony or bitten by rabbits.”

Kim was about to argue when he failed to notice Nino throw another piece of popcorn. The kernel bounced off the side of his head, ruining his streak. He grumbled in defeat.

 

 

 

“The zoo! THE ZOOOOOO!” chanted Manon excitedly when Marinette arrived at her house to pick her up.

“Thank you very much for taking her, Marinette,” Mme. Chamack smiled tiredly as her daughter hopped around her feet. “She’s been excited all morning.”

“It’s no trouble, really. I was already going with my friends,” Marinette answered cheerfully.

“ _Ben_ , how much are tickets?” Mme. Chamack asked, pulling out her wallet.

“9€ but my friend Alya might have some discount coupons we can use. Her dad works there.”

“I’ll give you the full amount to be sure—and some for lunch…” she handed over the money and added in a whisper, “And some extra just in case. Knowing her, she’ll be desperate for souvenirs.” She winked conspiratorially.

Marinette winked back. “We’ll be sure to use it wisely. I’ll try not to spoil her too much. And we won’t overload on junk food, right Manon?” she turned to the child.

“Right!” Manon agreed, clasping her arms behind her back and smiling sweetly up at her mother in a way that indicated she had absolutely no plans of abstaining.

Her mother rolled her eyes, chuckling in resignation. “Have fun you two.”

“YEAH! THE ZOO! LET’S GO LET’S GO LET’S GO!” Manon cheered and grabbed Marinette’s hand in an attempt to pull her there faster.

Later, as they were getting off the Métro, Marinette’s phone rang. She picked up, still holding Manon’s hand as they climbed the stairs to the street. “ _Allô?_ Alya? We’re almost there.”

“It’s cool; Nino and I are just chilling with the munchkins near the entrance. We’re still waiting on Adrien,” Alya replied.

“ _QUOI?_ Adrien’s coming?” Marinette yelped. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Who’s Adrien? Is that your boyfriend?” Manon asked.

“ _Chut_ , he’s not my boyfriend,” Marinette shushed her before turning her attention back to the phone.

“Nino invited him. Since this was really more of a group outing than a date, we figured ‘why not?’” Alya snickered. “I thought it’d make a nice surprise.”

“I remember now! He’s that boy from the park!” Manon announced. “Aren’t you dating him? I thought you wanted to date him!”

“I do—well, that, we’re not dating!”

“Not _yeeeet_ but play your cards right…” heavy suggestion permeated Alya’s voice.

“I’ll see you in a minute,” Marinette deadpanned and hung up the phone. “Let’s hurry and get you to the zoo, hm?” She tried to gently guide the child by the hand but she resisted.

“But what about Adrien?” Manon pressed, digging her heals in.

Marinette sighed. “I’d like for him to be my boyfriend, but we’re not dating now. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to him, either, so let’s keep this a secret between us, OK?”

“No, but, look! There he is!” Manon insisted, pointing back toward the Métro entrance where Adrien was surfacing. He was hurrying toward them as they spoke. The second they made eye contact, he waved. “Tell him you love him!”

Marinette made a high-pitched noise of panic and turned abruptly back to Manon. Time to break out her secret weapon. She knelt down to child-level and from her bag pulled out two familiar dolls that made Manon’s eyes go wide. “Ah, listen, my feelings for him are a secret, OK? You can’t tell him because it won’t mean anything if I don’t tell him myself. So, if you keep our secret and don’t bother him with questions about us dating, I’ll let you play with Ladybug and Chat Noir, Ok? Promise?”

“Promise!” Manon agreed eagerly and the two shook pinkies on it. Marinette stood up, switching between various awkward attempted-casual poses as Adrien caught up to them. Manon frowned, unimpressed, and held out her hands expectantly for the dolls.

“Good morning, Marinette!” Adrien greeted her cheerfully. He knelt down on one knee and held out one hand to Manon. “And hello, again, to my beautiful costar. Do you remember me, Manon?” Marinette’s heart melted at the cuteness of it all.

Instead of taking his hand, Manon looked up at Marinette and pulled on the leg of her capris pants. “Marinette! Dolls!” she whined.

Marinette threw an awkward apologetic smile at Adrien before handing the dolls over and whispering, “Now, remember the promise.”

Manon took the dolls eagerly and hugged them blissfully. “I know! I’ll behave,” she smiled angelically at the both of them before reaching out for the hand Adrien had retracted when she snubbed it. “I remember you. You’re Adrien, the model. Do you like the zoo?”

Adrien smiled, rather relieved at the change in attitude. He didn’t have much experience with kids and she’d momentarily thrown him a little for loop. “ _Euh,_ average. But I’m looking forward to the petting zoo. I don’t have any pets, myself.”

“Me either,” Manon replied. “I wanted a puppy or a kitty but Maman said no. I want to pet one!”

“I don’t think they have those. I think they only have farm animals,” Marinette answered.

“What? That’s boring!”

“Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it,” Adrien responded. “I hear they usually have cute little animals like bunnies and baby chicks and supposedly sheep are really soft.”

“And you might even be able to ride a pony!” offered Marinette.

“I love cute little animals and ponies!” Manon gasped. “Let’s go let’s go let’s go!” She grabbed Marinette’s hand and began to try to pull her faster again.

“We’re already going!” Marinette protested. It was hard to walk while awkwardly stooped to hold the small child’s hand.

They easily spotted Alya’s group at the entrance. Manon gasped when she saw them and the majesty of what they were wearing on their heads; Alya sported a unicorn horn headband and her two sisters each wore animal ear headbands as well.

“Where did you get those? I love them so much!” Manon cried without preamble.

“They were presents from our Dad. They sell them at the gift shop here so the girls always want to wear them when they come,” Alya explained.

Marinette tittered with excitement. “You look fabulous.”

“Naturally,” Alya purred. “And may I introduce my sisters, Ella and Etta.” She put a hand on each sister’s head as she said their name; distinguishing Ella as wearing cat ears and Etta as wearing bear ears. “This is my friend, Marinette, and her friend, Manon. That handsome hunk of blond is Adrien—and this is my boyfriend, Nino. Do we all know each other now? Good; let’s get tickets.”

As they crossed the ticket line, Manon hopped up and down, pulling at Marinette’s clothes again. “Marinette, can we get ear headbands too?” she begged.

Marinette smiled at her. “Sure, we can go through the gift shop on the way out.”

“I don’t want them at the _end!_ I want to wear them around the park like Ella and Etta!” Manon complained. “Can we buy them first? Please, let’s buy them first?” She fixed Marinette with her most effective puppy-dog stare.

Marinette shielded her eyes. “Ah! Not the puppy-dog eyes!”

“It’s no biggie—the gift shop’s right in the middle of the park. It won’t take us long to get there,” Alya turned to her sisters. “Why don’t we do this—you guys can pick out a souvenir you want and if you’re good all day we’ll come back and buy it at the end.”

“Deal!” the twins agreed.

“To the gift shop!” declared Nino to cheers from the children.

As the Césaire siblings wandered around in search of any new products they hadn’t already seen, Marinette took Manon to the corner with the animal hats and headbands. Adrien and Nino followed.

“Hey, man. I was thinking of getting one of these hats. Which one should I get?” Nino asked Adrien, admiring the rack of various animal hats.

“How about a monkey?” Adrien teased.

“Nah. I was actually thinking the monkey but its face is a little…”

“Yeah, he looks dumb. Ooh! You should get the turtle. He looks like you.”

“How? Anyway, I think that’s a tortoise,” Nino countered. “I’d rather get the elephant.”

“If you want the perfect hat, I’ve got the answer,” Alya declared as she popped out of nowhere and pulled off Nino’s cap. “ _Voilà!_ ” And with that, she plunked down an oversized orange top hat with four plush giraffe heads protruding from the brim, their long necks barely managing to stand upright from their own weight. “Oh, hey, the turtle does look like you.”

Nino looked in the mirror in horror as the three other teens laughed. “It’s perfect!” Adrien decreed.

“For a model, you have no taste. Marinette save me!” Nino pleaded.

Wiping a tear from her eye, Marinette briefly inspected the hats. “Go with the lion. It looks cool and its mane is well made.”

“Sold!” Nino announced, and traded the giraffe top hat for the lion-head knit cap. He left for the checkout and Alya went back to her wards.

“Marinette, you have to get a headband like me!” Manon ordered, waving a handful of various headbands for emphasis. She turned to look sweetly up at Adrien. “And Adrien, you’ll wear one too?”

Before Marinette could object, Adrien agreed—he had already been planning on getting one anyway. God knows he looked good in cat ears. “Sure, I’ll get something. Which one should I buy?”

“Hmmmm…” Manon, greatly pleased at being put in charge, considered him carefully. “This one! The tiger!”

 _Oups._ Bad idea. Even if they were orange striped and not straight black, he was vehemently opposed to wearing cat ears as Adrien. The last thing he needed was to look more like Chat Noir. “ _Euuuuh_ …” he floundered. “What about these ones? I could be a bunny?” He picked up some white rabbit ears and put them on. Bunny ears had to be safe. The shape was different enough it shouldn’t jog any memories.

Marinette had to resist the urge to pull out her phone and take pictures and instead focused on burning the image into her memory.

“No! I wanna be the bunny!” Manon whined.

“Ah, then you’re the bunny…” he faltered submissively. At a complete loss, Adrien handed over the bunny ears. What did she want from him?

Sensing his distress, Marinette came to the rescue and placed the tiger ears on her own head. “Then, why don’t I be the tiger?” God bless that girl.

Manon studied the effect carefully and seemed to raise no objections. But just when it seemed settled, Ella came around the corner and cried, “No! But _I’m_ the tiger!”

Marinette hadn’t noticed before but Ella was right; her cat ears were actually striped tiger ears. She glanced over her other options and came up with a solution to please both children. “Then why don’t I get these panther ears? They’re a different color, so they’re different enough. We can both be different kinds of cats,” she plunked the black panther ears on her head and struck a “cat” pose like she’d seen Chat Noir do a million times. “See? Rawr!” she said in comical imitation before giggling at how silly she felt. The two kids joined in the giggling and the headband was approved.

Adrien hid his grin behind his hand and looked away. He felt like his whole body was smiling. That was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen.

“Ella? Don’t go off on your own,” Alya came around the corner, holding Etta’s hand. She spotted Marinette in the black cat ears. “Very cute, Marinette. You’re going for a Chat Noir vibe?”

Marinette laughed. “I’ll need a belt for a tail,” turning to Manon, she bowed slightly and held out her arm in her best Chat Noir impression. “Those ears look _purrfect_ on you. Shall I escort you to the checkout, Princess?”

Adrien couldn’t stop the flush creeping across his face. Watching Marinette do an impression of him was making him feel tingly and warm. He’d forgotten he’d once played “knight in shining armor” with her and spent an evening calling her Princess. He hadn’t done that with anyone else, but Marinette had no way of knowing that nickname was hers alone. She was playing him as smooth as hell but the playful impersonation still made him embarrassed in ways he couldn’t explain. Besides, those ears looked very cute on her. He hadn’t quite pulled himself together when Manon brought the attention back on him.

“Not yet! Adrien still doesn’t have ears!” she objected.

“I don’t know if Adrien wants a headband,” Marinette supplied gently.

“No—I do,” Adrien said quickly. Was he still blushing? “Which one should I get? We already have two cats, so… a bear? No, Etta’s a bear…” He looked frantically at his options for something that didn’t scream _Chat Noir_.

“He should be a giraffe,” Etta suggested.

“Yeah, he’s tall,” Ella agreed.

“That’s it!” Manon approved and pulled out a headband with large giraffe ears and two spotted ossicones. “It’s perfect.”

“I love it!” Adrien relaxed inwardly and put them on. “How does it look?”

“You look stupid; it’s perfect,” Nino said and gave a thumbs up.

“Says the turtle in the fuzzy lion hat,” Adrien countered.

“I don’t look like a turtle!”

They bought their wares and gathered outside the shop around Alya’s map. “The petting zoo exhibit is supposed to be by the Vivarium. We should walk around the zoo first and then pet the messy animals after lunch.”

“I want to go to the petting zoo first!” Manon objected.

“You don’t want to get dirty before lunch do you?” Marinette explained, kneeling down to Manon’s level. “I know you’re excited, but why don’t you be a good little _lapin_ and wait?” she booped Manon on the nose playfully.

Manon considered this unhappily before a glance at Adrien gave her a better idea. She sidled up to him and grabbed his hand. “Then, me, I’ll go with Adrien around the zoo. We’ll be new best friends, us two. He’ll be my biggest friend and I’ll be his _petite amie_ ,” Manon looked challengingly at Marinette. “Ah, y’know, you don’t have a _petite amie_ … do you, Adrien?”

“ _Euh_ , no, I’m not dating anybody,” Adrien replied in confusion.

“Why not?” Manon asked angelically, staring up at him with sparkling innocent eyes. “Aren’t there any girls who like you?”

Marinette gasped in dramatic horror and grabbed Alya’s arm, pulling her to the side. She had to stop this before Manon caused any permanent damage. Adrien, meanwhile, was confused as to where the sudden interrogation was coming from. “That—that’s not the issue,” he objected hopelessly.

“Hmm? Then is there a girl _you_ like?”

“ _Euh_ —well—that is, _euh_ …” He was beginning to think he couldn’t handle kids.

“We have to go to the petting zoo first!” Marinette hissed.

“What?” Alya objected. “That doesn’t make any sense. The logical order should be—”

“I know, I know! But if we don’t do as she asked, I’m afraid Manon’s going to blab all my secrets to Adrien,” Marinette clutched her head in despair. “I should never have given her her bribe in advance!” Was it too late to take away the dolls? Definitely; Manon would undoubtedly throw a public tantrum if the dolls were snatched, even if she wasn’t keeping her promise.

“Rookie mistake,” Alya agreed. “But is it so bad if she blabs? She’s doing a good job asking questions, she makes a great double agent. Why not let her play matchmaker? It’s about time to let him know how you feel.”

“But I need to tell him myself, not Manon!”

“Ok, so tell him,” Alya said simply.

“Are you _crazy?!_ ” Marinette demanded, abruptly grabbing the front of her friend’s shirt before just as suddenly letting go. “I can’t! I’m not ready! What if he doesn’t like me back? What if he gets uncomfortable and it gets too weird to stay at the zoo with me and he goes home? What if he thinks I orchestrated this trip, using children as an excuse to set myself up on a date with him?”

“You didn’t—Nino and I used children to get him to go on a date with you.”

Marinette was no longer capable of listening. She gasped in horrified realization. “What if he thinks I told Manon to say all those things? What if he thinks I’m some terrible stalker who follows him to the zoo and manipulates children into getting him to like me?” Her thoughts began to play out in her head like a dramatic film noir: a shadowy Marinette bribing Manon with a suitcase full of dolls and candy; Marinette in trench coat and fedora, tailing Adrien from the shadows; all of them in formal dress as Manon dramatically points the finger at Marinette at a swanky party; a disappointed Adrien popping the collar of his trench coat as he boards a plane, leaving a crying Marinette alone on the tarmac. “He’ll leave for sure! And he’ll hate me and I’ll never even be able to talk to him at school! I’ll lose him forever and everything will be ruined!”

“Ok, ok, slow your roll,” Alya interrupted, somewhat amused. “Calm down, I get it already. We don’t tell Adrien anything and we keep the kid in check.”’

They returned their focus to the group to find that the twins had joined in the interrogation. Nino, who looked extremely entertained, was doing nothing to stop this.

“But don’t all models have girlfriends?” Etta asked.

“No,” Ella answered sagely. “They’re all playboys so they date many women at once but none of them are their official girlfriends.”

“Oh, I see.”

“NO!” Adrien objected fiercely. “Where did you even hear about something like that?”

“TV.”

“Ok!” Alya clapped her hands together to capture the group’s attention. “It’s been decided we’re going to the petting zoo first!”

“ _Youpi!_ ” cheered Manon.

“Really? But I thought—” Nino started to object but Alya made a motion to shush him. Adrien was so glad to be rescued he didn’t much care where they were going. “Ah, well, petting zoo it is.”

Marinette reached for Manon’s hand but the devious child danced out of the way and grabbed onto Adrien instead, pulling him playfully by the hand as she’d done with Marinette. “Hurry, Adrien! Let’s go pet the little animals!” She was not about to give up her leverage easily but Marinette wasn’t backing down either. She took Manon’s other hand and winked at Adrien. “Ready? Swing!”

Adrien had watched enough TV in his time to know where she was going with this. Together they hoisted the small girl up and swung her gently between them before setting her back down. Manon laughed gleefully and quickly forgot her original goal; demanding they do it again and again periodically as they all walked hand-in-hand (family style, Marinette noted) towards the petting zoo. Alya’s sisters had wanted to try it too, but lacking the numbers to pull it off, Alya and Nino simply picked up a child each and carried them on their shoulders while holding hands themselves. In what felt like no time at all they reached the enclosure with the petting zoo. Unsurprisingly, they could smell it before they saw it.

A short plump man in an ill-fitting button-down and cargo shorts sat up from his chair at their approach. He looked grumpy and particularly harassed as he sized up the group. His name tag read _Mathais C_.

“Three kids then?” he asked.

“We’d like to go in too, if that’s alright, sir,” Adrien offered politely.

“Hmph! Fine by me; better to have somebody keep an eye on young children. I’m not a babysitter,” Mathais grumbled. He gave them each an empty feeding bag and they exchanged a few euros for smaller coins to operate the various food dispensers.

While he was occupied with the new group, the four children already in the enclosure were running wild. “ _Hé,_ Clotaire! Look! I can fit a whole peanut up the donkey’s nose!” the smallest boy shouted to one of his friends.

“Alceste! Stop eating the food! I wanna feed the pony!” the only girl complained.

“You’re not the boss of me,” her chubby companion retorted, shoving more food from the feed bag into his mouth.

The other boy stomped around making monster noises as the chicks and ducklings scattered about to avoid getting squished. “Fear me chickens! Nothing can stop Mega Clotaire!” he cackled.

“I said cut it out!” The little girl punched the boy named Alceste in the arm. He cried out and spat out the wad of half-chewed food in his mouth onto an unsuspecting rabbit below.

“Lousiette! Louisette! Watch this!” the short boy called from his position on the fence. “Geronimo!” he called and jumped from the top of the fence to the ground, nearly missing the terrified goat he’d tried to mount. “ _Zut!_ ”

“Hey, you four!” Mathais roared. “I told you brats to cut it out! That’s enough! Get out!”

“You can’t tell us what to do!” Clotaire challenged.

“ _Oh, really_?” Mathais said sardonically. “In fact, as the overseer of this exhibit it’s _my job_ to tell you what to do. And I’ve told you enough times to stop mistreating the animals! Out! Out with you!”

The four children obliged and exited the gate he opened for them, though not without complaint. Louisette stuck her tongue out at him and Clotaire kicked him in the shins. “Ouille!” Mathais bellowed, grabbing his shin in pain as the little devils laughed and ran for it.

Mathais was reluctant to let them in after the last group but eventually conceded after they promised to behave properly. Manon allowed Marinette to stow the dolls back in her purse to protect them from getting dirty.

Alya immediately assigned Nino to picture duty, a mantle he agreed to take up on the condition that he still got some bunny snuggling time. Marinette helped Manon fill her feed bag and lifted her up to pet the taller animals. The sheep in the enclosure took a strange liking to Adrien, swarming around him and following him around the whole time like some sort of Sheep Lord. The strangest was a goat, apparently named Lester, who stuck to Adrien’s side religiously and head-butted Marinette in the shins every time she got too close.

“Adrien! Adrien! Look, I’m on a pony!” Manon cried ecstatically as Marinette adjusted her in the saddle.

“Wow, that’s cool!” Adrien assured her, walking over and stroking the pony’s mane. “Want me to walk you around the enclosure?”

“Yeah!”

“Hold on tight,” Marinette instructed, showing her how to grip the horn of the saddle while Adrien took the reins.

“Wait—picture first!” Nino ordered, waving his hand for Adrien and Marinette to get in frame.

They posed and Nino snapped off a few pictures. The pony whinnied in impatience and Marinette and Adrien both reached out to stroke her at the same time.

“She’s beautiful; the pony,” Adrien said, smiling at Marinette.

“Beautiful,” Marinette repeated, losing herself in Adrien’s eyes.

The sound of hooves brought her out of her stupor with a jolt. She screamed, knowing what was coming, and ran across the pen as Lester the goat charged at her. She crashed into the fence before half jumping, half falling over the side and landing hard on her backside.

Alya, who had of course filmed the whole thing, was nearly crying with laughter. “You OK, girl?” she managed to ask, clutching her stomach.

“I think my dignity is bruised the most,” Marinette grumbled, rubbing her sore bottom.

“Marinette! Are you alright?” asked a familiar voice with concern.

They turned to look, to find a worried Mylène walking over.

“I’m OK,” Marinette replied. “What are you doing here, Mylène?”

Mylène smiled. “I’m meeting Ivan here. We’re having a petting zoo date, same as you. Hey, Nino, Adrien!” She waved.

The boys waved back and Alya introduced Mylène to the kids. Since she didn’t want to go in without her boyfriend, Marinette chatted with Mylène outside the enclosure (where it was safer) while the others played with the animals. Adrien walked Manon around the enclosure on the pony and Nino sat down on the cleanest patch of ground available while the twins helped Alya pile all the bunnies she could on him.

“Your ears look fantastic by the way,” Mylène commented. “We should get some too.”

Marinette giggled at the thought. “What are you going to have Ivan wear? They’re not his usual style, for sure.”

Mylène laughed. “That’s true! I think he’ll look adorable, though. Perhaps a matching couple pair?” she mused.

“You two are seriously adorable,” Marinette sighed. “You guys make a great couple.”

“Great couple or not he’s late,” Mylène remarked, reaching to grab her phone to check the time.

As if sensing their conversation, her phone chose that exact moment to ring. Marinette and Alya’s heads snapped up in horror as Manon, Ella, and Etta also looked up, but with excitement.

“Don’t tell me that’s—” Marinette began.

“THE DOUDOU LAPINOU THEME SONG!” the kids cheered. Alya smacked her palm to her forehead.

“I thought it was cute,” Mylène explained of her ringtone. “If you’ll excuse me, it’s Ivan.” She walked off to answer her phone, smiling.

“And what exactly is…” Nino began, bemused.

“ _Doudou Lapinou_?” Adrien finished for him.

“It’s a devastatingly vapid children’s show,” Alya muttered through gritted teeth. “The girls have been obsessed with it lately but it drives Marinette and I mad.”

The boys chuckled as Manon got hyped up. “Doudou Lapinou! Doudou Lapinou!” she sang. “Marinette, sing the theme song!”

“I’d rather get chased by the goat,” she grumbled quietly so Manon couldn’t hear her. She locked eyes with Alya and they made a silent agreement to change the subject.

“Say, I’m hungry!” Alya announced loudly. “Why don’t we take a break from feeding these animals and feed our own?” She tickled Etta’s stomach for good measure.

“I could do with lunch,” Nino agreed, stretching.

“Alya and I thought we’d have a picnic rather than go to one of the restaurants. They have seven different picnic areas, who wants to choose the one we go to?” Marinette asked to three different shouts of “Me!”

They gathered around the map outside of the enclosure while Marinette leaned against the fence, sighing with relief. “Ah, thank goodness it worked…”

“Tired?”

She looked up to see Adrien striding up next to her.

“I’ve always adored kids but now, just trying to keep up with them, I feel old,” he said, leaning against the fence dramatically for emphasis.

Marinette giggled, blushing slightly. “It can take some getting used to but it’s fun,” she responded.

“Oh, I’m having a blast,” Adrien replied happily. “I’m really glad you guys invited mee—eh?”

He fumbled the last word as they were both startled by the force of the fence abruptly jerking forward behind them.

“You again!” Marinette cried as she looked down at the culprit.

Lester the goat headbutted the fence post a few more times for good measure.

“That’s dangerous,” Adrien commented before casually putting an arm around Marinette’s shoulders and guiding her away from the fence. “I wonder why he’s acting like that. Are you sure you’re OK? He’s got you several times already.” Her legs were already visibly bruised from the goat’s horns.

“It’s nothing serious, a few bruises are nothing, I fall down all the time,” Marinette replied, too flustered at first to realize she’d accidentally reminded him of her clumsiness. Behind them, Mathais the attendant did his best to calm the devastated Lester, who had propped his hooves up on the gate and was bleating sadly after Adrien.

“We’ve settled on the best spot,” Alya informed them as they rejoined the group. “Shall we go?”

Manon held out her hand for Marinette, who took it. “Marinette, sing the Doudou Lapinou theme song while we walk!” Manon ordered.

Marinette smacked her hand to her forehead. She’d thought she’d forgotten. “…I’d really rather not, Manon,” she hedged.

“That’s OK! I know a different song!” Manon smiled brightly before turning towards Adrien and loudly singing, “ _Marinette est amoureuse! Elle est amoureu—_ ”

Marinette clapped a hand over her mouth. “OK! OK! I’ll do it!”

Once Marinette started, Alya’s sisters forced her to join in. The boys got out of it only because neither knew the lyrics. They sang the tedious song all the way to the picnic area and to the bathrooms to wash their hands. The singing only stopped because they had to eat lunch and Marinette bribed Manon with the return of the dolls when she finished her meal.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir save the day again! They’ve rescued the animals from—from…” Manon paused in her play-acting and turned to Marinette. “From who?”

“From Animan?” Marinette shrugged. She hadn’t brought any of the villain dolls.

“Who is Animan?” Manon asked.

“A talking panther who had the power to shapeshift into different animals.”

“A panther?” Manon repeated excitedly. “You’re a panther!”

Marinette grimaced, seeing where this was heading. She did not want to crawl around in the grass pretending to be a four-legged supervillain while Manon attacked her with dolls. Thankfully, Alya cut in. “He was also my dad. And he didn’t want to harm the animals, he wanted to protect and liberate them from people.”

He also wanted revenge on Kim for being annoying but neither superhero pointed that out. Marinette shrugged again. “I couldn’t think of any other akumas at the zoo.”

Adrien walked over to where Manon was playing. “So you made these dolls yourself?” he asked. He’d known about them, of course, since they were the very instruments of Manon’s akuma powers. But he hadn’t gotten a chance to look at them up close. They were well-made and frankly adorable in design. Would it be weird to ask Marinette to make him his own pair?

“Yeah, I made a few villains too. I was going to make more but then I, euh, changed my mind,” Marinette finished lamely. Manon didn’t remember much about being a supervillain and Marinette wasn’t keen to remind her. Or to give Papillon any more puppets to throw at her and Chat Noir. Adrien understood the subtext without her explaining.

“Mind if I play with you?” Adrien asked Manon, to her delight.

“Yeah! You can be…” Manon paused as she contemplated the enormity of her decision. “Chat Noir,” she decided, handing him the corresponding doll.

Adrien took it, grinning. “Excellent choice, Milady,” he said as the Chat Noir doll. “Ready and willing to save Paris, as _purr_ usual.”

“He doesn’t talk like that, Chat Noir!” Manon scolded him.

“I—he doesn’t?”

“I didn’t think he talked any other way,” commented Alya.

Marinette smirked from where she sat, her hand propping up her chin. “Yeah, for some reason she’s insistent about that. To be fair, I’m pretty sure she’s never actually talked to Chat Noir.”

“Oh, and you have?” Alya asked, eyebrows raised.

“Once or twice,” Marinette smirked harder.

“You’re a quick study, to have such an awesome Chat Noir impression,” Alya teased.

Marinette laughed. “It’s easy; he’s a big flirt.”

“Especially with Ladybug,” Alya agreed.

Marinette stood up in another grand Chat Noir impression. “Fancy meeting you here, Milady. Although, I think for a romantic picnic, it would be better next time for just us two?” She held out her hand to Alya, her Ladybug stand-in.

Alya pushed her hand away dramatically and said in her best Ladybug imitation, “Now’s not the time, Chat Noir! For once can’t you shelve your jokes and distractions? We must do our duty, to save Paris!” She turned away in mock-irritation before turning back and stroking a finger under Marinette’s chin. “Making out comes after work, though I’ll never admit it publicly.”

“WH— _What Kind of Ladybug impersonation is that?_ ” Marinette demanded.

“What? You know I ship them.”

Adrien stared at this exchange, bug-eyed and completely frozen. He would probably have feelings about this eventually, but they were currently frozen like the rest of him. Manon waved the Ladybug doll in front of his face, waiting for a reaction. The only thing that brought him out of it was a sudden wet feeling on the back of his head. He spun around in shock to find a goat that looked very much like Lester, happily chewing on his hair.

“What— _beurk!_ Cut it out!” he cried, trying to fend off the goat’s affections and slimy tongue.

“Isn’t that that mad goat from the petting zoo?” Nino gaped.

“How did it get here?” Marinette demanded, scrambling onto the bench for protection.

“More importantly, how do we get it back?” Adrien asked, standing up to get out of the goat’s reach.

“Try walking,” Alya suggested, highly amused. “I have a feeling it’ll follow you anywhere—much like someone we know.” Marinette glared at her.

Nino sighed. “Come on, bro. I’ll help you bring it back,” he offered.

Adrien took him up on the offer gratefully while the girls stayed behind to watch the kids. Sure enough, Lester did follow him without any prompting or coercion. They arrived on a scene of semi-chaos as Mathais the zoo attendant scrambled around, fetching errant bunny rabbits, ducklings, and sheep and herding them back into the pen. They heard laughing, and turned to find the naughty children from before reveling in the mess.

“Be free, animals!” cried the small ringleader boy to the delight of his cohorts.

“Nice one, Nicolas!” beamed Louisette.

“Where are your parents?” bellowed Mathais as more zoo workers showed up to help. “This is the last straw! You’re getting banned! You and your little friends have gotten yourselves banned from the zoo!”

The kids just laughed and ran away.

“GET BACK HERE!”

“Excuse me, sir—is this your goat?” Adrien asked, gesturing to the animal which was now lovingly trying to eat his over-shirt.

“Lester! There you are!” Mathais cried out, visibly relieved.

“D’you want some help, dude?” Nino offered, looking around in concern.

He sighed and shook his head. “That’s kind of you, young man but it’s best to leave it to the employees. Sorry for all the troubles, enjoy the rest of your visit.”

Nino caught sight of Alya’s dad in the mix and the two repeated the offer to help, but Ottis agreed with Mathais that the employees would handle it, and so the two headed back. Marinette and Alya were surprised to hear of what happened and they all decided to work their way around the zoo in the opposite direction to give things time to calm down. After the kids had trouble seeing at the first exhibit, Adrien picked Manon up and carried her on his shoulders while Alya carried Ella and Marinette took Etta. Nino used his free hands to take more pictures.

Marinette had briefly worried about leaving Manon so close to Adrien but she seemed to have forgotten her earlier schemes, aside from prompting a few more choruses of the Doudou Lapinou theme. Her new friend Adrien kept her good and distracted as they continued to play with the Ladybug and Chat Noir dolls. It was so cute Marinette had trouble concentrating on anything else and walked into a few things, to Etta’s amusement. They passed Mylène and Ivan walking hand and hand on their date. They remarked casually on the troubles at the petting zoo, but neither group seemed to let it get in the way of their fun. It was a great day at the zoo, after all.

On the other side of the zoo, however, Mathais Chastain was feeling very differently about the day, as a whole. He recounted all of the animals for a final time to confirm they’d all been rounded up. They were all accounted for and he could finally reopen the exhibit, not that he wanted to.

“Hey! Can’t we go in, yet?” complained a young girl with red bobbed hair.

“You can go in now, but you must treat the animals gently, they’re very worked up right now. I’ll let you in, if you promise to be on your best behavior, OK?” Mathais said, in a very good imitation of patience.

“Don’t want to!” shouted the hunting-cap-clad boy next to her before hurling his bag of animal feed at Mathais, who dodged. He stood fuming as he watched the kids race back to their parents, giggling madly.

“I sense the fury of a menial employee with no respect,” Papillon announced to the opening window of his lair. “The abuse, the indignation! It’s too much for any man to bear from adults, let alone from children. But, I, I have the solution!” He corrupted another akuma and sent it on its way. “Go forth, my akuma, and darken his heart!”

The butterfly flitted over the heads of the unsuspecting zoo-goers, landing unnoticed in the bowtie of its target. Mathais stood at attention and awaited orders from his new master.

“ _Dresseur Loyal,_ I am Le Papillon. I wish to offer you a deal; in exchange for bringing me the Miraculouses of Ladybug and Chat Noir, I will give you the power to take control of those beastly children who offend you. Do you accept?”

“With pleasure, Papillon,” Mathais agreed and gave in to the dark powers of the akuma. He emerged from the blackness as Dresseur Loyal, blue skinned and festooned in the epaulets and coattails of a red ringmaster’s jacket. He held a long black whip where his hands had previously been empty.

Laughing, he jumped up onto the fence of the petting zoo enclosure. “ _Mesdames_ , _Mesdamoiselles, Messieurs,_ take your seats for the show is about to begin!” he announced grandly to the surprise of the park-goers around him. Most people had the sense of mind to flee from the akuma, but a few people seemed to hold out in case this was an actual performance. “For our first act, we’ll need some volunteers—Aha! You two!” Scanning the crowd, Dresseur Loyal spotted the two small children who had whined about the delay to the reopening. The children looked excited but their frightened parents sought to take their kids and run.

Before they could do so, Dresseur Loyal raised his whip high into the air and announced, “Presenting, the opening pair in the world’s first—” he cracked the whip. “— _Cirque du Bêtes!_ ”

At the crack of the whip, the children disappeared in individual puffs of smoke and rematerialized as two young calves. Their parents screamed but the calves sauntered over to the akuma obediently. Any last stragglers under the delusion this was a performance piece instead of an akuma attack, quickly fled the scene.

Dresseur Loyal laughed maniacally. “Don’t go anywhere, ladies and gentleman, for now the greatest show on earth begins!” With another crack of his whip, the gates of the zoo closed and sealed themselves to the panic of those around them. “And now, for those four little monsters…”

 

 

 

“Did you see, did you see, Adrien? His tongue was _purple_!” Manon cried as they left the giraffe enclosure.

“Yeah, my giraffe disguise needs some work,” Adrien joked.

“Hey, did you guys hear something?” Nino asked the group.

“Define ‘something,’” Adrien told him.

“I just heard this loud echoy noise, like a gunshot or a…” he paused to think of the appropriate description and the sound rung out again. “A whip!”

Nino’s excitement over placing the sound was promptly overshadowed by the more worrying sound of people screaming.

“What’s going on?” Marinette asked worriedly.

“Akuma attack?” Alya guessed uncertainly.

“Escaped animal?” Nino suggested.

They heard another crack of a whip and suddenly all the speakers in the park began playing music.

“Is that circus music?” Adrien wondered aloud.

“Akuma attack,” Alya nodded to herself.

Nino shrugged in resignation. “Shall we proceed calmly to the exits?”

“Nah. Let’s stick around and see if we get locked in another cage. It’ll be like our first date all over again.”

“ _ALYA!_ ” Marinette scolded.

“I’m kidding; I wouldn’t put the kids in danger!” Alya laughed, before adding in a whisper to Marinette, “But if you and Adrien want to try your luck, it works like a charm. I highly recommend it.”

Marinette flushed. “Do we need to have the ‘Akuma Safety’ talk aga—”

“It’s just a joke! To the exit we go.”

Marinette and Adrien were both fidgeting and anxious. If there really was an akuma attack, they really needed to be transformed and ready to fight right about now. But neither could think of a good excuse to abandon their group and endanger the children currently riding on their shoulders. They both eventually developed different versions the same plan; get to the safety of the Métro and make an excuse before doubling back. They would just have to be quick about it.

They got to the Grand Aviary before Ella remembered she and her sister had been promised souvenirs at the end if they behaved. Alya assured her sisters that she would text their dad and have him pick up the gifts after his shift ended. Satisfied, the twins agreed to leave. The group got all the way to the Rotunda before being stopped again, this time by panicked zoo-goers who informed them of the closed off exits.

“So much for plan A,” Nino said. “Anyone have a plan B?”

Alya hoisted her sister off her shoulders and onto a nearby picnic bench. “Wait for Ladybug and Chat Noir?” she suggested.

Grinning guiltily, Ladybug’s secret identity dropped Etta down on the bench as well. Her best hope at this point was to fake a bathroom emergency. Little did she know, Adrien was mirroring her thoughts as he removed Manon from his shoulders. Neither of them got the chance.

People screamed and fled as a procession of animals walked through the crowd with Dresseur Loyal standing atop the elephant which was leading the charge. He was calling out grandly to his audience for their attention.

Adrien gasped. “Isn’t that the petting zoo attendant?”

“It… it could be!” Marinette agreed, considering the akuma carefully.

“It’s got to be!” Adrien declared. “I haven’t seen anyone else with a moustache à la Souvarov around here!”

“He—what?” Marinette faltered.

“It’s what you call that style of facial hair,” Adrien explained, shrugging.

“Oh.”

“Boys and girls of all ages, gather ‘round! The next act is about to begin!” Dresseur Loyal called out. “Do we have any volunteers? Ah, there’s some.” He turned to look menacingly at Ella, Etta, and Manon. He raised his whip into the air. “Presenting our second act…”

“NO!” Marinette shouted, realizing his intentions. She threw herself in front of the kids, arms outstretched protectively. He cracked the whip.

“ _Cirque du Bêtes!_ ”

To her horror, Marinette’s attempt to shield the kids made absolutely no difference. Three puffs of smoke erupted behind her and she found herself facing two lambs and a rabbit.

“NO! MANON!”

“ _Ella! Etta!_ ” Alya screamed in horror. Marinette tried and failed to catch Manon-the-bunny and the two lambs darted away. Alya charged at the akuma, yelling, “Give me back my sisters you piece of—” Nino had to physically restrain her and pull her away from danger.

“Watch the exits, let no one escape,” Dresseur Loyal ordered the zoo’s two brown bears who were now mysteriously wearing tutus. “The rest of you, find those four little beasts!”

“He’s going after those kids from the petting zoo!” Adrien realized.

“What should we do?” Nino asked.

“Split up and find my sisters!” Alya declared and charged off in the direction they’d fled.

“Wait! Alya!” Nino chased after her.

“No! You have to keep out of danger!” Marinette cried, stretching out her hand for an Alya who wasn’t there. Dejected, she and Adrien glanced at each other. They gave each other a quick, unconvincing smile of reassurance before muttering excuses and darting off in opposite directions.

Darting into some bushes, Marinette released Tikki from her purse. “Let’s do this! Tikki, transform me!”

At the same time, Adrien hid behind a tree. “Plagg! Transform me!” he declared.

“Don’t you ever get a day off?” Plagg complained as he was sucked into the ring.

Chat Noir sprang into action, quickly locating Ladybug, who was scanning for the akuma on the roof of the Rotunda. He hopped up next to her. “What a pleasant day for a trip to the zoo, huh, Milady?” he asked cheerfully before noticing that several of the trees had sprouted tall platforms with high wires and trapeze swings from which several monkeys in clown wigs were swinging. “Well, that’s new.”

Ladybug held up her yoyo with a shrug. “Seems as good a way to travel as any.”

He nodded and she swung up to the closest platform. Chat Noir vaulted over and retracted his baton. From their new position, Chat realized with a start that the monkeys weren’t just playing on the swings. They were traveling between posts in an organized fashion. “Look at that! He’s using the monkeys as scouts! He’s sent them to find more kids!”

Ladybug nodded grimly. “Looks like he’s found some,” she said, pointing off to the distance where Dresseur Loyal’s elephant was following a monkey that was screeching and pointing the way.

“Let’s go!”

 

 

 

“Holy shit! A real supervillain!”

Speaking little to no French, the family of American tourists had been very confused by the panic of the Parisians around them. But as Dresseur Loyal came barreling into view on his elephant, they were finally cluing in.

“Look, Babe!” the father continued excitedly. “It’s one of those akuma-things the travel pamphlet warned us about! Oh, _man_ , my followers are never going to believe this!” He then began snapping selfies and recording on his phone while his wife gathered their young children around her.

“Boys— _BOYS_ —stay close, that man is dangerous!” she snapped at her two young sons as she picked their infant sister up out of her stroller.

“Kyle, go stand next to the supervillain!” the dad suggested.

“DON’T YOU DARE!”

Dresseur Loyal understood none of the English conversation and wasn’t remotely interested in the ensuing argument. But brats were brats, in any language. “ _Cirque du Bêtes!_ ” he cracked his whip.

The mother screamed as two small goats appeared from the smoke where her sons used to be, and screamed again when she looked down and saw a baby goat where she was seconds ago protectively cradling her infant daughter. She was so surprised, she dropped the bundle that was her child.

A yoyo launched out of seemingly nowhere, wrapping around the wriggling animal and catching her before she hit the ground. Ladybug landed in front of the mother, pulling the child into her arms. Chat landed, baton twirling, next to her and adopted a fighting stance. “Leave the children alone!” Ladybug commanded.

“It’s Ladybug and Shat Noir!” the father cheered, mispronouncing Chat’s name.

“It’s _Chat_ Noir!” Chat corrected indignantly.

“Here, Madame, your child. Don’t worry, we’ll have them back to normal in no time!” Ladybug said, as she handed the woman her goat-daughter.

She accepted her child, with a blank look on her face. “…What?” she asked in English.

“Oh, euh… _eet’s o-kay_ ,” Ladybug reassured her in her best attempt at English, flashing a thumbs up for good measure. The woman just looked even more confused.

Meanwhile, Papillon was having his usual fit of ecstasy at the arrival of his teenage foes. “Yes, that’s Ladybug and Chat Noir! Get their Miraculouses!” he commanded.

“And for our third act… Get them!” Dresseur Loyal ordered his monkey minions, two of whom leaped down from the trees and platforms to attack.

“Get out of here! Your children will return to normal soon. Stay safe and leave it to us,” Chat Noir explained in perfect English. The wife nodded, abandoning their empty stroller and dragging her husband to safety.

“Show off,” Ladybug grumbled, ensnaring the leg of one of the monkeys to prevent it from jumping Chat while he was distracted.

Chat Noir threw the stroller at the other while Ladybug launched her monkey off into the distance. “I think you mean ‘impressive’ and ‘attractive,’” he smirked.

She gave him a look of disdain before chucking her yoyo around one of the platform polls and swinging up towards the akuma. He dodged her kick, wrapping his whip around her leg and throwing her off balance, sending her crashing head-first into the bushes.

Chat Noir swung his staff hard into the monkey he was battling, sending it flying and knocking the wind out of it for good measure. He quickly vaulted over the elephant to engage Dresseur Loyal and avenge his Lady. Dresseur Loyal wrapped his whip around Chat’s staff but he was expecting this, anchoring it and using it as leverage for his attacks. Dresseur Loyal couldn’t use his whip to defend himself unless he freed Chat Noir’s baton. Kicking out, Chat Noir complained, “I know you like animals, but don’t you have enough of them without transforming children?”

“I’m not doing this to get more animals, you buffoon!” Dresseur Loyal snarled, dodging the kick and failing to land his punch. “Children are beasts! They are naughty things that need to be taught a lesson. Those that act like a circus belong in one!”

“Not all children are naughty—” Chat objected before abruptly noticing something was holding his leg. He looked down and realized the elephant had turned its head and grabbed him with its trunk. “Uh-oh.”

It flung him into the bushes, crashing into Ladybug, who had righted herself and was just about to throw her yoyo. “Hey, Milady. Thought I’d drop in…”

“This isn’t working. We need to find his akuma,” Ladybug declared.

Dresseur Loyal laughed maniacally. “The show’s not over yet! The next act is about to begin and it’s a real _Trompe-la-Mort!”_

He cracked his whip again and the ground shook underneath the super duo. They both yelled as they were suddenly hoisted into the sky by a rising high wire. Chat Noir was left wobbling on one foot, using his baton to desperately try to find balance, while Ladybug hung only by one hand. She grabbed the wire with her other hand and carefully hoisted herself up. Unfortunately, this shook the wire so much that Chat Noir lost his balance and he had to crouch down and hold on with both hands to avoid falling. This in turn shook the wire and caused Ladybug to slip backward, although she retained her grip. This resulted in her crouching upside-down, hanging Spiderman-style from the high wire.

Dresseur Loyal roared with laughter until the screeching of one of his monkeys interrupted him. It was pointing toward the center of the park. “Finally,” the akuma triumphed. “Don’t let them escape!”

“We have to stop him!” Ladybug cried as his elephant charged away. “Come on!” She hooked her feet around the wire like a sloth. Chat copied her and together they shimmied their way over to the nearest platform.

 

 

 

The gift shop clerk was not paid enough to deal with rowdy unattended children. The harassed youngster had tried to put out a bulletin over the loud speakers for the kids’ parents to pick them up but he hadn’t been able to interrupt the circus music that was blaring across the park for some reason.

“Put that down—you haven’t paid for that—stop it, you can’t play in here,” he snapped, shooing the children to the door when he finally had enough. He stopped short when he found the way blocked by a different kind of kid. “What the—?”

The young goat rammed into his shin as the children dodged out of the way, laughing. It was fairly weak and didn’t have much in the way of horns but it still hurt. As he hopped on one foot, holding his leg, he nearly ran into the young calf that had snuck up behind him.

“Why are there animals in here?” the clerk demanded.

“So much for that ban. It looks like the petting zoo came to us,” commented a pleased Nicolas as a small lamb approached him.

“Aw! Look, a bunny!” Louisette cooed as a tiny brown bunny hopped up to her. She reached down to try and pet it but was promptly bitten. “Aïe! They’re not nice, these animals,” she complained.

“Euh, guys… I think we have a problem,” Nicolas frowned as more animals appeared, surrounding them.

The animals closed in and began pushing and shoving the small children towards the exit. When one of the goats was unable to forcibly move Alceste, it switched tactics and began biting the chubby boy on the rump to encourage him forward. The astonished clerk made to help the kids but backed off when one of the calves charged him. When the animals managed to remove the kids, loudly complaining the whole way, outside the gift shop, they were greeted by loud circus music and sinister laughter.

“My four least favorite brats, at last,” Dresseur Loyal growled in pleasure. “True beasts, if I’ve ever seen them.”

“Who’s he? Looks like a freak,” laughed Clotaire to jeers from his friends.

Dresseur Loyal snarled. “Don’t worry, little _bêtes_. Soon your outsides will match your insides. _Cirque du Bêt—_ ”

“If you like _bêtes_ so much, how about a _bête à bon Dieu_?” Ladybug quipped, interrupting his attack and seizing his wrist with her yoyo.

“Excellent play on words, Milady,” Chat Noir remarked, delighted. “But _toucan_ play at this game.” He leapt forward to engage the akuma.

“His Miraculous! Take his Miraculous!” Papillon demanded.

Dresseur Loyal seized the tail of his whip with his free hand, pulling it free before grabbing the handle and cracking it immediately. “ _Cirque du Bêtes!_ ” Chat struck him with his baton in hopes of stopping him but half the children disappeared in smoke. Nicolas and Clotaire were left staring in shock at a piglet and a small weasel where their friends used to be.

“Ha! Alceste’s a pig!” Nicolas noted in amusement.

Ladybug braced herself to try to pull Dresseur Loyal away from the children, but before she could try, he suddenly yanked his arm back, dragging her forward. Her footing lost, the akuma swept his arm around, sending her flying into Chat Noir. He promptly used the opportunity for another attack. “ _Cirque du Bêtes!_ ”

With another crack of his whip, Clotaire became a young badger and Nicolas a puppy.

“No!” Ladybug cried, but the akuma’s primary goal was complete.

“They’ll change back as soon as we capture that akuma,” Chat Noir reminded her. “But where is Papa Smurf hiding it? I don’t think he had a whip before he transformed.”

Ladybug nodded in agreement, furiously scanning his outfit for similarities.  The whip and top hat were out… the blue skin and fluffy white hair _did_ scream smurf, but that was hardly helpful… the fancy jacket and tall boots were a far cry from his original outfit… what did that leave, his pockets?... or… “Got it! The bowtie!” she announced.

“Understood!”

Chat Noir charged forward but before Ladybug could join him, one of the goats bit her leg. She looked down to shake him off but the other animal children joined in. They piled on top of her and she hesitated in throwing them off, afraid to hurt them. Without his backup, Chat Noir only just missed getting hit by a well-aimed blow with the whip. As he steeled himself, Dresseur Loyal cracked his whip again. “ _Trompe-la-Mort!_ ” he cried.

With another puff of smoke, Chat Noir found himself inside a cannon. He only had time to look startled before, with another crack of the whip, the cannon aimed itself and fired; shooting him off into the distance. Mylène and Ivan, who were peacefully waiting out the akuma attack on a park bench, looked up in surprise to watch the screaming superhero flying overhead. He finally came to a crash landing through the roof of a building on the other side of the park.

“So much for always landing on my feet,” he complained before a growl startled him into noticing his surroundings. He had evidently fallen through the roof of the big cat house, judging by the angry lion glaring at him from the other side of what was clearly the lion exhibit. He gulped. “Good kitty.”

The lion leapt forward and Chat Noir struck out with his staff. It missed the lion’s nose by a good few inches, but the animal didn’t seem fond of the idea of getting hit with it anyway. Chat poked his stick forward and the lion recoiled a bit. “Back, back!” he cried, advancing on the grumpy cat, which batted at the staff in complaint but retreated all the same.

“Not bad,” he mused. “I’d make an excellent lion tamer. I don’t suppose you have a hoop to jump through?”

The force of the lion’s responding roar was enough to blow his hair back.

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Ladybug had managed to free herself from the pile of animals by launching her yoyo around a nearby tree and pulling herself out of danger.

“ _Mesdames et Messieurs_ , hold onto your hats, for the next act is about to begin!” Dresseur Loyal announced grandly.

“Oh no you _don’t_ ,” Ladybug muttered, swinging down towards the akuma.

Dresseur Loyal cracked his whip against the ground where he stood and suddenly a large pole shot out of the ground, with several others popping up around it. To Ladybug’s great surprise, canvas began unfurling between the rising poles, creating a barrier headed straight towards her. Ladybug yelped as she bounced off the tent ceiling several times before landing hard on her rump.

“I hate the circus,” Ladybug grumbled, rubbing her backside before charging into the tent. The inside was completely dark; being the superhero without night-vision, Ladybug was forced to stop. “Show yourself!” she demanded.

A spotlight illuminated her as Dresseur Loyal’s voice rang out of the darkness. “Ladybug, you’re just in time for our grand finale… _Trompe-la-mort_!”

A puff of smoke enveloped her and Ladybug found herself strapped to a wheel in the center of the main ring. A laughing Dresseur Loyal stood opposite her next to a bucket of knives.

“Chat Noir will give me his Miraculous if he knows what’s good for you,” Dresseur Loyal cackled. “But as for you, Ladybug, you don’t have the choice.”

Ladybug screamed as the wheel began turning and a knife embedded itself in the wood dangerously close to her ear.

 

 

 

“Marinette was right, you _do_ need the akuma talk again!”

“ _Chut!_ ” Alya shushed her boyfriend as they crept along the side of the circus tent. “My sisters are definitely in there and I’m not going to stand by and do nothing.”

Finding an opening, they slipped inside the tent. They found themselves in a backstage area adjacent to the main ring. They crept along, careful to avoid any more monkey guards, like the ones they’d slipped past outside. Upon hearing a yell from the main tent, they peeked their heads around the canvas and were startled to see Ladybug tied to a spinning wheel while the akuma from earlier threw knives at her. He’d missed every shot so far but there was no telling how long that would keep up.

“It’s Ladybug! We’ve got to do something!” Alya declared.

“ _Euh_ , right. But what and how?” Nino replied, skeptical.

“Hmm…” Alya touched her hand to her chin in thought. “I’ve got a plan!”

“…a _good_ plan?”

“Come with me!”

Not a minute later, Alya’s plan was in action with Nino getting chased by one monkey guard while Alya was craftily pulling the clown wig off another without it noticing. Clown disguise in place, Alya crept along the side of the big tent and waited for Nino to be captured, which he was. Promptly.

“Animal circuses are lame! Everyone knows acrobatic theater is where it’s at!” Nino proclaimed loudly as two monkey guards dragged him into the main tent.

“And who are you?” Dresseur Loyal asked with distaste.

“I’m an animal rights advocate or something. Enslaving animals is not cool, bro,” Nino responded. The akuma growled in annoyance.

While he was distracted, Alya crept behind the wheel Ladybug was on and whispered, “Ladybug, it’s me.”

“Alya?”

“Hold on, I’m going to get you out!” Alya whispered and stealthily grabbed one of the knives that were stuck in the wheel, stopping the spin and pulling the knife free.

“I just need my right hand free; I can get the rest,” Ladybug explained quietly.

Alya nodded and went to work, sawing and hacking at the rope while Nino rambled on. “Do you have insurance for that high wire? I’m going to need to see your permits.”

“Almost… got it!” Alya cheered as Ladybug’s arm busted out of its restraint.

“Thanks, Alya. Now leave the rest to me,” Ladybug said confidently and used a combination of a knife and her strength to quickly break free of the other bonds. Still somewhat dizzy, she landed unsteadily on her feet and tried to use her yoyo, but it fell short of its goal and landed on her head. Alya looked concerned but she flashed her an unconvincing smile.

“Enough! Do you want me to turn you into one of your precious animals? Or would you rather I stuck you up on a rack with Ladybug—LADYBUG!” Dresseur Loyal snarled, pointing his whip towards his captive for emphasis before realizing the heroine in question was free. “GET THEM!”

Ladybug shook her head to clear it and grabbed Alya by the waist, swinging up out of the way of the oncoming monkeys.

“Don’t forget Nino!” Alya cried.

Ladybug nodded firmly. “I’m on it!” Landing on one of the high wire platforms, she struck out her yoyo and knocked over a concession cart. In the split second the monkeys let go of their captive in surprise, Ladybug wrapped her yoyo around Nino’s waist and hoisted him up to her. “Hold on tight,” she instructed her friends, ensuring they both had a good grip around her before swinging down towards the main entrance. Upon landing, she grabbed each civilian by the hand and they ran to safety.

Outside the tent, Ladybug paused to let them catch their breath. “Thanks for your help. Chat Noir and I will take it from here,” she told them.

“Where’d he go?” asked Nino.

“ _Euh_ … he had a little…” Ladybug smirked as she debated between honesty and sparing Chat’s ego.

“Looking for me, Milady?”

Despite how many strange things she saw on a regular basis, Ladybug still found herself gaping as Chat Noir casually road in on the back of a lion. He looked rather pleased with himself as he came to a stop in front of his partner.

“What’s this? Taking time off for a family reunion, were you?” she teased, letting the lion sniff her hand before stroking it under its chin. The lion leaned into her hand before flopping over like an overgrown housecat, upending Chat Noir off its back.

“Sorry for the delay,” Chat said as he dusted himself off. “You _cannon_ believe the day I had. I don’t remember signing up to be a _chastronaute_.”

“Oh, really? I would have thought a man of your caliber could handle it,” Ladybug replied, ignoring the double-take her partner did at her unexpected pun. “I don’t know about you, but I think it’s time for this circus to pack up permanently. _Lucky charm!_ ”

The four teens watched as a small package of chewing gum fell from the sky. “Looks like it’s time to burst his bubble,” Chat Noir commented.

Ladybug glanced around for clues. “I’m not sure how to use this yet,” she admitted, slipping it under the yoyo string at her waist before turning back to Alya and Nino. “Thanks for your help. Don’t worry, we’ll wrap this up quickly.”

The two superheroes ran back into the tent, leaving Alya and Nino alone with the lion. Nino put his arms protectively around his girlfriend and the couple inched away from the carnivore, who just flicked his tail lazily.

The super duo burst dramatically through the main entrance, sending monkey guards flying. They were quickly greeted by the herd of transformed children charging them, but they each put an arm around each other’s shoulders and Chat Noir extended his baton, easily vaulting over them.

“I’ve never been to the circus; not sure I’m a fan,” Chat admitted, as they came to rest on a trapeze swing.

“You haven’t missed much,” Ladybug assured him, scanning the tent. How could they get the akuma out of his bowtie with chewing gum? From her aerial position, she could easily see the workings of the main tent’s structure, as well as Dresseur Loyal standing angrily beneath them. “I’ve got it!” she exclaimed, popping of a piece of gum in her mouth and chewing. “Chat Noir, the King Pole!”

Chat Noir looked at the pole and back at Ladybug, catching on. “Leave it to me!” He dropped down to dangle below the swing. Ladybug hooked her legs around the swing and grabbed Chat’s ankles. With the ease of any professional trapeze artists, they swung back and forth until Ladybug had enough momentum to launch her partner at the tent’s center pole. As he flew through the air, Chat Noir cried, “Cataclysm!” and activated his corrosion power.

Chat Noir caught himself on the pole, sliding down to the very bottom, rusting the tent’s main support the whole way. Still chewing her gum, Ladybug returned to a standing position on the swing and wrapped her yoyo around it, before swinging down to meet Chat Noir.

“No! My tent! What are you doing?” demanded Dresseur Loyal angrily. Chat barely had to touch what was left of the pole for it to come crumbling down, taking the unsupported canvas ceiling with it.

“Stick please,” Ladybug requested calmly as the tent collapsed around them. Chat handed her his baton and she plopped her gum on the end of it as the canvas enveloped them.

Dresseur Loyal flailed about, unable to use his whip or even see anything beyond his fabric prison. He barely felt the sticky staff that plucked the bowtie right off his neck before contracting back to its owner. Chat Noir pulled the bowtie off the gum and extended his baton to lift enough canvas off himself and his partner for them to work.

“Merci,” Ladybug said as he handed her the bowtie, which she promptly tore in half. “You’ve done enough harm, little akuma. I free you of evil!”

“Damn you, Ladybug!” Papillon cursed. “You may have played me for a fool this time, but next time you won’t fair so lucky. I _will_ have your Miraculous and when I do, no power on Earth can help you.” He retreated into the darkness to scheme another day.

“Miraculous Ladybug!” Ladybug tossed the chewing gum packet into the air, sending a cascade of magical ladybugs to return all to normal; the zoo gates opened, the animals returned to their pens, and the American mother found herself once again holding an infant instead of a goat as all the children regained their true forms.

 “ _Bien joué_!” The super duo said in unison, as they bumped fists. A few feet away, Mathais Chastain got to his feet.

“Well that was _in tents_ ,” Chat Noir punned, pointing finger guns at his unamused lady.

“What happened?” the zoo attendant asked, holding his head.

“Everything’s alright now, Monsieur. Return to your animals, I’m sure they need you,” Ladybug told him kindly before shrugging at Chat Noir. “Well, I’d better be off now.”

“W-wait. We’re detransforming now, but what do you say you and I meet back here later for an evening at the zoo, just us two?” Chat suggested, unintentionally reminding himself of Marinette’s earlier impression of him.

“Sorry, _minou_ ,” she flicked his bell. “I’ve had enough animals for today. Catch you later!” She swung her yoyo out and dashed off.

Chat Noir sighed. “Someday,” he told himself, before he too left to detransform.

 

 

 

The next day at school, Marinette, Alya, and Mylène sat on a bench in the courtyard happily looking at pictures of their zoo trip on Alya’s phone. The reminiscing and laughter were frequently punctuated by Marinette’s requests for pictures of Adrien.

“Relax, girl, I’m sending you the whole album,” Alya chuckled. “Then the only thing you have to do is figure out which pictures to print off and plaster across your walls.”

Marinette clasped her hands together in glee and leaned playfully on her best friend’s shoulder. “You’re the best,” she squealed.

“Ah! What a great shot of the panther!” Mylène commented. “He was sleeping when Ivan and I went to see him.”

“I think the better shot is the one of Adrien at the pheasant coup,” Alya snickered, flipping to a picture of Adrien sneezing for all he was worth. “His feather allergy got the best of him.”

“Poor thing,” Marinette sighed sympathetically.

“Are you guys looking at photos from the zoo?” Adrien asked cheerfully, strolling over to them.

“Yeah, wanna see?” Alya asked mischievously. Marinette turned to look at her, only to find to her surprise that both Alya and Mylène had instantaneously scooted over to leave a gap for Adrien to sit next to her.

Adrien obliviously sat down in the proffered seat, casting a smile on Marinette.

She grinned stupidly. “Hey, morning. Good Adrien.”

“Aw! Look how sweet,” Mylène cooed over a picture of the twins sleeping on Alya and Nino’s shoulders.

“That was after the akuma attack,” Alya explained. “They got transformed into animals and once they turned back they had about ten minutes of energy left in them before it was lights out.”

“Manon slept like a log all the way back to her house,” Marinette added.

“Oh good, you’re all together,” Nino strode over to the group, grinning. “I have a present for you.”

“Oh? A present? I like where this is going,” his girlfriend remarked.

“ _Et voilà!_ ” Nino exclaimed and pressed a button on his phone. Music began playing that was familiar and yet very different.

“Is that… Doudou Lapinou?” Mylène asked in confusion, as the other three burst into laughter.

“Is that _dubstep_ Doudou Lapinou?” asked Alya through gasps.

“I whipped this up last night,” Nino explained. “Thought a little remix might make the theme song more bearable.”

“That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard,” Alya grinned, standing up and putting an arm around him.

“You’ve outdone yourself,” Adrien agreed.

“Glad you like it. Nice to know it was worth getting it stuck in my head.”

The others laughed as Nino headbanged to the beat. Onlookers watched in confusion as the five friends danced to a hardcore remix of what sounded like a children’s song. But those few in on the joke had fun, and that was all that mattered to them.

 

 

WHAT THE HAWK?!

And now here’s _What the Hawk?!_ with Fun Facts and Frenchsplanations!

 

 _Le Ménagerie du Jardin des Plantes_ is the “zoo” they go to in the series, for those who don’t know. It’s actually a fairly large menagerie in a larger botanical garden (called _le Jardin des Plantes_ ) but the actual title is a mouthful so everyone seems to just call it “the zoo.” I’ve never been there (I only went to _les Jardins du Luxembourg_ so sue me) so I looked up the information I needed online and downloaded the zoo map. They do actually have a gift shop, but I have no idea what they sell there because that wasn’t listed online. Creative licensing was used.

The name Desper not only sounds like “despair” but its meaning supposedly comes from Old French to mean “rough” or “cruel” in reference to the cruel transgression he commits against Adrien and fashion.

 _Allô_ Is how the French answer phones; an alternate form of “hello.” _Chut_ is “shush.”

“Ossicones” are the horn-like things on giraffes’ heads. I looked up the proper name because it’s always bothered me that I didn’t know what to call them. They’re not actually spotted, of course, but most giraffe headbands/hats spot them to make them look extra giraffe-y.

Manon got to make one of the better French puns in this chapter. You may have heard _ami(e)_ is “friend” and _petit(e) ami(e)_ is a “girlfriend/boyfriend.” But since _petit(e)_ literally means “small/little/short” Manon offers to be Adrien’s “small friend” before asking if he has a girlfriend. The English equivalent is obviously “girl friend” versus “girlfriend” but that short joke was too great not to leave in French.

 _Youpi!_ means “yay!” or “hooray.” _Hé!_ is “hey!” (as either an indignant interjection or an attention getter) and _zut!_ Is “darn/dang it!” _Beurk!_ Means “yuck!”

The mischievous children are all named for characters in a beloved French children’s series, _Le Petit Nicolas_. It’s basically like the French version of “Dennis the Menace.” I read several of these stories in my high school French class and I still have some printouts. They’re delightful.

 _Hou la menteuse, elle est amoureuse!_ Translates to “boo the liar, she is in love”—it’s basically the French version of the “sittin’ in a tree” song. This joke was brought to you by me watching LoliRock.

The girl with red bobbed hair and the boy in the hunting cap are the naughty kids in the Christmas special who threw snow at Santa.

I can only imagine how confusing the name _Dresseur Loyal_ is without context to English-speakers when it looks like it’s calling someone a “loyal dresser.” You may have figured out by his appearance that I was going for a circus Ringleader aesthetic; “ringleader” translates as _Monsieur Loyal_ in French. The original name for this akuma was going to be “Animonsieur” as a combination of _animaux_ (animal) and _monsieur_ but that was a little too close to Animan. Playing with the name, I looked into why the title of the leader of the circus was known as Mr. Loyal ( _loyal_ means the same in both languages) when I found out that the “Loyal” actually refers to a surname, rather than a description. The name references Pierre Claude Loyal and the entire Loyal family who became emblematic of circus presenters around the early 1800s in Paris. It became clear that since the _Loyal_ part of _Monsieur Loyal_ was the identifying part of the title, I needed to use it to get my point across. _A dresseur_ is a “trainer” (of animals), so I swapped it with _monsieur_ to give the impression of a circus animal trainer since the akuma’s main goal was making a child circus. Since female ringleaders can be called _Madame Loyal_ , swapping the “Mr/Mrs” title for “Trainer Loyal” doesn’t disturb the meaning overmuch. It works in French but in English it’d have to be swapped for something more obvious like “Dark Ringmaster” or chaos would surly erupt in the streets.

 _Mesdames_ , _Mesdamoiselles, Messieurs_ is “Ladies and Gentlemen.” Just _Mesdames et Messieurs_ works too.

A _trompe-la-mort_ is a “daredevil” or someone who does something “death-defying.” I decided to give the akuma two named attacks; turning kids into animals ( _cirque du bêtes_ ) and circus attacks ( _trompe-la-mort_ ), as well as general circus powers (music, tents, putting bears in tutus, etc.) that don’t have an a name.

There were a lot of hidden gems that didn’t translate. The main thing you need to know is that the animals the children turn into were chosen for a reason. _Lapin_ is the French word for “rabbit/bunny” but it’s also a word used to describe good little children. In English we have phrases like “won’t you be a lamb and... (do something nice)” where lamb is a positive sort of nickname. There also exist the opposite; my mom used to call me a toad when I misbehaved. The fun thing about learning languages is that _every_ culture seems to use animals and their traits to describe people; foxes are sly, whales are fat, peacocks are vain, etc. The French agree with us that lambs are good, so Manon, Ella, and Etta (the good children) are good animals; the mischievous kids get the less flattering animals.

 _Bête_ can mean a few things, including “beast,” “animal,” or an “idiot” or a “foolish” person. _Bête à bon Dieu_ is another name for a ladybug.

One thing I noticed, when looking up info about _Le Ménagerie,_ is that they don’t have very large animals anymore. In _Animan_ , they were shown to have at least two giraffes, one elephant, three gorillas, two brown bears, and a crocodile (there could have been more of each but that were never shown on the screen at the same time). The interesting thing is that _Le Ménagerie_ currently has none of these animals in reality—or at least I found no evidence of them on their zoo map or website. And yet the elephant and giraffes are still canon. That’s why I didn’t feel bad about giving them a lion either :P

 _Chastronaute_ is _chat_ \+ _astronaute_ (astronaut in French, obvs). I didn’t come up with this one; I saw it on a T-shirt online and had to steal it. (P.S. I want that shirt)

 _Bien joué_ is what they say in French when they fist bump. It literally means “well played” as I’ve been using until now but it can also mean “good job,” “way to go,” etc. It was requested that I just use this instead of translating it.

 _Doudou Lapinou_ isn’t a real TV show. It’s inspired by “Caillou” in more ways than one—it’s beloved by children; hated by adults and then there’s the theme song. I watched a Miraculous Cracked video on youtube by user Jesse Bundrick and that’s how I found out that there exists a dubstep remix of the “Caillou” theme song. Which is a beautiful thing. I needed that in my life. And thus, DJ Nino comes to the rescue and remixes _Doudou’s_ theme song. _Doudou_ is a term for a child’s favorite plaything, like a blankie or a cuddly toy (those of you who have seen S2E2 may be familiar with it). It doesn’t really have a direct translation to English. _Lapinou_ is a diminutive form of _lapin._ Together, _Doudou Lapinou_ makes for a sickly sweet nickname. It’s like calling a child Fuzzy-Wuzzy Snookum-Pie. I designed it to make people cringe.


End file.
